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So for the last year or so I have been questioning if I should go back to school. I am almost done with a AA, which I know wont help me in the least, so I thought I would go on and get my BA after. My problem is I don't know why I want to do this. I feel like I have no interest in college but I feel like society is forcing me to go back. Everyone I know has a degree or is going to college. I read forums and it seems like people think all sahm's should have a degree, like we will never make it without one or something. So I worry that if I don't get one I am screwing myself. I do worry about what I would do if heaven forbide I lost my spouse. I have worked in retail before and cleaning homes. I could never support myself alone on retail wages. My husband says we don't really have the money for college now anyway and I should just relax and be a sahm. I like being a sahm but I also would like something to do part time. I guess I just feel like I am failing because I don't have a degree or aspirations for one really. I have no clue what I want to be. Is it okay to be a sahm and not have a degree or a =good job to return too someday? What can I do to make myself feel more secure as a sahm?
 

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If you HAD to work, what would you want to do? Or if you want to work later, what do you want to do? If you need a degree for either your dream job, or your " have to" job, maybe you should work that into your long range plans. I had an opportunity to finish my degree for free, back in my early thirties, when the kids were little. My then husband was not supportive, could not be home with the kids , etc... I never got my degree. Sometimes I wish I would have. I had a really good job in management & after a certain # of years experience, the degree would not have increased my wages.
Don't let people make you feel you have to do anything, if it's not what you want or need.
 

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I first want to say kudos to you for being in school now! If I may ask, what are you studying?
I am currently a student..only one more semester then I am transferring for my bachelor's degree. I have been working at this since 2005. Everyone must make their own choice and you cannot let someone else make the choice for you. My choice was made because what I have seen at the company I work at is people who are mid-fifties taking voluntary buyouts and many of them do not have degrees. They have tons of experience, but no degree. If they applied at another company they are competing with college grads that have no exp. I do feel that experience is valuable, but sometimes you cannot get your foot in the door without a degree. I told myself that I do not want to be that way and have the decision made for me by the company. Currently I am supporting my household, working full-time and going to school part-time and my husband is going to school full-time because the industry he was in is no longer sustainable. To be honest, I want to be able to sustain my family if my hubs were disabled or worse. I want to give up all the time, but then I think to myself "Will I be kicking myself in a$$ when I am 40?"
I am a firm believer that you have to do what makes you happy. There are tons of reasons for going to school and there are tons of reasons not to go. Good luck!
 

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I'm a sahm as of 3-yrs ago..I don't have a degree~ I was a (CNA) Certified Nursing Assistant ( on and off) for over 27-yrs..I have never had a desire for a degree simply because I don't like school! I made more money( I worked in Conn) than a LPN working in my County in NY..So depending on what you want to do for a career sometimes you have to weigh in the cost of a degree verses a job without a degree..I didn't pay for my certification and can find a job anywhere in my field..Now ie..LPN's & RN's in my area are having trouble finding jobs or getting laid off..Good Luck with your decision...
 

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Maybe you should aim for a profession and not just a degree. It is hard to visualise a job you are aiming for with a BA, but if you change that into a teaching degree, for example, this may make it easier to work towards. If you want to feel more secure with work, do some research on jobs that are being offered and see what the requirements are for the jobs that you like. Another way to feel secure is to study investments. You can do this for free and learn about the different ways, and the best ways of investing. This may expand your view on how much money you want in the future too.
 
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First, it sounds like you really like being a SAHM, so you're right where you want to be now. I sensed some fear in your post that you could not make it if something happened to your husband. Does he have adequate life insurance and disability insurance? That would be my first step to assure you WOULD make it. Term life is not expensive, especially if he is healthy. Pass up on whole or universal. If his job doesn't offer disability insurance, he should also look into that as well. SS Disability sometimes takes quite a while to get and it is not sufficient to support a family, in most cases. That would be step 1.

You shouldn't feel like you need a degree to please others. Plus, getting a degree just for the sake of having a piece of paper can be a waste of money. Think about when your kids are out of the nest what you'd like to be doing. Does it require a degree or a few courses? For example, photography can be learned without getting a degree as can other vocations. Another example is selling real estate. It doesn't require a degree and you can get your license in a few months. If you really want some type of career as a back up plan, I suggest you go to your local community college and talk to some academic advisors, take placement and interest tests if they have a career center. You already know what college is because you've taken the lower-division core courses for an AA degree. If you do go back to college, choose something that you like doing and take a course in it to make sure. It also helps to talk with people doing what you think you might like doing.

