My Background
Raised in a Home Filled with Clutter and Mess
I was born and raised in a messy house full of clutter and never had a clue about organizing & decorating. My mother is a hoarder and she had so much stuff that limit my childhood life (me and my sibblings). We never invite friends at home because of embarrassment. Mom is seldom home and always go out because she hates looking at the stuff and she never made an attempt to clean the stuff she accumulated.
My childhood bedroom is basically like a warehouse with boxes and piles of stuff stacking. I always have to tip toe walking because one wrong move then the stuff will all fall on the floor leaving a huge mess and mom would yell and get upset for days. She never made an attempt to clean the stuff and organize the stuff. She just left it there. All that clutter and mess drove my dad away and he left the house completely. It's just us and mom.
She has a small pantry in her bedroom where she put her coffee pot and some small cups but the pantry is buried under piles of papers and the worst part is that I once find a small basket full of rotten spices and roots she collects "for later use". I have no idea how long they have stayed there along with rotten slices of lemon she used for her hot lemon tea and put in the same basket "for later use". The basket is also filled with cigarette ashes and small changes (coins) she accumulated from shopping.
Mom spends time at her friend's houses or goes to the mall and always dread going home because she hates the stuff. I was always outside going with mom to her friend's house or to malls and parks. This is what I remember from my childhood years. My mom still lives in the same house with all the clutter and stuff. She always said that she will "fix the mess" but she never did.
How it's affecting me..
I never had a clue about organizing. I live alone now, in a rented room and I don't know how to arrange my own books. A friend helped me pick a book cabinet for my room and put my stuff. My room looks 60% messy + clutter and 40 % organized.
I think, subconsciously I sort of picked up the hoarding behavior and assume it as "normal". The secluded lifestyle as well. Nowadays, i am quite embarrassed with my room and sometimes refuse to accept friends coming so mostly spending time in solace. I want to change this all. It's like being in some sort of "childhood inertia" in my old bedroom without being able to invite friends.
I know that sometimes we get caught up in the patterns of the past, like I did when living with my mom. Clutter everywhere, as much as I hate it but as I look at my own room now it's full of clutter. Is it possible to change and become an organized person? How to learn it? Where to start? I want to be like one of the ladies who used to live near my mom, she has a tidy house, albeit simple and small, but so tidy and organized with no clutter in sight. Will I be able to accomplish that?
BF and me plan to get married and I am afraid that I can't handle organizing our home. I really want to change. He told me that his mom (my future MIL) is very organized. How does one learn to be organized? Is it genetic? Sorry for the silly questions, but I am always amazed at people who can be organized, because I came from a household full of clutter. I really need help.
Is there anyone here that grew up and lived in a messy cluttered home full of stuff? How does it affect you? How do you change? What makes you want to change?
Raised in a Home Filled with Clutter and Mess
I was born and raised in a messy house full of clutter and never had a clue about organizing & decorating. My mother is a hoarder and she had so much stuff that limit my childhood life (me and my sibblings). We never invite friends at home because of embarrassment. Mom is seldom home and always go out because she hates looking at the stuff and she never made an attempt to clean the stuff she accumulated.
My childhood bedroom is basically like a warehouse with boxes and piles of stuff stacking. I always have to tip toe walking because one wrong move then the stuff will all fall on the floor leaving a huge mess and mom would yell and get upset for days. She never made an attempt to clean the stuff and organize the stuff. She just left it there. All that clutter and mess drove my dad away and he left the house completely. It's just us and mom.
She has a small pantry in her bedroom where she put her coffee pot and some small cups but the pantry is buried under piles of papers and the worst part is that I once find a small basket full of rotten spices and roots she collects "for later use". I have no idea how long they have stayed there along with rotten slices of lemon she used for her hot lemon tea and put in the same basket "for later use". The basket is also filled with cigarette ashes and small changes (coins) she accumulated from shopping.
Mom spends time at her friend's houses or goes to the mall and always dread going home because she hates the stuff. I was always outside going with mom to her friend's house or to malls and parks. This is what I remember from my childhood years. My mom still lives in the same house with all the clutter and stuff. She always said that she will "fix the mess" but she never did.
How it's affecting me..
I never had a clue about organizing. I live alone now, in a rented room and I don't know how to arrange my own books. A friend helped me pick a book cabinet for my room and put my stuff. My room looks 60% messy + clutter and 40 % organized.
I think, subconsciously I sort of picked up the hoarding behavior and assume it as "normal". The secluded lifestyle as well. Nowadays, i am quite embarrassed with my room and sometimes refuse to accept friends coming so mostly spending time in solace. I want to change this all. It's like being in some sort of "childhood inertia" in my old bedroom without being able to invite friends.
I know that sometimes we get caught up in the patterns of the past, like I did when living with my mom. Clutter everywhere, as much as I hate it but as I look at my own room now it's full of clutter. Is it possible to change and become an organized person? How to learn it? Where to start? I want to be like one of the ladies who used to live near my mom, she has a tidy house, albeit simple and small, but so tidy and organized with no clutter in sight. Will I be able to accomplish that?
BF and me plan to get married and I am afraid that I can't handle organizing our home. I really want to change. He told me that his mom (my future MIL) is very organized. How does one learn to be organized? Is it genetic? Sorry for the silly questions, but I am always amazed at people who can be organized, because I came from a household full of clutter. I really need help.
Is there anyone here that grew up and lived in a messy cluttered home full of stuff? How does it affect you? How do you change? What makes you want to change?