[Jaded]

of the goals I had in my life. I did manage to buy a house, finish two associate degrees, and am hanging on by the skin of my teeth, but everything else has just fallen to ashes. I never thought I'd have to raise children alone. Even when I was doing it, I thought I'd find someone to marry and grow old with, but I never did. Now I've just stopped looking.

I've started over so many times, it seems pointless sometimes to start over again. I want to just give up, sometimes, just let life take me where it will, but something in me keep fighting for better.

It seems I'm constantly in survival mode. It's just discouraging sometimes, even though I'm better off than some. Well, not better off materially, but better off in that I don't have a ton of CC debt, and owe less than $50,000 on my house.

So I try to count my blessings, but it's hard sometimes, you know? Anyone ever get so discouraged, they just wanna give up and give in?

 

[changed4life]

I think most of us feel we've been where you have been.:smhelp:

Just don't give up, trim the fat where you can and stay close to your frugal friends!:grouphug:

 

[Mom23boys]

Hang in there! Your life is going to get better. Just don't give up!!

Look what you have accomplished...2 associates degrees. I am trying to finish my first one. Another positive..... you have a house and no CC debt!

:hug2:

 

[ilovechocolate]

You are really doing pretty well. When I get discouraged, I think back to my life the past few days and realize I haven't been getting enough sleep or I've been eating lots of junk and not getting enough water, etc. My physical condition has a lot to do with my mental condition.

 

[missyali]

Great things happen when you lest expect it. I'm sorry that you're blue! :hug: Your turn is coming, we just don't have control of when. I wish I could help! Hang in there!

 

[ravenmaniac]

I 'm 38 years and thought my husband I would be much better off financially. It seems when we get caught up or start to put money away something happens or we sabatoge ourselves and we're struggling again. I want to just shove all the bills in a drawer and ignore them. But that won't solve anything. I keep going on and the same pattern repeats itself. I'm tired and frustrated. That's why I joined FV. I'm trying to find support and stay motived to make the changes needed to be successful. I want to feel good about what I have. I'm tired of feeling like I need to have a life that is like the "Jones's". If what I do or have doesn't neatly fit into their way of thinking or living too bad. As long as I feel good about my life that's all that matters. FV has really helped in the short time I've been a member. I'm sure I'll have ups and downs but I'm determined to hang in there. Enjoy what you have and be proud of what you have accomplished. Don't give up!

 

[autumnlynn]

I'm raising two kids by myself; so yes, I do feel like giving up sometimes, but I just have too much fight left in me, so I keep plugging on. Add to that my health issues I've had to deal with, my plate has been really full so I understand how you feel.

We just have to keep going, enjoy the fellowship of ladies like these on this board and do the best we can.

 

[Its_Donna]

I used to feel like giving up; I was a single parent for 7 years and those were tough times. It always seemed that I would get one step ahead and then go 2 steps back. I stopped looking for companionship and then *poof*....my DH appeared.

I have watched my mom slowly succumb to demetia and Alzheimer's over the past couple years so that has really changed my outlook on life. These days I am content with the few material objects we have (and we have more than most), I am happy with a simple life, I have taken myself out of the rat race, I no longer yearn for bigger and better. I am content to shop at second hand stores and discount grocery marts, I no longer feel the need to "participate" in group activities, office parties, etc. We now live for us....for a dream of being debt free and totally happy and content. No Stress and No Worries. Stress and Worries is what is killing my mom...IMHO.

Don't get discouraged. You are debt free and owe very little compared to others on your house, your children are growing up healthy and happy and learning to appreciate the most important things in life. I bet they aren't picky or spoiled either. It seems so many children are spoiled and picky these days due to our overabundant and self-serving society...another IMHO.

Keep on track and remember that you are not alone in your thoughts or feelings! :hugz:

 

[Brat]

We all feel down some times and I for one would like to screem at the person that says pick your self up dust your self off and start all over again..I want to say have you ever been here...lol...but then I just stop and think that I have more than most. It don't always feel like it but each day brings something good to us all. It may not pay the bills, keep the utilities on, or buy that thing that we think we can't live without but those who give there best to themself always comes out ahead...

Hang in there, keep the faith, and the sun will shine on you again soon..Even if it don't seem like it today...

 

[peanut]

(sigh). I think this feeling is universal among people for different reasons. I was never a single mom, but I've had to struggle with a chronic health problem and side effects from medication that were really debilitating. It is so tempting to just give up some days and lay around on the couch. But that doesn't improve my situation any. If I'm going to be alive, I'm going to live. Enough of this feeling sorry for myself crap.

My reaction to that attitude now is to check when the last time was I got outside for a good walk. Usually that's the problem. I go for a good half hour to an hour walk, with my change purse, if I have enough money for tea. Otherwise I just go walking to a nearby nature area and take photos, or write, draw, or read, or just slow down and enjoy the scenery. I just have to get out of the house a bit.

