I'm sorry, but a divorce is rarely ALL one person's fault. Don't let him convince you that you are the reason the marriage is having difficulty. The fact that he just threw that bombshell at you tonight, out of the blue and right before your daughter's bday, speaks volumes as to his faults as an active partner in a relationship.
I don't have any advice, but I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you well in making your daughter's day special.
The two of you probably ought to sit down with someone who handles divorces and work out the paperwork. There will likely be child support and custody issues, as well, and it is best to get an impartial third party involved in such an emotional situation.
I agree with Palooka --- he knew the divorce was coming, HE had time to prepare and stash and get his... get thee to the bank because if he gets himself to the courthouse Monday to file separation, he can freeze all the accounts AFTER HE GETS HIS CUT and then you are high and dry.
If there is enough, max out the daily allowance, since it's Sat/Sun, you won't be able to get more later and you DON'T KNOW what he has already taken/wrote checks for that hasn't posted yet.
Sucks. I know...and I do feel for you. Honestly.
It is NOT all your fault. Stop begging and pleading with him. No woman should have to beg her partner to see her as a strong, beautiful equal.
It CANNOT possibly be all your fault. It takes two to make a relationship work or not work; no matter what he says. I definately agree about getting the money this weekend. And get your own lawyer so they will be in the best interests of only you.
How'd your dd birthday party go? Hopefully great for her. So sorry you are going through this; relationships breaking up are always hard!!
If he wants the divorce, make him pay for the attorney fee to file and the whole thing. Don't you file.
Also please try to communicate as much as possible about everything through it all. It will make for a non-contested divorce and save hundreds if not thousands in lawyer/court fee's. And way healthier for a child involved.
If he doesn't want to play nice, take him for every penny in child support and that usually doesn't take a lawyer. Not sure how long you have been married, but there is alimony as well. Hope he thought it all through.
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