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soooo, I thought this year I would give a gift to myself. I would work on repairing my relationship with my mother. *insert insane crazy laughter here*
OH MY STARS it is simply impossible. I just posted on Facebook that I went out to see Christmas lights with my daughter. My mom writes to me (thankfully in a personal message, not a posting) that she's disappointed I went without her as she mentioned she wanted to do it.
Um, Christmas isn't over, Mother. Sooo, unfortunately I blasted her. No, not exaggerating, I totally blasted her. So much for working on our relationship huh? I told her it had nothing to do with her, it was totally spur of the moment, and that if my Facebook postings are going to upset her that much I can block her. MEAN, I KNOW. Totally mean. One of those moments that you want an "unsend" button before the person sees it but it felt good to write it.
Thankfully, my mother apologized for taking it personally and I then apologized for blasting her instead of staying calm. I am trying, you guys, I really am, but I think this Christmas present is over my head.
I feel terrible that I made her feel bad, I'm going to invite her out for lights on, say, Thursday. She had mentioned it but we didn't set a date or anything and heck people mention stuff all the time that we don't actually do. (i.e. the infamous we should do lunch) If she turns me down for lights I've also already offered to help her bake this week and she hasn't taken me up on THAT offer either. So I feel like I'm the only one making the effort.
A friend of mine pointed out that at least she wrote to me at all to express her feelings. In the past she normally would have been hurt for DAYS on end, never telling the person why. Um, ok but I kinda screwed up that for her because she expressed her feelings and got blasted. I swear I cannot do this relationship stuff.
OH MY STARS it is simply impossible. I just posted on Facebook that I went out to see Christmas lights with my daughter. My mom writes to me (thankfully in a personal message, not a posting) that she's disappointed I went without her as she mentioned she wanted to do it.
Um, Christmas isn't over, Mother. Sooo, unfortunately I blasted her. No, not exaggerating, I totally blasted her. So much for working on our relationship huh? I told her it had nothing to do with her, it was totally spur of the moment, and that if my Facebook postings are going to upset her that much I can block her. MEAN, I KNOW. Totally mean. One of those moments that you want an "unsend" button before the person sees it but it felt good to write it.
Thankfully, my mother apologized for taking it personally and I then apologized for blasting her instead of staying calm. I am trying, you guys, I really am, but I think this Christmas present is over my head.
I feel terrible that I made her feel bad, I'm going to invite her out for lights on, say, Thursday. She had mentioned it but we didn't set a date or anything and heck people mention stuff all the time that we don't actually do. (i.e. the infamous we should do lunch) If she turns me down for lights I've also already offered to help her bake this week and she hasn't taken me up on THAT offer either. So I feel like I'm the only one making the effort.
A friend of mine pointed out that at least she wrote to me at all to express her feelings. In the past she normally would have been hurt for DAYS on end, never telling the person why. Um, ok but I kinda screwed up that for her because she expressed her feelings and got blasted. I swear I cannot do this relationship stuff.