[nodmicks]

I swear it seems Dh and I have been having a bit of bad luck since buying our gently used car. We paid of all our non mortgage debt. We saved for years for the car . We had the FFEF. Seems we did everything the way we are supposed to right????

In last month or so since we bought our car we have had disaster after disaster draining the EF. I actually had to start laughing the other day because if someone told me the stuff that has been going on was their life I'd think they were pulling my leg. Seriously. It seems like stuff that would make a crazy movie.

We went from having over 6 month of regular expenses saved up to a month and a half of very bare bones budgeting expenses. This is really crazy!!! It has to stop. I mean that is a big chunk of $ to us and took a good while to save up.

Dh has been having some things going on at work that imply slightly that their could be job issues. It could be nothing but you never know. No job is secure. We have a plan to get as prepared as we can just in case as long as the disasters stop!!!!

DS 17 last worked on 7/4 . He took a seasonal job((3 weeks) gambling it would be longer term even though we told him it wouldn't. We told him to work that job but stay on at least 1-2 days a week at his fast food job. Of course he knew better! He assured me the boss would hold his spot at the fast food job until he saw if the seasonal job worked into more. When he asked to go back to his fast food job his position was filled. WE told him it would be as jobs are very hard to get. He is a kid. It is a learning experience.

He has been kind of lax in looking. Yes he turned in a few applications but has not really put effort into it and to be honest I took him after we had senior pics done. We told him that if he is not employed by mid Sept when ins is due for the next 6 month we will not insure his car and it will stay parked. The original agreement had been good grades WE pay~ bad grades he pays. He had been paying.

I am slightly torn about this though. There are very few job choices with in 20 miles of us. If adults are fighting for what are normally kid jobs are we expecting too much??? I'm thinking we need to turn him into a responsible adult in the next year. I think this is a good learning issue. However those of you who now have adult children do tell me if I am on the right track please.

I know 100% that things could be much much much much much worse. I am truly grateful they are not!!!!! I'm just venting a bit in a safe place.

 

[brenda67]

I remember reading about you buying a car outright and thinking with all the deals @ 0% financing going on right now..I would in no way drain my account (even though I know you have been saving for years) with the way the economy is you never know..That's only what I was thinking I would do in your case..I'm sorry for your bad luck..it will get better..(HUGS)


I can't find my 17yr old a job either..However my 15 yr old has been working at a pizza joint for over 2 months..It's very belittling sp? to my 17yr old who really can't find anything..I'm glad that we (meaning dh & I) are able to financially take care of my family right now unlike other people I know are worse off then us..

 

[nodmicks]

Thanks Brenda

We didn't buy new so no 0% available. It was a 2010 but used. I thought we were safe having the ffef on top of the car cost but nope . We didn't drain the accounts totally since we had the EF However immediately after purchase they started going! For what it is worth I really like the car.

Oh I can totally see where that is hard on your 17 year old. I hope both of our 17 year olds find a job soon. I too am grateful we can take care of our family even though I'm venting. I'm still really undecided about kiddos ins.

I watched an episode of MTV True Life "I have broke parents" It really made me sad and grateful

I think I better go write a gratitude list!!!!

 

[frugalfranny]

He is a kid. It is a learning experience.

He has been kind of lax in looking. Yes he turned in a few applications but has not really put effort into it

I think this is a good learning issue.

I think you made all the points that needed to be made..........hang in there.......parenting can be tough duty!!

I think you are right on track. Especially since he has been lax in looking.

If he has no job there is no reason for him to 'need' a car.

This might help him to think about job moves for next time and that is what you want...........a sensible adult.

Besides if this is what you have said...........don't back out.

If he really wanted the ins. paid bad enough, and if ABSOLUTELY NO JOBS ARE OUT THERE, there is..........yard work---lawn mowing.........babysitting......etc.

 

[Englishlady]

Sorry to hear that things are going the wrong way for you ((((hugs)))) I do hope things improve for you soon.

 

[mauimagic]

Sorry life is dumping on you right now - just hope it passes soon.

As for your son - see FF's comments above - I agree that you are doing a fine job - it is not easy being a parent, but the values that you are teaching, living and expecting from your son are solid and what we all need to succeed.

