[Nishu]

that you don't want anyone to buy you Christmas presents? I really don't want my family stressing over me. Most of them have been really stretched financially. Mom's about to buy a house, in laws have been paying for college for their kids, our siblings are really young and just starting out...

We have 5 siblings between us and even though I'd like to buy for them, we don't live close and all the presents I've shipped so far have cost between 15-20 each. I was thinking about sending gift cards, but I'm not even sure which gc to get. Then I considered sending them one of those visa check cards but I'll be paying a premium of $3 each for those, so then I figured I'd just send them a check and tack an extra $3 on it... but a check is just tacky, isn't it?

I'm overthinking this.

 

[McD]

AnnK had posted a well-written and thoughtful letter asking her family not to purchase gifts for her and her family. Maybe that would be an option for you?

http://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/christmas/135274-christmas-letter.html

 

[Nishu]

Thanks! I forgot all about that letter.

 

[Libby]

I'd just make it known that you don't want anything this year except to know and possibly see - by them sending you a photo - that they're enjoying what Christmas is really all about - spending time with loved ones instead of sending/giving gifts.

 

[Momto5RN]

i just want to mention that if someone told me now - this close to christmas , that they didnt want to exchange gifts i would be a bit upset - some people do shopping earlier than december and i know i would be stuck with gifts i already bought but couldnt give .

 

[akolb]

Our family is big on doing framed pics and we also do dirty santa.
We have about 30-40 of us who all go to my grandparents for christmas and only those who want to participate bring a dirty santa gift.
Has made it WAY easier the last few years.

 

[Nishu]

i just want to mention that if someone told me now - this close to christmas , that they didnt want to exchange gifts i would be a bit upset - some people do shopping earlier than december and i know i would be stuck with gifts i already bought but couldnt give .

Yeah I thought of that, too. I'm probably just going to have the husband hint that there's really nothing we need or want for Christmas and leave it at that. I really love Christmas, but I hate the gift exchange part of it. I wish it could be a kids only event.

 

[Missy]

Is it too late to maybe redirect? Perhaps get the siblings involved in a project? For instance You could tell them that instead of giving gifts to you could they each help you by writing their earliest Christmas memory, that you plan on compiling these memories for grandma (or mom/dad, uncle/aunt...what have you). Just have it be the earlies or favorite memory involving the grandma/dad/mom/etc etc. That way they feel like the gave somehting, were a part of something, you avoid the feeling of having them overspend for the holiday...and theres something in the end that could be given... It's an idea.

 

[AmyBoz]

Over the years, we've paired down our celebration with my in-laws. There are 9 adults (including my father-in-law) and I have grandchild #15 in my belly. For many years, we drew names out of a hat and bought for another adult and then drew names and bought for as many kids as you had. So, if I had three kids, then I pulled 3 nieces or nephews names out of a hat and bought for them. Then, we stopped doing the adults and just did the kids. Finally, two years ago, we stopped buying for the kids as well. Now, we just go to my father-in-laws and give him gifts and he gives gifts to the kids (can't tell grandpa not to buy for his grandkids) and we eat dinner together. It's made the holiday so much more manageable and enjoyable for everyone.

 

[Nishu]

I talked to both my mom and my dad about this already. I called my dad and told him that I was thinking of asking people not to buy us anything and that I wanted to see what he'd say just to kind of test the waters. I explained that everyone else seemed really stretched this Christmas and I just didn't want anyone to fuss over us. He admitted that it was "weird" and honestly it felt a lot weirder than I anticipated. He agreed to not buy us anything, but he kept saying "So... you don't want me to buy you anything?" I know that man is going to send me money. :skept: I guess I won't cry over it.

My mom told me straight up that she wasn't buying us anything because she couldn't afford it. When she asked why I brought it up I told her that I was concerned about my other parents/inlaws and how they never said anything specifically but I suspected that they might be a little stretched this Christmas. She bought some patterns for the kids' American Girl dolls and I even feel bad that she did that.
.

 

[LuLuBleen]

About sixteen years ago, I'd had enough with "Giftsmas". While writing thank-you notes (in early January) for the Christmas gifts we'd received, I wrote that we would no longer be giving/accepting Christmas gifts (beginning the next holiday). I clearly noted that the kids would get gifts/cash until they turned eighteen.

It went over much better than expected. Probably because we don't have kids, so we were the only ones buying for other people.

In general, I think it's too late to try to get people on board now. Most people are done shopping by early December. In your case, though, it sounds like your parents are just relieved. Maybe your dad was just taken by surprise?

Anyhow, I think it's a great idea to eliminate gifts between adults. You're right...eventually you just start trading dollars. :santasm2:

 

[mauimagic]

Lots of good points and ideas for the future.

 

[Nishu]

I decided to get my mom, my stepdad, my brothers and my bil all $25 gift cards to shell since they'd all be driving over the holidays. They arrived in the mail today and my mom called to let me know "they made it." I wasn't really waiting for a thank you but reall? They made it? That's all?

When I talked to my brother on the phone I heard her talking to his girlfriend. "Is there even a shell station around here?"

Wtfever.

 

[Darlene]

Sorry your family is being so rude. Guess you know how to handle it/them next year and I hope you don't let this spoil your holiday. Shame on them.

 

[Nishu]

Sorry your family is being so rude. Guess you know how to handle it/them next year and I hope you don't let this spoil your holiday. Shame on them.

Thanks. My little brother told me thank you. It was just my mom.

I'm done! I'm going to tell everyone after Christmas that if you're over the age of 18, you don't get anything from me. :fyi:

 

[lisaflex]

i told my mom not to get me anything!

A. she cant really afford it
B. i have everything i need
C. she didnt listen

once again, i have to go to kohls to return an ugly xmas appetizer type dish and 2 xmas coffee mugs that i certainly dont need and 2 hideous xmas kitchen towels. i wish she would have listened!