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Discussion Starter #3
No, he had been acting funny for a couple of weeks and finally confronted him about it and that is when he let the cat out of the bag.

Our dd's 10th birthday is Tuesday and we are having her party tomorrow and he wanted to wait until after then.
 

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I don't know what to say. I am very sorry he was so careless of your feelings. I hope, whatever happens, it works out for you and that you come out the other side of things with a happier prospect.
 

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I'm so sorry! No hints or nothing? Did he just say he wanted one or did you receive legal papers? Sorry for the questions. *hug*

Edit, just read your response.
 
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Discussion Starter #6
He had been acting funny for a few weeks, so I called him out on it and he let the cat out of the bag.

Our dd's birthday is Tuesday and we are having her party tomorrow and he planned on waiting until after.

he says it is all my fault, and it is. I just didn't listen or try hard enough. I told him over and over how sorry I was and begged for him to reconsider. :(

BTW, my dd has no clue, she is at my sister's house. Now I have to be all smiley tomorrow and not let on anything is going on so as not to ruin her day.
 

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I doubt it's all your fault. Do you think maybe he will change his mind, talk some more, sleep on it?
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I had hoped to change his mind. I begged and pleaded but he says he feels dead inside to me and that there is nothing I can do to change it.
 

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I'm sorry, but a divorce is rarely ALL one person's fault. Don't let him convince you that you are the reason the marriage is having difficulty. The fact that he just threw that bombshell at you tonight, out of the blue and right before your daughter's bday, speaks volumes as to his faults as an active partner in a relationship.

I don't have any advice, but I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you well in making your daughter's day special.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Does anyone know what I need to do to protect things?? He got a large settlement a few weeks ago and I want to make sure I get my half.
 

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The two of you probably ought to sit down with someone who handles divorces and work out the paperwork. There will likely be child support and custody issues, as well, and it is best to get an impartial third party involved in such an emotional situation.
 

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Does anyone know what I need to do to protect things?? He got a large settlement a few weeks ago and I want to make sure I get my half.
Really......is it in a joint bank account? Can you touch it now?
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Really......is it in a joint bank account? Can you touch it now?
Yes, I just checked it when I posted that. Now I am worried he will try and get it all. I am going to write out all the bills for this month and then go get my half of what is left on Monday.
 

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Yes, I just checked it when I posted that. Now I am worried he will try and get it all. I am going to write out all the bills for this month and then go get my half of what is left on Monday.
There is always the ATM machine open 24 hours. :bolt:
 

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I agree with Palooka --- he knew the divorce was coming, HE had time to prepare and stash and get his... get thee to the bank because if he gets himself to the courthouse Monday to file separation, he can freeze all the accounts AFTER HE GETS HIS CUT and then you are high and dry.

If there is enough, max out the daily allowance, since it's Sat/Sun, you won't be able to get more later and you DON'T KNOW what he has already taken/wrote checks for that hasn't posted yet.

Sucks. I know...and I do feel for you. Honestly.

It is NOT all your fault. Stop begging and pleading with him. No woman should have to beg her partner to see her as a strong, beautiful equal.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
There is always the ATM machine open 24 hours. :bolt:
Yeah, we can only get 200 a day and I already got 100 out to buy my dd things for her birthday.

I'll be sure first thing to get 200 more tomorrow or maybe I need to go now. Maybe not with my crying jags and it raining.
 

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It CANNOT possibly be all your fault. It takes two to make a relationship work or not work; no matter what he says. I definately agree about getting the money this weekend. And get your own lawyer so they will be in the best interests of only you.

How'd your dd birthday party go? Hopefully great for her. So sorry you are going through this; relationships breaking up are always hard!!
 

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If he wants the divorce, make him pay for the attorney fee to file and the whole thing. Don't you file.

Also please try to communicate as much as possible about everything through it all. It will make for a non-contested divorce and save hundreds if not thousands in lawyer/court fee's. And way healthier for a child involved. :)

If he doesn't want to play nice, take him for every penny in child support and that usually doesn't take a lawyer. Not sure how long you have been married, but there is alimony as well. Hope he thought it all through.
 
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