 

[nodmicks]

Thanks to all of you!!! I really feel much better just venting even if it is kind of silly.

Thanks for the parenting advice!!!! You are right~ even in our little rural economically depressed township there is something!! If not there is the cities 20-30 min away.

 

[frugalfoster]

You are most definitely on the right track...Make your child work for the insurance... We could have easily afforded to pay for our children's, but we didn't. Giving them responsibility to pay for their own makes them appreciate the freedom of having a car so much more than if you hand it to them. I think that if you give them everything, they begin to feel entitled...that's bad.

 

[alotofgooddeals]

yes.. you are going a great job...

the insurance thing though at least in maine... if your child lives with you...he or she must be insured one way or the other...you cannot stop paying insurance on them...

My son was 19, not doing what he needed to do...i threatened to not pay the insurance, insurance company told me that if son had a drivers license he needed to be insured on someone's car insurance...I could not just drop him...

I did want to put in here though son is now 21, living on his own and working and doing a great job... and i am very proud of him.. it was after a little bit of tough love a little over a year ago that he has grown up tremendously...

 

[ladytoysdream]

I think she means paying the insurance on HIS OWN CAR.
So if no insurance, his car won't move out of the driveway.

If me, I would not pay it. But if you do, then who pays gas, etc if he doesn't have any income coming in ?

When I married my second husband, he had 3 and I had 4, all were 10 and under when we met. So then all became teenagers quick. We did not buy any of their vehicles nor did we put insurance on them. They worked part time jobs for their own money. We just did not have it to help them out. It did not hurt any of them to find their own income. Today all have good full time jobs and a couple of them even hustle for extra money on the side. The grandkids are doing good, but a couple of them are looking for the easy path. One just got a car given to him, but he doesn't want to work. Not sure how he plans to get gas money, and insurance money. Yet his 2 brothers are both very hard workers. Each kid is different and what works for one, does not always work for the next one.

Good luck

 

[frugalfriend]

Sorry to hear of your troubles . . . I am beginning to know how you feel on this issue. :hugz: My son is 15 and is saving for his first car, which will be a beater for sure and I know Dave would be proud, lol! I told him that there is so much more to consider that just the cost of the car. There is gas, insurance, registration, and repairs/upkeep on that car. So he knows it will be awhile before he can get/maintain his own car. I called the ins. co. just to find out what insurance would cost to add him onto our policy: approx. $100. a month! Ouch! Right now he only has his permit and can drive and is insured under our policy with no additional cost until he gets his license. I agree with frugalfranny on the lawn mowing and side jobs. My ds has made quite a bit this summer, mowing lawns, painting, little construction jobs, dog sitting, etc. Unfortunately, he has blown a good part of it too. But it is a learning experience, like you said, and it is all part of growing up. Hang in there, he'll find his way!

P.S. I would have done the exact same thing you did with buying the car with cash!

 

[nodmicks]

Frugalfoster I really know you are right!

Alotofgoodeals It is his own car that he paid for half of. You were right on that one Ladystoydream Your right he does have to be put on our ins just not on his own car. We will have it parked. I'm so glad he has grown up well. It si shard being a parent!

Ladystoydream yep his own car. We also have 3 other cars. 2 liability and the newer one on full coverage. His insurance is only $100 less every six months for liability than all three of those cars. He has made a bit of cash here and there since 7/4 (maybe $60) doing a bit off babysitting for his girlfriends mom or mowing when her daughter can't do it. So there is the gas $. I honestly think his girlfriend is filling his tank too. There will be no cash from us and it will sure bite for a senior with a car to have to ride the school bus. Thanks for sharing how it was done in your family and how it turned out

Frugalfriend thanks your last comment made me smile. Can you chose which car to rate your son on? With AAA ins we could chose so I put him one she said was cheapest. He was ok to drive all even though he was rated on one car. He was also rated as an occasional driver. It was less than $300 higher for 6 months that way.

Yeah for your DS on the side jobs! Yeah I hear you on him blowing a chunk. I think that seems to be a bit of the norm. Its great you are making him look at all sides of buying a car. Unfortunately our ds is most interested in his girlfriend of almost a year more than anything else in life currently instead of jobs. Hope he enjoys the consequences. Harder on us as parents I think