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I put my opinion in here because I thought it would help the op see some things she might not have seen...outside advice can be valuable! If she has had enough well so be then and get the divorce..but..what she wants and what she thinks shes going to get can and will change when it comes to a divorce..imho..

The grass might not always be greener on the other side.
 

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If you apply for financial assistance, the state will file for a child support order if one is not already in place. In California at least, if you get cash aid, they will give you the first $50 of CS, then keep the rest up to the amount of aid given.
 

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OP: I stand by my original post. Get a lawyer. Even if you work things out, you need to be aware of the many aspects of divorce in your State.

Regarding depression and divorce: I was dx with major clinical depression, bad enough to require hospitalization, WHEN I WAS MARRIED. I am MUCH happier now that I am divorced.

I've also seen MANY children who were victims in dysfunctional marriages and they grew up screwed up and not knowing how to relate to the opposite sex.

Please do NOT guilt the OP into any option. I could provide many links on both sides of the argument. Ultimately, the OP is the only one who knows exactly what she is going through and that's why she needs to see a counselor and a lawyer, not depend on Frugal Village members to guide her.
 

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OP: I stand by my original post. Get a lawyer. Even if you work things out, you need to be aware of the many aspects of divorce in your State.

Regarding depression and divorce: I was dx with major clinical depression, bad enough to require hospitalization, WHEN I WAS MARRIED. I am MUCH happier now that I am divorced.

I've also seen MANY children who were victims in dysfunctional marriages and they grew up screwed up and not knowing how to relate to the opposite sex.

Please do NOT guilt the OP into any option. I could provide many links on both sides of the argument. Ultimately, the OP is the only one who knows exactly what she is going through and that's why she needs to see a counselor and a lawyer, not depend on Frugal Village members to guide her.
Nice post. Good advice.LIKE.
 

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I'm not going to apologize for sharing the information in my previous post, but I will say that the information was in no way intended to be a "guilt trip". There are situations where divorce is absolutely the best option for all involved, and it may be the right option for the OP, we obviously don't know the details of a 16-year marriage. However, it's also a decision that impacts an entire family system in dramatic ways, and if there is a possibility that a marriage can be salvaged/repaired/reinvented, it makes sense to look at potential impacts, risks, benefits, etc. My post was intended to generate thoughts and questions, not to render any sort of judgement.
 

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I'm not going to apologize for sharing the information in my previous post,
Nobody ever should apologize for sharing their thoughts in my opinion.

Everybody's opinion and thoughts matter. Some may not like it, some may think it is spot on. It constantly baffles me to see someone voice their opinion and then get called out by others when that person has just as much right to post their thoughts and opinions as the next person.

So, don't apologize, you have the right to post whatever you like within the forum guidelines.

This goes for everybody, including those who respond to your posts.
 

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I'm not going to apologize for sharing the information in my previous post, but I will say that the information was in no way intended to be a "guilt trip". There are situations where divorce is absolutely the best option for all involved, and it may be the right option for the OP, we obviously don't know the details of a 16-year marriage. However, it's also a decision that impacts an entire family system in dramatic ways, and if there is a possibility that a marriage can be salvaged/repaired/reinvented, it makes sense to look at potential impacts, risks, benefits, etc. My post was intended to generate thoughts and questions, not to render any sort of judgement.
You shouldn't have to apologize for your opinion. We all have opinions, beliefs, and personal experiences. My only point was suggesting the OP get help from professionals in the necessary field.
 
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