Most importantly, being a SAHM is a job and it might be that you will get the most satisfaction being a SAHW when your kids are grown. There's always volunteer work and grandbabies but please make sure your husband has adequate life and disability insurance to protect you. You should also have life insurance because your worth to him is just as important.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
My husband is self employed and he is a painter, I worry about him falling off a roof or something when he paints. Being self employed we don't have anything really. We are really slacking on things. I push him to get life insurance but he seems to be blasé about it. This is why I sometimes feel I better do something to make our lives better, like get a degree. He was supposed to call some life insurance places last week but as usual it fell on the way side again. I am going to talk to him about it again and really make surer he understands why we need it. One question, and I know you can't really advise me too much on this, but what do most people carry in life insurance. I am a frugal girl and can live off little, so I am wondering how low we can go?
First, it sounds like you really like being a SAHM, so you're right where you want to be now. I sensed some fear in your post that you could not make it if something happened to your husband. Does he have adequate life insurance and disability insurance? That would be my first step to assure you WOULD make it. Term life is not expensive, especially if he is healthy. Pass up on whole or universal. If his job doesn't offer disability insurance, he should also look into that as well. SS Disability sometimes takes quite a while to get and it is not sufficient to support a family, in most cases. That would be step 1.

You shouldn't feel like you need a degree to please others. Plus, getting a degree just for the sake of having a piece of paper can be a waste of money. Think about when your kids are out of the nest what you'd like to be doing. Does it require a degree or a few courses? For example, photography can be learned without getting a degree as can other vocations. Another example is selling real estate. It doesn't require a degree and you can get your license in a few months. If you really want some type of career as a back up plan, I suggest you go to your local community college and talk to some academic advisors, take placement and interest tests if they have a career center. You already know what college is because you've taken the lower-division core courses for an AA degree. If you do go back to college, choose something that you like doing and take a course in it to make sure. It also helps to talk with people doing what you think you might like doing.

Most importantly, being a SAHM is a job and it might be that you will get the most satisfaction being a SAHW when your kids are grown. There's always volunteer work and grandbabies but please make sure your husband has adequate life and disability insurance to protect you. You should also have life insurance because your worth to him is just as important.
 

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As for the what do I want to be??? I don't have a clue. I truthfully don't have a calling. I like being a sahm really, I mean yes I get bored sometimes but I like this, I just hate worrying about the what ifs living on a one person income. I am super frugal so I don't need to work. We make due fine on my husbands pay and it isn't that much either! I thought about two year programs such as RN but I know I would hate that, then I thought about Occupational or physical therapy assistant. I think could do it but would I like it? I am not sure. I am shy and talking to people that much so hands on scares me, lol. I truthfully enjoyed doing retail as crazy as that sounds. But it pays peanuts and what could I really make outta myself in retail? I know this might sound like an excuse too but I suck at math, I am terrible. I just have a mental block with the stuff. I am great at other subjects but in college you have to take a ton of math no matter the degree. That always holds me back too. So I lean towards the two year degrees but I don't see anything that screams you should be this or that. Maybe I a destined to working in retail. Is that sad?
 

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It is not sad to work retail, as long as you like it & it works for you & your family.
When we bought our house I got accident insurance thru my credit union. I know disease is always lurking out there, but I am super healthy & I thought it would be more likely that I would have some kind of accident to hurt or kill me. I just wanted to have something so my husband would not have to sell the house if I no longer brought in a paycheck. We have since paid off the house, but I still have the insurance, $100,000.00 for about $11.00 per month.
 

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As for the what do I want to be??? I don't have a clue. I truthfully don't have a calling. I like being a sahm really, I mean yes I get bored sometimes but I like this, I just hate worrying about the what ifs living on a one person income. I am super frugal so I don't need to work. We make due fine on my husbands pay and it isn't that much either! I thought about two year programs such as RN but I know I would hate that, then I thought about Occupational or physical therapy assistant. I think could do it but would I like it? I am not sure. I am shy and talking to people that much so hands on scares me, lol. I truthfully enjoyed doing retail as crazy as that sounds. But it pays peanuts and what could I really make outta myself in retail? I know this might sound like an excuse too but I suck at math, I am terrible. I just have a mental block with the stuff. I am great at other subjects but in college you have to take a ton of math no matter the degree. That always holds me back too. So I lean towards the two year degrees but I don't see anything that screams you should be this or that. Maybe I a destined to working in retail. Is that sad?
You could do alot of things in retail! First...you are gaining experience - customer service skills, sales skills, problem solving skills, networking opportunities. If you like retail - why not look at a supervisory or management role? If you do not want those, what about a commission position where you have the potential to make more $$$ if necessary?Honestly, if you want to be SAHM - do it now while you have the opportunity. Things always fall into place.
 

