I suppose sending them a card of encouragement. If you had it to spare maybe a GC to dinner or something perhaps to get their mind off it? Or maybe a box of little goodies that the kids can take with them for the waiting room or while visiting the hospital..little handheld games or travel sized games maybe?
another thought. If you could go...what would you do? would you take the kids to a park, would you the the family to dinner? Maybe send them the things that they would be able to use to do these things themselves (if you'd be there to comfort them, send bears in your place, gc's, small kid oriented gifts, candies...). Perhaps a small photo album and a disposeable camera. Tell them to each take a pic with the lo, and to put them in the album. It might be tough to do now but later they might appreciate it, or send just the camera and you do it for them, leaving room for them to add their thoughts to it later.
LO (2yo) went to be with Jesus last night. Some of us pulled together and got them gift cards and groceries. The last time something like this happened we made quilt squares and had them quilted together. I don't know if we will do that again. If we do, I might suggest making something for the siblings as well.
I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend's LO. May he rest in peace.
I was going to suggest groceries, as well. I have received [in lean times] and also given [in fat times] care packages which include food essentials. In this case I would suggest easy to prepare stuff, or even stuff that doesn't require any type of preparation, at all. The last thing you friends are going to want to do is prepare sustenance for themselves, right now. Keep it easy, but nourishing. They will need their strength.
That's all I can think of, right now, but if something else comes to mind I will post it!
Sending positive healing thoughts out to your friend and her family, and also to you, in such a difficult time. *hugs*
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