[papayAsassin]

I don't even know where to begin. I'm afraid this has turned out to be a four year mistake. I never wanted my children to have divorced parents because mine were and it almost ruined me. Why didn't I listen to my gut 4 years ago?!

 

[pollypurebred39]

:hugz: I'm sorry.

 

[mauimagic]

Don't know what to say - sad realization and what are your next steps? Keep us posted.

 

[HappyMama]

I am sorry, sending you hugs. :hugz:

 

[madhen]

If it comes down to it, your children will be happier in a life in which their parents are happy, but living apart, than they will be in a home where their parents are stressed and unhappy, but together.

I got out of a relationship that I knew was a mistake, many years ago, and I am deliriously happy compared to how I felt when I was in it. Like you said, your gut knows best. Listen to it.

 

[Palooka]

So sorry you are going through this. I hope everything works out for your family.

 

[MrsOptimistic]

:hugz: I'm sorry.

 

[papayAsassin]

Thanks, everyone. I'm heartbroken. I tried really hard. I actually really do love him. Maybe I just love who I thought he was. This is horrible.

I think we are going to separate. We have issues - him more than I, though. But I will at least give him and our daughter the chance his ex never gave him. We will try to save this family. In time, maybe, we can.

I'm not really a Dr. Phil fan, but I agree with one thing I heard him say once - something along the lines of doing all the work before having the right to get divorced, or something like that. I think that when you have kids, divorce should always be THE last resort.

I am so mad at being in this position.

 

[Dixie]

I think that when you have kids, divorce should always be THE last resort.

I agree. :hugz:

 

[The Muse]

I know about how you feel and I'm sorry that anyone else has to go through that. I was divorced last year, I still love him and it rips my heart out everyday that things went so horribly wrong.

We fortunately didn't have any kids, I'm grateful for that.

 

[fernykins]

I've been married 25 years, and he left 7 years ago. He didn't want a very sick wife. I'm better now, but hes not welcome back. I am so much more happier. I'm sorry you have to go thru this. His only son died a year ago without talking to him in 6 years....... Do whats best for you and your children.
Fern

 

[Imarachne]

I'm sooo sorry--I was divorced and its a whole other thing.

 

[frugalfranny]

Why didn't I listen to my gut 4 years ago?!

???Because love can not only be blind........it can be deaf too???


Have you tried talking? I mean, COMMUNICATING!

Sorry it isn't working out.......do what you feel is best for you and your family...and good luck in whatever choice you make!

 

[Ramona]

It's never too late to do what you know is right. Hugs.

 

[Momto5RN]

i am not sure if i am missing some secret code or something but i am a bit lost .

he is on the couch -...... alseep- watching TV playing video games ??
is he depressed- just not meeting your expectations of what you think a marraige should be ? just doesnt care ?

we dont make a big deal about anniversaries around here -
probably because i was hugely pregnant with our oldest on our first anniversary and didnt want to go out and be stared at like i was some alien creature ( i was huge and i am short lol )

we have been married almost 24 years with many ups and downs and maybe have gone out to dinner for anniversaries - rarely on the actual date and sometimes with our kids - we have never gone on a weekend away etc because i wouldnt leave the kids with anyone to go away more than one night overnight -

does he know you feel this way ? if not tell him
if he does know he may not believe you will act on it .

so sorry you are feeling this way .

 

[papayAsassin]

We are going in for an assessment on Friday morning. There is a great mental health place here and it's income based; I think we will pay nothing or almost nothing.

I stumbled onto the concept of Adult ADD, and to say that a light bulb went on would be the understatement of the century. I KNOW, after all my voracious reading, that I have it, no doubt about it. I believe my husband does, too. A friend was recently diagnosed, and if it wasn't for her, I would never have learned anything about it. ADD has destroyed many, many marriages, especially if it goes unnoticed and undiagnosed.

We are going in during Walk-In hours, as they're booked up, so please pray for us. We need to get in, get "tested", and meet the right professional.

One thing that has changed since I found out more about this, is I am 100% more tolerant with my DH, because I realized I do the same exasperating things as he does; I just do some of them differently.

Thank you, everyone, for your encouragement before.

 

[Dixie]

I said a prayer for you and your dh. :hugz:

 

[Dancing Lotus]

Best wishes, I hope you get the help you need and are able to fix things.