Joined
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203 Posts
Ok I have been over this a zillion times in mind.Do I want to air my dirty laundry here?Do I really need the villages support? Can I handle this myself?Well the answers were yes,yes,and NO!!So here I am.
Things have never been perfect in my household,are they anywhere??? But latley its been really hard.I have been slipping back into a deep depression for months.I seem to slip in and out and its tough.Well what I am going to vent about is this past Sunday,Fathers day.We went to inlaws for bbq and swimming.It was fun until we left for home.Hubby got pretty drunk.He drinks but when hes with his family its so much worse.So during the visit they discussed the passing of his Godmother in Feb. he got upset and cried.....blah blah blah......well he was mad at himself for that and took it out on me.He become beligerent and nasty and it was taking a toll on me.It was late and the kids hadschool Monday and they were still hungry.I stopped to get $$ and gas before Jack in the box for burgers.While I was in the gas station my 8 yr old got upset and said he wasn't hungry.I knew he was and asked him he began to cry and said yes.So I get my gas and head to JITB.We are in line and hubby is flapping his trap and I am getting more and more upset and I told him "today was for Fathers and youa re sucking at that right now" He then proceeded to kick my windshield....until it cracked all over the passenger side
I was FURIOUS and backed out and headed for home.Mind you in our 13 yrs together this was a regular thing in the begginning I am ashamed to admit.But here we are and things like this have been non existent for yrs.Well he then says when we get home he is leaving......well good cause i was furious.I get home........he gets out and I sped away.I went to his sisters and stayed there while BIL went to talk to hubby.Well I can keep going but my point is......we came home and avoided him.He has since apoligized to me and my kids!Something he has NEVER done. And will be replacing mywindshield but I am still so hurt.I get in my car and just feel sick. Today taking the kids to school something wierd happened.......I completly spaced out and couldn't remember where I was going and my head felt way weird. I got the kids to school and came home.I am not sure if the stress and all this is related or what.I think if I had somewhere to go I may leave.I love my DH more than anything but I am just not sure about us anymore.I am sorry its sooooooo long.I have no offline friends and really needed to talk.
Thanks all
Things have never been perfect in my household,are they anywhere??? But latley its been really hard.I have been slipping back into a deep depression for months.I seem to slip in and out and its tough.Well what I am going to vent about is this past Sunday,Fathers day.We went to inlaws for bbq and swimming.It was fun until we left for home.Hubby got pretty drunk.He drinks but when hes with his family its so much worse.So during the visit they discussed the passing of his Godmother in Feb. he got upset and cried.....blah blah blah......well he was mad at himself for that and took it out on me.He become beligerent and nasty and it was taking a toll on me.It was late and the kids hadschool Monday and they were still hungry.I stopped to get $$ and gas before Jack in the box for burgers.While I was in the gas station my 8 yr old got upset and said he wasn't hungry.I knew he was and asked him he began to cry and said yes.So I get my gas and head to JITB.We are in line and hubby is flapping his trap and I am getting more and more upset and I told him "today was for Fathers and youa re sucking at that right now" He then proceeded to kick my windshield....until it cracked all over the passenger side
Thanks all