[Maggie3180]

I have never had a good relationship with the ex wife. She prevented us from being a part of 2 children's lives until they were old enough to reach out to us.
My husband has wanted us to be one big happy family.
But doesn't put the same effort into our children as he does for his older ones.
I have been to wedding showers, weddings, baby shower, birthdays etc to keep the peace.
My current situation is. My mother in law passed away. We are going to our home town for the service. I really don't want the ex to show up.
Any advice?

 

[Contrary Housewife]

I don't have any good answers, but I have been there. My husband's ex kept the kids from him until they were adults and his daughter still does not speak to us because god knows what her mother told her. We have a relationship with his son because he reached out to us -- believing initially that we did not care or want anything to do with him.

DH's ex did not attend MIL's or FIL's service. She wanted nothing from DH's family but money, certainly did not want to play happy families.

Have you talked with him and told him how you feel? And... not to get you into an anxiety spiral.... have you thought about what you will do or say if she shows up. If I think I'm going to be uncomfortable due to certain people and want to leave early I usually tell DH before we go that I "might develop a headache" and that's his cue to say goodbyes.

 

[Maggie3180]

I don't have any good answers, but I have been there. My husband's ex kept the kids from him until they were adults and his daughter still does not speak to us because god knows what her mother told her. We have a relationship with his son because he reached out to us -- believing initially that we did not care or want anything to do with him.

DH's ex did not attend MIL's or FIL's service. She wanted nothing from DH's family but money, certainly did not want to play happy families.

Have you talked with him and told him how you feel? And... not to get you into an anxiety spiral.... have you thought about what you will do or say if she shows up. If I think I'm going to be uncomfortable due to certain people and want to leave early I usually tell DH before we go that I "might develop a headache" and that's his cue to say goodbyes.

Thank you for reaching out.
I don't think in this situation leaving would be appropriate.
I haven't talked to hubby yet. I have a little time to address it with him.