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I feel so bad for DD (long)

1862 Views 15 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  Daisygirl
I had an IPRC meeting with the new school last week that DD started back in January.
They told me all the good things about DD 8 (grade 2)and all her strengths and that her vocabulary and her understanding of what words mean and her ability to explain things is way about average. I was thinking wow this is great I was also thinking okay so what is the bad news. The told me that DD is at a reading level 8 I thought wow this is great she has come up 3 reading levels since January. Well it turns out by the end of grade two she should be at a reading level 28! That her writing is still very poor, and that she reverses her numbers so instead of 23 she will write it or say it as 32.
They told me not to let her see her grades on her report card but just to read all the comments to her. They said they don't want to discourage her because she is trying so hard. Her teacher must have seen my heart sinking because she said you are doing everything you can. You have her in a therapeutic reading program (she reads to a therapy dog) You have a private tutor that comes out once a week. And you are putting her in the summer reading camp offered by the school. (Yup there was 179 dollars I had to come up with!)
They said though that because she was identified as an expectational student that she can't be failed that they will give her different programs etc. That she will get seating near the teachers desk, that she can give her tests orally and that she can have a scribe for some things. That as she gets a little older she will be able to have a laptop at school plus there is a device where she can speak in to it and it will write out on the screen what she is saying. They did say that when she got into grade 4 that they are probably going to put her into a half day learning disability class. And her OT which was started in SK that was only supposed to last a year will continue probably for several years. They also said that they will probably excuse her from the grade 3 testing because it will be way to much stress on her. She will also always be in a class with and EA. Her teacher told me that she still gets very distracted if someone is not with her she will not finish most of her work. I said even with her medication they said yes. The also marked down that she has diagnosed anxiety and her teacher said she could see it a lot of the time. I can't help but think how much more can this little person take, ADHD, LD, anxiety, trouble making friends because they think she is weird. I mean come on!!!
Its hard to watch her get so frustrated at what comes so easily for most of the other kids. It's hard to watch the tears and try to get her to understand that she is not stupid she just learns in a very different way. Her dad has been no help through all of this. I pay the tutor every month because he feels it is a waist of money. I did get him to give me some money towards the camp but that was after a 3 day fight over the phone trying to tell him how much she really needed it. Plus I am taking a really long intensive parenting/therapy program once a week called ITTM for parents that have been through trauma and children that have been through trauma. DD's trauma was not abuse but her father and I separating, moving around a lot, seeing me hospitalized, and the death of her brother or sister when I miscarried. Mine was 14 years of child hood abuse. I told my ex that he should come with me because there is a lot of good information about how to handle certain things that come up besides how my abuse affects my parenting skills and how it sneaks out in ways ( like being paranoid about her safety all the time to the point that I have panic attacks) He said no why would I do that I parent just fine! I wanted to slap him silly!!
I feel so guilty like maybe there was something I missed when she was little, or maybe it was something I did while I was pregnant or the blood pressure meds they had me on because I was Preeclampsia. I know logically there was probably nothing I did at all. But as a mom and I am sure all moms feel the same way you can't help but feel guilty, and think if only there was something more I could do!
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I think it's great that the school is wanting to help her so much! I've heard so many horror stories where schools are unwilling/unable to help a child that doesn't learn in a "normal" manner.

I know what it's like to feel responsible even when you are at no fault. DD who is 3 still has speech issues that stem from long term ear infections. Our LO that will be born in July/August has a birth defect. I feel sooooo bad that I did SOMETHING to cause this, but in reality we as mothers do the best we can and sometimes this are beyond our control.

I wish the best for you and your DD. It seems like she is in a nurturing educational and home environment.
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