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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Background story
I never thought that I will be in this situation. I used to have a good career, good salary and money was never a problem in my life. I used to buy designer branded items (clothes, furniture, gadgets, cosmetics etc) and go on various vacations to exotic resorts, enjoy popular dinings and lounges.

Easy Life, Abundant
Life was easy for me. Until I quit my office job and followed an ex client who establish a small firm doing projects. The projects were a success and I earned 10-20 times my regular salary. Wow. Those days were like paradise and my mistake was ..I thought they will last always. For 10 months I earned 20 times my usual salary and had a huge chunk of saving plus no debt at all.

I helped my mom who was in big debt and also helped my siblings (bailed them out of their bills and debts). I always thought that the income will always be that good, so I keep on helping because who else would help them? Until recession hits. The firm was collapsing in December 2008. The firm owner invested in bonds and stocks that were crashing down and he got a bad heart attack followed by a heavy stroke the following months.

I didn't feel the direct effect yet during 2009 because I still had lots of savings and was living very comfortably with no debt. Dining out almost every night, catching latest movies on cinema, weekend getaways, exotic vacations,shopping etc and establish my own cosmetic business. Clients were pouring in but compared to what I used to earn, profit is small. The cosmetic profit was just like "small extra" for me.

I didn't have any realistic money management skills. I figure out that I deserve the best because I worked hard all this time. I deserve the best clothes, vacations, places etc. I also like to impress people. I still had hopes that the firm will operate again, and there was some informations that the firm will operate again end 2009 but postponed to 2010. During 2009 I still live stable live.

2010 Spiralling Down
2010 I fell into credit card debt. I used the card to pay my bills and pay the card on minimum payment only.
BF found out about my situation and encouraged me to try frugal lifestyle.
My savings are getting less and less. I still manage to pay bills and end of 2010 begin to try frugal lifestyle to save money. I am still learning now.

Today ~ Rock Bottom~
I develop anxiety. I feel so unstable. I am looking for an office job again. I wanted to get back to my old office but there is no opening yet. I already inform the Human Resources Division about coming back.

I never eat out unless friends treat me.
Today I cry..my future MIL is having a birthday and I don't have extra money at all to buy a gift for her. I used to get her good branded gifts, this year na da.
I'm worrried about the bad weather, worried about paying my bills. My internet is due in 2 more days. I have to sell some items to make money fast.

Anyone reading this..please send positive energies to me, send prayers and wish me luck. I really need to turn this around.
I was crying all day and my anxiety almost developing to panic attack full blown. If you want to read more about my anxiety, please check my blog : http://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/blogs/lyra/

My challenge in 2011 is to :
-pay my debt
-get job & stability again
-manage my anxiety
 

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Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Unfortunately others are in similar circumstances but here on the forum you'll get insight on turning things around. Make no mistake though, a good positive outlook helps and this will take some time. Good luck !
 
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My sister is in the real estate market, and your story sounds exactly like hers.

My mother always says that we only learn when the lessons are hard, and unfortunately, I think a lot of us are definitely learning.
 

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you are a go-getter! go get 'em. tiger!
 
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You came to the right place. When I joined I never thought I would get where I am today. No place special...from having nothing for years to being now able to have some extra now and again. I know that doesn't sound like much but it is.You're taking the first step and everyone on here will help you through the hard time. They are great people
 

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Prayers and hugs your way! There are a lot of people out there in the same boat or much, much worse. Hang in there, you can and will turn it around. You have a lot of people here who care about you and support you. You sound like you have a wonderful, loving BF who deeply cares about you as well. Take care of yourself, there are better days ahead!
 

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**HUGS** You will get through this - and in the end, you will be stronger for it. Worrying about something you can't change (the past) does no one any good (as you well know). The best way I have found to get through the anxiety is to just pray and meditate on the Lord. being thankful for what I do have - family, friends, a house to live in, etc... and praying over the situation knowing that He will take care of me - He will help you find a way! God Bless!!
 

