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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Essentially the financial picture is this:

Current mortgage is 200k.

With extreme frugality (living on 30% take home pay) we could pay it down about a month before my 31rst birthday. 4.5 years away.

With more moderate frugality we could pay it off just before my 32 birthday. This doesn't leave a lot of time to conceive children. My mother conceived 4 children, miscarried 2 in 4 years of trying. There were some male fertility issues.

Am I completely nuts for wanting to pay down the mortgage first?
 

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??? why? Fertility is something that peaks and ebbs as time goes away. I had my best fertility in my late 20's until about 34 as it turns out I am a double ovulater. A house is a thing and I understand the need to have a place for baby but if you are concerned get a smaller house.
 

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If you have to ask the question, maybe you're not ready to have children. I think this is the conversation you need to have with your husband.
 

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I don't think you are nuts for willing to do it. However I do think you need to be realistic, if postponing things means the chances to have kids are less, I don't think this is the right reason. As I understand it, you would still be able to pay down the mortgage without a problem with a child, or am I wrong?

What I would do is pay down as much of the mortgage as you can (so go for the hardcore plan) and then decide when/if you would like to start trying. You only live once, you can always try to earn more money later, but you can't make children after a certain age...
 

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If you truly want children, and cannot imagine life without them, I would not put off having them because of a mortgage. There are many issues with conception as we age, also most people don't know if they have fertility issues until they start trying to conceive. For these reasons waiting, only because of a mortgage,might be a mistake. You sound like you are carving away at your mortgage a a great clip, so I don't think having children will slow you down much.
 

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Not having a mortgage would make a part of your life easier with a child. Putting things off could put you in a position where you couldn't have children. Do you want a kid? If the answer's yes, I would wait to pay off the mortgage first.

My wife and I were paying heavily towards the mortgage when we decided we wanted to have a kid. We continued paying heavily while getting pregnant, and paid off the mortgage last month. My kid comes this weekend.

The point is, you can still pay down your mortgage while you make a baby. If you beat the baby, great. If you don't, kids don't have to be super expensive in the beginning. I suggest looking for free items for babies so the first year or so doesn't cost you much. Every single thing in our nursery was either used or given to us at a baby shower. We have clothes for both sexes (since we don't know) to last until age 2. Similac gives out formula, Huggies gives out diapers. We got cloth diapers, toys, animals, books, bottles, whatever for free. You can continue paying down on the mortgage AND have a kid.
 

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ITA with what other people said about not waiting if you really want children. If your mother has known fertility issues, there are high chances you do as well.

This is coming from someone who had to pay for IVF ICSI to get pregnant. Thank goodness we started trying at a young age- 24.

At 25 we found out I'm pretty much infertile without IVF ICSI. Finding out early gave us a great chance of having medical intervention succeed. I had "young" eggs and DH had "young" sperm. If we had waited until we were in our early 30's, we may have had issues with egg/sperm quality. From the time we started trying until I became pregnant was almost 3 years!

If there is a chance you may have fertility issues, I'd start trying sooner rather than later.
 

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The longer you wait, the harder it may be to conceive. According to my OB Gyn. Women peak fertility is at 18. It starts to decline slowly after that. Until a certain age, then that decline accelerates.

If you want a family, then plan to start a family. Since there were problems with your mom, there is a chance there is the same with you. It might take 4 years to conceive.

If it were me, I'd hammer at the mortgage and try to conceive now. Regardless, 9 months from now, your mortgage will be that much smaller. My last child took us a year to conceive, I was 29. So you just never know.
 
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