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Thank you all so much. I don't feel so bad after reading all these responses. I think I will just stick with retail (if and when) I do go back to work. I might also finish my AA just so it makes me feel better about myself, maybe do some classes like excel and such so maybe I can do an office job or something too. Thank u!
 

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Your me 30 yrs. ago. Please get the life ins. while your young and its cheaper. We got $1,000,000 on him and $100,000 on me to cover and disabilities as was stated earlier. You are balancing on the head of a pin depending on 1 income stream and self employed no less.
I have an assoc. degree in business I never used except to get retail jobs in mgt. You can support yourself off of it sometimes but not lucretively for sure.
I stayed home for 30 yrs. w/ very few jobs in between and there is extreme prejudice against it out there. Keep your hand in something. Got any skill for at home jobs like selling on Etsy. Maybe take a class or 2 here and there. You dont want to get out moded on the computer skills and such.
Even volunteer work should be documented for your resume.
And make sure Dhs voice isnt coming form insecurity. My Dh like me not advancing.
 

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I am sure you have a lot of skills you don't think you have to help you when you do deside to have to take a job out side the home..Retail really gives you a lot of practial..SAHM is really a full time job..You have siklls in management of time, Makeing things with small amount of money is really a skill..doing many things at once..It all adds up..The degrees don't teach the things that you learn at home..You can make it on your own if you have to..Your husband and children are all getting a lot from your skills..Dont cut yourself short because you don't have a degree..If later in life you want to go back to school you can..Right now your family is the most importiant thing you can do..
 

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I agree with frugalwarrior2. Do something, and document it. It doesn't need to be very much, just something that doesn't leave you with an empty CV. Volunteering can be a good way to build marketable skills, and if you don't enjoy it you can leave without getting in financial problems. Maybe you even find something you enjoy so much you will want to do it full time in later on in life?

I have tried a few jobs you can do from home, and they are great resyme-fillers. Not a lot of money in them, not a lot of hours, but a nice extra income. The ones that are most often commented on interviews is my translation gig, and the photography income. Totally unrelated to my day job, but shows that I know languages and am able/willing to learn new skills.
 

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My husband is self employed and he is a painter, I worry about him falling off a roof or something when he paints. Being self employed we don't have anything really. We are really slacking on things. I push him to get life insurance but he seems to be blasé about it. This is why I sometimes feel I better do something to make our lives better, like get a degree. He was supposed to call some life insurance places last week but as usual it fell on the way side again. I am going to talk to him about it again and really make surer he understands why we need it. One question, and I know you can't really advise me too much on this, but what do most people carry in life insurance. I am a frugal girl and can live off little, so I am wondering how low we can go?
It depends on how many children you have and their age. Some planners say ten times what you make, some say more, depending on what other income streams you will have. There are so many factors like do you have debt to pay off, do you own your home clear of debt, how much will it take to support the family for X number of years. It sounds like maybe your husband doesn't like to face an unknown financial future? Get more than one quote. Do NOT let an agent talk you into anything other than term insurance. It is the cheapest and exactly what you need.
 

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Thanks again. I do sell on ebay and I make about 50 a week doing that. I put that into my own checking account. I know i will finish my AA I just wish I knew what to do after that. I have thought about volunteering at the local hospital but they want me to get a TB test and all this stuff, but I am still thinking about doing it and then maybe I can figure out what I want to really do... Now one more question, sorry, do you get the disability through life insurance?
 

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Thanks again. I do sell on ebay and I make about 50 a week doing that. I put that into my own checking account. I know i will finish my AA I just wish I knew what to do after that. I have thought about volunteering at the local hospital but they want me to get a TB test and all this stuff, but I am still thinking about doing it and then maybe I can figure out what I want to really do... Now one more question, sorry, do you get the disability through life insurance?
Most insurance salespersons also sell disability insurance. It's a separate policy. Make sure you get estimates from several companies. You can do the online thing but they'll call you. Tell them you plan on getting several estimates before you make your decision.
 

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Your idea of volunteering at a hospital is a good one. You may actually find something there that interests you. There are all kinds of behind the scenes jobs you wouldn't think of immediately. For instance, someone manages the gift shop. Also there is food service, office workers who register, work in medical records, billing, Lots of IT applications. And, this may sound funny, but this is Frugal Village... every hospital I've worked in gives the volunteers free lunch!!!!
 

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Winkie that is good to know. Our neighbor got into the church volunteering and she just had a high school diploma. Then we sistered another church and she went there. pretty soon she worked there and was getting her business degree and i the aasistant youth leader. A position they ended making for her.
My point is just keep your hand in.
Disability we have is thru his work and I wish we had gotten a plan outside also. After taking the DR course we also moved some of our life ins. outside his work because most plans arent convertable if you have term and term is what you want.
 
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