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Alot of people here are in the same situation. Read the forums and apply the wisdom of those here to your situation and you will recover. Sending positive thoughts your way. It will get better. You can't go anywhere but up. :hugz:
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Imarachne, thank you so much for your kind words. I am crying as I am reading this, I know I am not alone.

madhen, your mom is right. This is indeed a hard lesson. I learn to value every penny. Every cent matters now.

ladykemma2, thank you for your support.
pop goes the weasel, your story is motivating me. I am glad I come to the right place. This forum helped me a lot. My room is 80% tidy organized now and I am dealing with my anxiety as well. Now, I also have to work on my finances. Thanks for the support.

mamachop, yes my BF is very caring and sometimes I cry because I am so grateful to have him in my life. He is truly God sent.

Shelli_wnj , thank you so much for believing in me. It means a lot to me during this time.

Debbie-cat, thank you so much for believing in me.

I am grateful for everyone here who posted and this forum. I feel more calm now and I need to sell some items and make some calls, so I can pay my internet & insurance this week. Please wish me luck. I also do job hunting and meanwhile have to force myself going out of the house, manage my anxiety and get going.

I am depressed today and break down, cry most of the time. Everything I did before, my previous lifestyle was like a dream. I could easily spend $50 in a salon, and that was nothing for me. But today spending $15 at the mall already made me count my budget tightly.

For sure when my finances are right again I will maintain a frugal lifestyle and save, save, save.
 

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Hi,
Try writing down exactly what you have. From this list, decide what you need to keep, want to keep, and can part with. Sometimes it helps to just get it down in writing.

Also make a list of your skills, talents and abilities. This might help you focus on your job possibilities.

Then make a list of the people in your life who are blessings and who are important to you.

Finally, after you have explored all these blessings of friends, family, material possessions, abilities, etc., look at your obligations and responsibilities. Make a list of bills, debts, etc. Having them all listed can help you see more clearly how to approach them.

If you like, post your lists on this thread, and other Frugal villagers will be more than glad to jump in and give you positive feedback.

Hope this idea works for you. When I am down, just gettiing things in visual black and white seems to help.

(((((hugs)))))
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
forHISglory
Thank you so much for the idea. Putting everything on black & white seems like a constructive approach to face the situation instead of using the emotional approach (which I am doing right now).
I will start tomorrow with a to do list and also fill in your list as well. I will try to post it on this thread. I'm off to bed now :) I'll check this thread again tomorrow. Thanks & blessings to you :)
 

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I've been a member here for years. When I first came here I was a spoiled housewife. I wasn't prepared for how much having a child would change things financially.I learned a lot about saving money and when my husband got laid off was never more grateful for all the things i had learned.
I went from spending like I had a money tree to two layoffs , a house I overpaid for and now two kids to support. Life has changed a lot for me but thanks to FV I have been able not only make it but become a better person for it. I not only look at my own life differently but I see others in a new way as well. We all have our story, we have a rock bottom.

I believe your an intelligent woman who will pull out of this not only okay but better then ever.
 

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Well, at least the only direction you can go is up.

And think of it this way - you've had the fall (like a lot of us have) and will know the next time to not fly too close to the sun and use the skills you have learned through this time period to make sure you stay on a comfortable, even path!
 

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Hugs to you Lyra! :hugz: You've been given some great advice and I don't have anything to add, except to keep reading and posting here at the village. You will get lots of support and you will learn many, many strategies to help your situation. Hang in there and know that we care!:heartsm:
 

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Just remember stuff doesn't validate your life. As long as you have happiness in your life and people who love and support you then you can do anything.

Everyone needs a valley to appreciate the top of the mountain.

I would encourage you to start a blog or diary to get all these anxieties out. Things will work out. I would also advise you to sell stuff that you can live without or are considered frivolous.

Good luck, you aren't alone! =)
 

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I just joined today..... in tears..... in the same spot of desperation and seeking answers before doing something drastic like bankruptcy, as my husband is suggesting. I wanted to join Dave Ramsey's forums, but he charges and I'm ALREADY in financial distress, so I can't see sense in paying for a forum to get financial help. I, too, am hoping to find answers and direction for which decision to make, so we can climb out of this crisis together, maybe. Hang in there and I'll promise to do the same.
 

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That's right I agree with Bertine C all U can do is go up. I'm in the same boat as you I've been out of work for 7 months and can't find a job. Dh came home last Fri said he got laid off! So look at your situation as a do over for your life. We're lucky cause we don't have any debt except for our mortgage. Just keep looking up and digging out of the hole your're in, you'll get out! Hugs!
 
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