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My kids were off at the neighbor's house playing. We went over to get them for lunch. Four year old was out in front of the group. Got to the corner first, looked one way and started crossing as she looked the other way. We started yelling "Stop!" She saw the car and ran faster forward. Fortunately, the car stopped for her and the rest of us.

She knew the rules and followed them before this. Now, she refuses to believe that she will be hurt if she isn't careful. If she sees a car, she now thinks the driver will stop for her because this one did. No matter what we said, she refused to believe us.

How do I get her retrained to follow the rules and understand WHY we follow the rules?
 

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That would be scary! For DD she understands that a car could kill her if it hit her but she is nine and still does not look when she crosses the road. No matter how hard I try, for her it is because she has no stop and think. So I still have to hold her hand any time we come to a road. No advice here but hugs I hope someone has some advice for you.
 

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4 yr. old is still young. and impulsive. When my kids were that age we held hands. We skipped and swung our arms as it was a game. And in that day a small swat "to get attention" was acceptable in the case of danger."
Ya know I was just thinking the prob. is also listening. She needs to just follow what you say w/o asking because your the mama and she trusts you.
Ds was harder about that. I faked leaving him in Target to shake his 3yr.old confidence. I was watching the whole time but he didn't know it. Took 2 min. for that lesson.
 

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Scary! We still hold hands to cross with dd who's 3. She knows to look both ways, but I still wouldn't trust her to do it herself. She doesn't get a car could hurt her yet.

The neighbors kids are ridiculous. The 18 month old runs out in the road between parked cars, runs down the street barefoot and hides in other peoples yards. The older boys (5-12) look after her...I've seen the parents outside with her maybe 3 times...mostly they don't even watch her. Can't talk to the parents as they don't speak English. Cops have been called to their house before.

Had another neighbor a few years ago who had a baby in diapers CRAWLING across the road. Sigh. I called the cops when I saw that. By the time they arrived the kids were inside.
 

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I moved into my house 5 years ago, and became friends with the neighbors across the street. Their boy, 3 at the time, would see my wife or I and come running across the street to say hello. Every time, either us or his parents would tell him to look before crossing. 5 years later, we still have to. He's a little better, but just gets so excited he doesn't think first.

That doesn't help in any way, but I don't know much about raising kids.
 

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You keep working on it, and she doesn't get to lead the group until you are more confident in her skills. Depending on the setting (busy parking lots, when leaving large events, etc), I still require that my 6-year-old hold my hand. We practice and talk about how to cross the street when we are on walks together. Before we head out for a walk we review street safety by me prompting "tell me what I need to know about crossing the street" and he will list the steps that he has been taught. I often ask him when we're standing at corners..."is it safe to cross the street now?" and have him tell me why or why not. When he demonstrates safe behavior or correct knowledge he receives positive reinforcement (smile, praise, shoulder squeeze, high five).

He's always done fairly well with street safety, but last year he witnessed a friend get hit by a car while walking home from school. The incident really impacted him. "That's why you and dad are so strict about crossing the street!"
 

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it just takes time. My son is 7 and I still have to remind him to look before crossing the street, watch for cars when riding his bike. He was HORRIBLE about this and finally, I think with age, its starting to set in. I like what FrabjousDay does...constant reinforcement.

I do the same thing with other things. My son will ask me "why"..and I then say "you tell me why". teaches him to think on his own and most of the time, he already knows the answer, just doesn't take the time to think and wants the instant gratification.
 

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It takes time and lots of work. For my 5 year old...it was his want of independence that got him where he is. In order to have the privilege of walking across the street without holding my hand he had to show me that he was able to cross the street safely all the time...every time.

For months and months any time we walked anywhere if he couldn't or didn't go through the required steps without being told...he had to hold my hand. He also had to get off his bike (if he was riding one) and walk it across at every cross walk...every time.