Winter is especially bad for me. Fall is okay, but I feel rushed, trying to fit everything in before winter. Winter is just blah on the prairies. Too cold to do much of anything outdoors...I head to the city gym then. For $5 I can use the facilities as long as I want.

I also visit friends when I feel blah, or get out to a program at the library. Both of those are free. Just a change of scenery in general. I don't feel near so poor or deprived when I get home.

But there are times that I get extremely frustrated with finances. Usually as they pertain to DH and his see-saw attitude about money. I am currently out of grocery money for the next two weeks. We have no pork in the house. I like to rotate my protein sources.

No way will we have enough food to get by till mid-month. I am counting the days...and devising cheap menu plans...and planning where to pilfer the money from to make up the shortfall. Food prices have escalated horribly here. I'm going to be doing more comparison shopping before buying.

So, yeah, I get discouraged, but when I feel that way, it's a signal I need to get galvanized into action and do something new and creative about my situation.

Big {{{{Hugs}}}} to you and I sure hope you get over it soon. It's no fun being depressed or worn out about our situation in life.

Jean

 

[Jaded]

I know I need to make major changes, and that's one reason I love it here. I get so inspired by everyone's stories of how they've turned their lives around, or found a new way to conserve or save.

My only real goal right now is to do well at my job. I'm facing obstacles there, but I just go in and do my job to the best of my ability and then go home, exhausted by the petty crap and ready to give up. Then I get up and do it all again tomorrow.

As far as money goes, I doubt I'll ever be in a position to do anything more than just survive. It's been that way for so long, and I've squandered away literally 10's of thousands of dollars that could have done so much for me in my life, that I just feel like I'm looking up to see the bottom, and the rungs to the ladder back to solid ground are all broken.

I know what you mean about scrapping and saving, just to have someone go and blow all your hard work to hell. My last ex put us in financial difficulties a few times before I put my foot down and took ALL the money away from him. He said I emasculated him, but he was BANKRUPTING us, and I'm sorry, but I feel like that's worse.

 

[gentledenny]

little late

Jaded. i have read a few of your post and recall , the house you are in now is worth three times what the orginal buying price was. So your plan to sell and move to south ga will be pretty much debt free, unless your next house is going to be huge. I know a little of South Ga. Tifton area and homes and land there is pretty cheap, kinda wet, and flat. Everyone has ponds cause if you dig more than a 3 foot hole, it will fill up with water. but i love to go visit there and see everyone has thier little pond like a oasis in thier front or back yard. Of course when it rains they all join to be one big lake. Maybe not such a good thing but hopefully the neighbors catfish will move to your pond. I just wanted to chime in, that although you struggle day to day. Your future plans sounds positive and upbeat. ANd looks like could be a great move. SO good vibes your way and keep plugging and hope for futher medical innovations that can help with the fibro and other ailments. You sound like a strong woman.

 

[gentledenny]

goals, No met but satisfied how i was indirectly able to help my kids

My goals 30 years ago were to retire from the army. buy one of them big bus campers and just travel til i got sick of it. OF course, i was alone in my goals. My health interrupted a lot of my gaining wealth years i was counting on. However. The fact that being disabled thru the ARMY, gave me VA benifits that Passed over to my kids. Due to this. My 3 daughters all have at least 4 years of college. my youngest my son, is in his second year of college. the Va paid for thier college in full, gave them money to live off , basically a 1000 a month each month full time. for 36 months of schooling. Two of my daugthers after graduateing from Auburn University went on for additional schooling. My Shining honor is my middle daughter (the one i sprayed with the lotion in horror) went to NOVA south eastern college in Davie florida and is DO. Some kind of doctor. and then my youngest daughter is currently there but she just doing a 2 year program in anesthilogist. (nope i cant spell it). Other daughter needs to finish a internship for her teaching degree. and my son. well he just going to community so he can get the cash. I dont really expect him to graduate. I hope he will get a 2 year business degree , then switch to a mechanic school, that seems to be his passion.

 

[Libby]

Jaded?

Jaded - how are you feeling now? Any better?

Its incredible how resilient we all are and able to pull through many things in life simply b/c we are in 'survival' mode. YOU WILL GET THERE....just be patient and keep plodding along. We're all here for you if you need to talk.

:hug2:

 

[Edna_E]

You've been on my mind too (which seems to be about all of me that is available to help lately). Hope all is well with you - you'll laugh but I catch myself praying for your car to hold up!

I have not had the life I planned either, but I have accomplished things I would not have even thought of when I was young, so I think it weighs in on the positive side. Hope the same is true for you - give credit for those unplanned accomplishments!