[Daisygirl]

I used to post on here often, but I've dealth with a lot over the past year and pretty well vanished. To introduce myself, I'm a single mom of two girls. A couple of years ago, I would have said that I had it "all". Despite a nasty divorce, I had purchased a cute little house on my own, was leasing a current model year vehicle and had a great job.

One thing piled on top of another, leading me to the place I am now. They said the average North American is only 2 paycheques away from homelessness and I say there but for the grace of God go I.

First, my beloved dad got sick. I took a leave of absence from work to help take care of him on two seperate occasions turing his illenss. I began to get behind on my bills and put aside paying my property taxes to try and catch up.

After a 6 months illness, dad passed away. I took another leave from work to help my mom get settled after his loss. When I went back to work, I was miserable and crabby and my performance declined dramatically. At this point I was even further behind on my bills than ever.

I made the terrible decision to borrow $40K and start a business, whichh was the beginning of the end for me. Instead of starting the business while still working full time, I got ticked off and walked out of my job. I now had no income whatsoever.

My business failed abysmally in a record-setting 3 months. My depression had plummeted to new levels of lows and I could hardly function. I went on welfare.

It took me another six months to pull myself out of the horrible depression I was in. During that time, I realized I was really in trouble and put my house on the market. I got rehired at my old job, tank goodness, and now had an income coming in again.

But it was all too late to save my financial situation. My house has been on the market since May but hasn't sold. I gave back my leased vehicle and bought a cheap $1000 vehicle to get back in forth to work. The whole world seems to be taking collection actions against me and I owe over $170,000. I bring home just over 2400 a month and have left my house - I don't want to be "escorted out" by the sheriff when the bank forecloses.

So, that's my story. Right now, I'm living like a criminal, as off the grid as possible so the bill collectors don't find me again. The bill collectors - they are like terrorists - scary threats and complete humilation is their stock in trade. Don't even get me started...... I also feel like a criminal because all of that money was money I promised to pay back. Life sure doesn't turn out how you plan.

 

[thesightofoneself]

sorry to hear about all your trouble. i hope fv can help you find your way :hugz:

 

[MissSeetonFan]

Good luck with it all. Sounds like you've had a bum deal!

Even if you declare bankruptcy, you will probably still be dealing with the creditors to some extent. Does Canada have the similar laws on debt collections that the US does? Harassment and humiliation shouldn't be allowed. Dave Ramsey recommends that when debt collectors call and act like that, you quote the law back to them and if they still act like that you tell them straight up, "I'll talk to you when you are polite" and then hang up. Also demand everything in writing by certified mail. If they know you are serious about documenting things including their treatment of you, then they may clean up their act a bit.

 

[rskmom]

(((hugs))))

 

[McD]

Glad you are back Daisygirl. We missed you around here and I thought about you and your girls often.

No good words of advice, just glad you are back.

 

[joyofsix]

I've wondered about you lots of times. Sorry things have been so bad :hugz:

 

[mamachop]

I hope things turn around for you soon! Until then, sending hugs & prayers your way!

 

[auntie2many]

You have been missed here on FV. Here is a (((hug))) for you and your two beautiful children. I will say a prayer for you tonight before bedtime.

A2M

 

[Daisygirl]

Thank you for the warm welcome back!

I'm doing better in a lot of ways - it's time to pull myself together and get back on my feet. I've done it before and I can do it again. This is just the tough part - the "giving up."

 

[{Jenny}]

So sorry to hear all that you have been thru. My best wishes to you.

 

[onencgirl]

Hang in there sweetie.

 

[Mom23boys]

I'm doing better in a lot of ways - it's time to pull myself together and get back on my feet. I've done it before and I can do it again.

Yes you can! You are a strong woman that has been able to get out of a bad situation before and will get out of this bad situation as well. :hugz:

 

[dcompton]

Oh, Daisygirl, I am so sorry. I've missed you here and have often wondered how you and the girls were getting on. It's distressing to hear you have had such a nightmare of a time.

It seems that when troubles start, they come in heaps. All I can say is ... one day at a time. You will get through this, as horrible as it is right now.

 

[Palooka]

Sorry to hear and I hope everything works out.

 

[frugalfranny]

Sorry to hear this.......I hope things work out soon for you so you can start getting back on track.

Sending hugs to you during this stressful time.

 

[sueh]

Hope things get better for you.

You are not alone. I am a single mom of 2 young girls, I was doing well financially until I lost my job in Oct 09. It was closed down. I was out of work until Sept 10 and my ex lost his job so I was not getting any c/s. Well you see I am way behind in my bills. The phone won't stop ringing and it's hard because I want to pay my bills I know that I created them but I just don't have the $$ to do so.
Right now I am holding my breath because I am not sure that I have enough $$ to cover my rent check for December. Yup December (month is almost over). I also have to pay for my childcare as well.
I am sick to my stomach thinking about my bills.

I will be looking into banruptcy as I just feel like I am so behind and there is no where for me to go.

I wish you luck and take care!

 

[Jamielane]

Welcome back and I hope things improve in 2011 for you and your girls.

 

[nodmicks]

Daisygirl I am glad to see you back here! I know you can do this! big hugs and I'll be cheering for you.

 

[Daisygirl]

I read your kind letters and saw all the hugs and it brought me to tears. I keep most of this to myself - the money issues and all - and it is so wonderful to receive this non-judgemental kindness.

I think a lot of my problem is feeling guilty. I really want to pay my debts but can't do that and keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I'm not a frivolous spender - I'm pretty darn thrifty, but I want to be able to let the kids do an activity each and I have cut back on so many things.

As for the bill collectors, it's just horrible, or it was when they could find me. I was getting 30+ calls every day, coming home to 17 messages sometimes, from people wanting money. I was getting emails, and even had a creditor come to the door. I felt like I was under siege. I have anxiety and depression issues and it got to the point where I just wanted to cower in my house with the phone off the hook.

So, I moved. Several reasons why - 1.) I don't want to be harrassed. 2.) I don't want to be "escorted" from my home when they foreclose 3.) I found a nice apartment with all utilites paid at a decent price that is only 5 blocks from work. My phone number is unlisted and very few people have it - the ones that do would never, ever give it out. A couple fo creditors found me at work. They call relentlessly if I hang up so it is less embarrassing to just keep saying, "mmhmm, mmmhhmm, yep, that would be great if i could do that." They will stay on the phone for half an hour and then get ticked and hang up on me. At least it's only two places that know my workplace.

I really feel like the bill collectors are like terrorists. They just barely stay on the legal side of the line and the ones I talk to really seem to enjoy making one feel terrible.

I also returned my leased vehicle a year early and got an old car. Its been reliable so far and I only have $900 to go before it's paid for.

My game plan is this: get rid of the house - give it back to the bank - then I can stop paying homeowner's insurance and electric and gas there - that will give me some extra every month so I can build an emergency fund again.

Sueh - my heart goes out to you - the bill collectors are relentless. Keep your chin up!

 

[HappyMama]

Daisy Girl,

I am so glad you are back, I wondered how you and the girls have been doing. Sorry to hear about your troubles, you are a strong woman keep your chin up and you can do it.

Hugs and Blessings to you!