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Hi Im the one who is a former HS'er and have had to make education decisions mostly for my Aspie son.

Well now my middle school daughter is asking to go back to homeschooling...
Shes asked before but now seems adament.
Anyone been through this?

Shes exactly what public schools love.
She gobbles up everything they give her, makes a 100 and asks for more.
Shes very well behaved and helpful.

The only thing thats changed is her group of friends since K have all decided they want to be "popular" and shes been left out for about 1.5 years now.
She luckily has 2 best friends that are not that way.
All 3 girls only PS to be with each other.
I suspect Im the only mom in the position to actually HS though.

Is this one of those times where I realize that PS life has squashed my daughters self esteem and step in now, before its too late?
or is this the time to push and tell her life stinks sometimes and muddle through it?

She seems quite adamant about homeschoolng where In the past I was the one asking and she kept saying "maybe some day again"....

To me there is a life long consequence to squashing ones spirit.
I realize othets will say this is just normal part of school life.
But we know bullying is detrimental....that used to be called normal part of schol life too?
 

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No advice--my kids are little. Good luck with whatever you decide!
 

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Bullying and being left out of the in-crowd are 2 different things. If she is actually being bullied I would talk to teachers and school administration, most schools do have a no bullying policy. If the bullying persisted I can honestly say I would consider pressing charges and then homeschooling my child.

If it is about popularity, in my opinion I would have this be one of lifes lessons. I have an 8th grader, and at 14 she doesn't always like to hear mom's stories from when I was her age. I know as a teen today she is faced with issues I wasn't, but the dynamics of schools are still the same. Friends change from elementary school to middle school and then again from middle to high school. The girls that are popular now, not all of them will be when they go to high school.
We used to homeschool our children, the 3 older ones were put in public school when I was 9 weeks pregnant with our 4th child. They were put in school because at that time I was put on bedrest, making it hard for me to homeschool a 4th grader and 2 kindergarteners. After I delivered a healthy baby the kids were offered the chance to bring school back home and they said no. If they were to ask to come back home now the first reason I would look at is academics, as for socialization the biggest factor would be if they felt they weren't safe at school. Your daughter is getting close to having tougher subjects to learn, if you aren't comfortable teaching those to her but feel she has self-esteem issues I would look for ways to improve her self-esteem that doesn't involve pulling her out of school.
 

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Middle school is a time of quickly changing emotions. Since it's now February and part way thru the semester, you might ask her to wait it out this year and you can make a decision over the summer. That would give time to let the emotions settle out a bit. During this time you might ask her to make a "Top 10" list of why homeschooling would be better, and a list of why public school would be better. You might ask her to make out a schedule and objectives for homeschooling. What does she expect to learn and how will she learn it better at home? Do what you can to give her ownership and responsibility for the decision, while you actually have the last word.
 

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I have no answers but have a third grader who begs to be homeschooled. I've taken the tough it out approach. So much depends on your dd. I agree with the previous poster, maybe stick it out to summer and see what she feels like then?
 

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I have a similar problem

My daughter is in 1st grade and she is bright and loves to learn. She doesn't learn well in school because some kids pick on others, she gets her feelings hurt easily, she doesn't really have any friends and feels left out which does put a damper on her learning and self esteem.

I went to school with her one day, out of 6 1/2 hour day they actually learned about 3 hours and the rest was socialization and such.

Without friends it really does make the rest of the day hell especially at her age.

Next year we are homeschooling so she can gain confidence and learn at her full potential. I believe a child should be able to learn without having the pitiness of who likes them or will be their friends
 

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Middle school is awful--if I could pick only a couple of years to HS, middle school years would be the ones. In fact, I know a family who homeschooled both of their kids only for 7th and 8th grade. So many patterns are set in those years, and confidence is built or (more often) destroyed. Bring her home! :)
 

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My dh and I were talking just yesterday about our middle school years. We could laugh now at them but we decided there is no way that either one of us would want to re-live those times.
Now if we could go back to our college days together that would be a whole other story.... lol

Andrea
 

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Uggh, I hated middle school and the beginning of high school. I was picked on horribly, pushed down stairs, tripped, tacks in my chair, call names etc.

Twenty some odd years later I still have some issues with self esteem but it is much better but I will probably never go to another reunion... I went to my ten year on and it was too fake for my tastes. You don't get to pick on me and then act like I am some long lost best bud that you actually care about.

Okay, down off my pity party now.

I would try to find out why she wants to make the change so quickly. If she is just encountering work that challenges her, I am sure that you can help her with that but if she is being bullied the sooner you can help her nip it in the bud the much better she will be.

If she truly just wants to be homeschooled and you have the time, energy, patience and resources to do that, I don't see anything wrong with that either.
 

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luvmyhubby - where were you when I was in middle school and beginning high we could have been best friends.

I am a public school teacher and I am telling you to ask her to make it through to the end of the year and if she is still adamant take her out.

I believe that every person needs a situation where they have to work it out but it sounds like your dd is a good learner and this may harm her learning process and her grades fall. That is why I say tough it out for a little while. Most districts do about 180 days of school and I believe most are around the 70 days left mark.
My own dd goes to a private school for some of the same reasons, our local public school is dreadful and I watch my neighbors two girls (same age as my daughter) fuss about school. My dd gets up puts her uniform on and is ready to go with a smile. I know I made the right choice.

You will know it in your heart, just help to support her through this time she can get through it, I am sure.
 

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I was picked all the time in school-it did not matter what grade I was in...until they started to grow up or figured I didn't care in high school. It might help also if she is in a sport or group hobby where she can interact with other kids her age interested in the same thing...and one of her other friends might be interested to.

And even if she goes back to being home schooled the sport or hobby idea will still help.
 
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