[homesteadmamma]

And you are capable of making the decision, will you do so gracefully or will you fight it all the way?

I'm not sure on this answer as I would really like to live my lasting days in my own home.     I'm very independant and to know that I'd have to be completely dependant on others would make my decision very hard.     

When I was at the craft sale last Sat. a dear old lady kept coming to talk to me.   She was actually a bit crippled and had a hard time walking.    She told me she loved clocks and would purchase one of ours except she was going into the "lodge".    I asked her how she felt about that and she said she was really excited about it and could hardly wait.    I asked her when she would be moving and she looked me in the eye and said "someone has to die before I can move in there".    How sad to know that your taking someone else's place even if they are no longer on this earth. 

How about you?     Do you feel it will be an easy decision to make.

 

[Heather]

For me, I don't think it would be an easy thing to do.

I watched my grandma who was very independent and lived in her own apartment in my aunt's home until she was 92 have to go into a retirement home. It was right near us (where we used to live) so fortunately I got to see her all the time! But as nice as this place was for "us", it was like a hotel and the staff was wonderful.....to my grandma it was an "institution". She did have her good days but all in all she wasn't happy there. She knew she couldn't live at home or my Mom's due to her medical problems at the end but the retirement home just wasn't a place she wanted to be.

I think it probably depends too if you are an outgoing, join the craft, bingo, bus trip kind of person. My grandma wasn't and that did not interest her at all. She loved to sew, knit, fix anything!, spend time with family. And when the first three things weren't possible anymore it was very sad.

I am saying now that I definitely hope and pray that I am able to live in my own home but you just never know.

The comment from the elderly lady at the craft sale........she is so right. I can remember SO many times in my grandma's hall where someone would pass away, there would be the painter's come in and carpet cleaners to get the room ready for the next person.

Also to add, so many of the staff and workers in the retirement homes and nursing homes are wonderful but it is sad to see the ones that are there just for a "job". Working in a home you need to have those special qualities in working with the elderly. I saw a few that would roll their eyes at a lady and make comments and it just wasn't nice. I feel that anyone in a home deserves the respect and dignity that they have had their whole lives and just because they are in a home they shouldn't be pitied or made to feel helpless.

 

[AmyMCGS]

I'm the Activity Director in a nursing home, and I love my job. Now that you know where I'm coming from...

That didn't help last year when my grandma had to go into a nursing home for a few weeks... it was still hard for me. Knowing that she was that ill... to need 24-hour care... was hard on me. However, she is a very quiet person, and in the nursing home, they got her to socialize and even play Bingo-- I was shocked when I heard that. It turned out to be a positive experience for her, and if she would have to go back, I think the adjustment would be much easier.

As for myself, I don't think I would be thrilled to go, but if I was to the point of needing that much care, I'd probably understand that. I've seen too many families wait too long to bring a loved one to a nursing home-- by the time they do, the caregiver's health is poor, and neither one is in good shape. I'd rather go into a nursing home myself than wear out a family member like that.

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I think it probably depends too if you are an outgoing, join the craft, bingo, bus trip kind of person. My grandma wasn't and that did not interest her at all. She loved to sew, knit, fix anything!, spend time with family. And when the first three things weren't possible anymore it was very sad.

:topic: In regards to Calico's quote above, if the nursing home has a well-staffed activity department (few of us do ) they should be able to find things to interest anyone, not just the "group" kind of people. Sewing can be adapted, or a resident can talk with others about sewing, or teach someone to sew, etc. It's not the same, but it still keeps the person connected to their prior world. I feel sad when residents tell me they can't do "it" (whatever the interest is) anymore... we try to find some way for them to continue to enjoy it, in whatever limited capacity they can.


(Yes, if you get me started on nursing home topics, you may have to gag me to make me be quiet! )

 

[qponfanatic]

Our town is in the process of building a retirement home right here in town. It's a lovely little place right next to the post office, restaurant, clinic, bank and store. The residents will be able to still visit with their neighbors and get out to socialize. They each have their own little suite with a bathroom, kitchenette, sitting area and sleeping area. That is the kind of place I'd like to end up in if and when the time comes that I need that kind of help.

 

[Mom23boys]

I don't think I would want to live my last days in a nursing home, but I don't want to be a burden on my family either. I know in the town over there is a nice residential center where the senior citizens live in apartment like housing units and have round the clock care with activities planned all the time. It seems really nice.

 

[Katybird]

I think I would want to be independent as long as possible but if I ever got to the point that it would be a burden on my children to care for me I would be all for packing up and going to the retirement or nursing home.

 

[mrscornbread]

Well they would probably have to tak me kicking and screaming, but I would probably go with the promise of daily chocolate.

 

[Dixie]

lol, Robin! My mom had to be admitted into a nursing home, last year. She was not happy about it, but after a few months, she is ok with it. She is very outgoing and is a joiner. She was voted Valentine Queen last year. She was so happy, she joked about it for months, saying she was royalty!
I on the other hand am very reserved. I don't think I could stand it!

 

[voodidit]

My dad's mom lives in an assisted living home, there are 8 rooms each with their own bathroom. A group kitchen, laudry, den and living room. They have someone who cooks one meal a day for them and the others they do theirselves. She loves it, says it's like being in the dorms again..lol

Dh's grandmother is in a nursing home with Alzheimers and she has had both legs amputated and is better off being there. And right now his grandfather is starting to have some problems too, but he is going to be hard to convince that it is time to go. He has always hung out at Key Largo almost allday, everyday. It is a gas station/deli. And he still drives but all last week he had dh drive him out there in the morning and one of his buddies brings him home when he gets tired. So I thik he will go to the nursing home soon too. He won't be able to room with his wife, but he has a cousin there that he can room with.

For me, I hope I don't have to check myself in anytime soon, but I think I will go when I know it's time.

 

[dz_blonde_girl]

Amy, you sound like a fabulous AD! Thank you for all you do!

Only 20% of people over the age of 80 live in nursing homes.

I think a lot depends on finances. Social Security income drops significantly when a spouse dies. Title 19 pays room and board in a nursing facility (plus an extra $30/month spending money).

If I couldn't manage financially, I might look into low income housing for the elderly. Assisted living is very expensive and I would hope one of my children, or a community volunteer would be willing to check on me daily if I required that level of care. If I was unable to manage my care at all, I might prefer nursing home placement as to not be a burden on my children.