He had one incident with his bike with the neighbor girl (she & her brothers were HORRIBLE at crossing the street...we always thought we were going to be calling an ambulance!!!). They both rode out into the street without looking and were so close to being hit by a pickup truck coming down the road. I pulled BOTH of them off their bikes, yelled at them and swatted them each on the bottom. I made my son sit on the steps, took his bike for a week and he had to hold my hand every time we crossed the street again. I dragged the little girl over to her house and yelled at her parents for good measure too. I was seriously just fed up by that point...not to mention they scared the crap outta me! I mean, they were missed by inches! This was last summer when they were still 4.

I have had very few incidents since then with my son. The little girl and her family moved away. Any time I hear from neighbors that they saw J crossing without looking...he gets timeout and has to hold my hand again everywhere. If he's on his bike at that time...his bike gets taken too.

You just have to be stern and consistent. There is of course always a child that likes to push things. I have one of those too. :) And my 5 year old will still hold my hand when he wants too...though that is getting fewer and further between.
 

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you will NOT like my answer..sorry...

my dd has aspergers and was horrid with this..but i'd like my kids alive thank you very much...


so i found articles with kids being KILLED by cars....and showed the pics of the kids..(the healthy pics, not the accident pics...)
yes even at 4 i did this...she could not comprehend that death could be the result!!....i needed her to GET it....i just don't have enough hands and arms and eyes....she'd bolt down the driveway...or into parking lots...

miracles...she GOT it..and is now at 11...still as hyper vigilant with herself and ANYKIDS that are around!....now with my son who is 9, is the issue of talking to strangers esp if they have a dog....MAJOR DANGER...a pet does not = safetly....that trick is an old OLD one....but at 9 he feels invincible...so we revisit the story of a girl in our old community...and how devestated the family still is..

so we remind him to come pet his OWN PETS, lol....and nice young ladies with puppies are not always good people...you simply cannot tell....being a parent is hard some days
 

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Give them all instruction about crossing road again and again whether you are there with them or not, and revise those through their mouth, now a day’s children are smart enough to remember and think about that instructions before crossing the road.
 

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Don't teach them like I did, school is 2 blocks from my house but you have to cross the highway to get there.I used to walk my daughter there and back everyday.When she turned 8 she wanted to walk by herself, so I let her. I got a note from the teacher that she was almost always late which I couldn't understand.So the next morning I walked her as I started to cross the highway she yelled. Stop there's a car coming !!!! That car was 3 blocks away and the speed limit on the highway is 35mph.That is the reason I had her cross a block north of the house because you can see 3 blocks both directions.I then explained to her if the car is that far away it's safe to cross.I bet most mornings she was standing there for who knows how long to cross. My friend did the same thing to her son, I was at her house one day he was going to play with his friend up the block on the other side.She looked out and he was standing at the end of the driveway.She said, What is he doing? She yelled out the window asked him, he said there's a car coming from down the road.I said OMG you did the same thing to him I did to my daughter when she was that age.So we went out and explained to him when it was safe to cross.There's not much traffic in this town of population 1200 anyway, some streets it's hours before you see a car go by.Since gas got high there aren't many teenagers out cruising like they used to either.They park down on the square and sit on their cars and trucks and visit instead.
 

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This may or may not be the right way, but it is how my momma taught me:

If Momma saw a road kill animal, she would pull the car over, point it out to me, and tell me a story about "that poor little baby *insert animal here* didn't look both ways before she crossed the road and she was hit by a car and she will never see her mommy or daddy again until they get to heaven a long long time from now and her mommy cries for her everyday. Don't we feel bad for the poor little baby *animal*."
Oh I cried plenty of times. But that lesson stuck in my mind. When I was 4 we went on vacation to Georgia to visit some cousins. Their little boy was the same age and we were playing in the yard. He headed toward the road to chase after a dog and I went crazy screaming at the top of my lungs "Momma. Help. Charlie is going to never see his mommy or daddy again. Momma!!" They caught him just before he entered the highway.
Might have been a gruesome way to teach me, but it worked!
 
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