[alotofgooddeals]

total budget is $1632 take home pay....occassionally there will be some extra as dh does a few things on the side but i wouln't dare budget anymore than $50 a month....some months are better but some months there isn't anything...we do receive help with food which is $414 a month...we also have medical...dh is not able to work due to health issues but has not filled out paperwork for disability...i think its a pride thing and one of us no matter what has to be home just in case my daughter is home sick or needs to come home from school...she has a medical condition...

$472 house payment
$374 for electricity..this includes heat....
$40 for internet(i cannot or will not let this go as this is my sanity after a long days work..)
41.19 satellite...which after this month is done is going away...we use netflix...for 8.99 and can stream... so 41.19 will be gone
$80 car insurance
$170 Student loan...this is in forbearance but have to start making payments soon...
$300 a month gas for me... I travel over 100 miles a day for work...and then if the kids need to stay after school etc...
$120 for dh's truck etc for gas....if daughter has to come home from school (medical issues). ....
phone....dh is roughly $30 a month, its a cell but we need it in case the school needs to get a whole of her... I have a cell phone but it is through safeline and is free....we have already cut out the land line...
I know that seriously it can be done but there is going to have to be some sacrifices and i personally am good at that and the kids well they live under my roof so they will deal with it...however dh is not good at sacrificing and i need some "nice ways" to discuss this with him...

We are receiving a huge income tax return and this is going to be my saving grace....roughly $5800 not sure why... guessing cause i am the only income earner and must have received a huge earned income credit...it is set to be deposited on the 28th of January....

I have not set aside anything for pet food...

two cats and two dogs...one dog eats all the stinkin time and has health issues which causes us to have to take her to the vet roughly 2-3 times a year which cost us roughly $130 a time...The other three are very healthy and only have to have rabies shots etc..however should have an animal fund just in case..
The german shephard is the dog that cost us lots of money and in reality i should let her go to another home however she deals with anxiety and is extremely attached to my son...and we call her our basket case and i know that if i give her away she will lose her mind completely...(she is naughty when we are not home...she has learned to open the door to the house and escape..so we have to make sure the door is locked...she has learned to open the fridge when we are not there and makes a huge mess...if there is flour on the sideboard she pulls it down etc...you get the picture and i am not sure that anyone else can understand her disorder and might not love her like we do...so she stays.....

I have not budgeted toiletries etc.....and i have no ef fund....so let the fun begin... looking for any help that we can get...

I have a house that i could stay in rent free until it sells...but dh is not yet willing to try and sell our home and do this so i am trying to do whatever is necessary to avoid this scenario and in reality even if we put our house on the market chances are it will not sell...

Thanks in advance...and looking for honest help..I don't get offended very easy.....

 

[Momto5RN]

i would tell dh he has one of 2 choices

move to the rent free home .

file for disability ( doesnt matter you would want one of you home for a child during the day - he cant physically work then he cant work and there are night jobs out there if he could - so being home during the day is no reason to cancel out an income in a family - my dh and i did opposite shifts for years !!) If he is eligble he should be applying now- its not an easy or fast process and when you are desperate for that income well that may well be too late .



TBH i think both is the best option but since he doesnt seem to want to do either tell him he has to choose one .

The Income the family is living on is all on your shoulders -looks like you drive a bit to and from work which is also stressful and time consuming - you dont need any more stress just because he doesnt want to do something .

As Dave Ramsey would say he needs to put on his big boy pants and do what is best for the family not what he wants to .

Sorry if i sound mean or blunt - but men leaving everything on the wives shoulders as far as finances or being financially responsible is a HUGE pet peeve of mine - .

I would definitely put 1000 of that tax return into a BEF
them maybe start some envies for things like unexpecteds - IE medical expeneses- car expenses - and then dump the rest to debt .....

Good Luck

 

[Darlene]

First thing I see is that Hubby has to fill out those forms, it takes forever to get approved and pride doesn't put food on the table.
Another it would help alot to get your withholdings changed so you get more $ every paycheck instead of Uncle Sam getting an interest free loan from you.
A lot more thoughts on the way from others.
Take good care & wishing you all well.

 

[alotofgooddeals]

Thank you....

I know the answer to my questions...but was just looking for some honest answers from other people before i put my bitchy pants on....hehe....and to be fair on his part...he can't work...he is not being lazy....he has good days and bad days...and could possibly work a day and then would be out for 4 days. He has a disorder in which his muscles are drying up...most peoples are moist but his are not and he can just turn his head and something happens and he is not functional for days...

 

[ladytoysdream]

Your husband needs to file paperwork for his disability.
Like yesterday.

I been reading gas prices are going to keep climbing. You may want to start tightening up on this now.

Who does the grocery shopping in your home ? The cooking ? Meal planning ? If the hubby can , then maybe more tweaking. Try to find some coupons to use. Scratch cooking.

Hang on to as much of your refund as you can. It should be off limits, only for emergency type things.

If you sell your current house, the other place where you can live .....could that be permanent ?

 

[MaryCarney]

Another thing I think you might look at is the drive to work. Is your job 50 miles away - or do you do some type of sales that require you to drive all those miles? Could you find something closer to home?

 

[Daisygirl]

I'm sorry to read of your situation. It's hard when things are out of your control. As a single parent, I bear all of the responsibility, but I get to make all of the decisions with no one to second guess me.

You are going to have to be the tough one here and put on your bitchy pants, like you said. Pride or not, disability will help you immensely.

Maybe there is a tactful way to say, "If you don't want all the burden to be on your wife, man up and fill out the damned paperwork." (Tact is not my strong point, so I will leave it to you to figure out the nice way to say it. )

It looks as though you are right on top of your budget. You don't want to let that $5800 slip through your fingers by topping up your income to meet the monthly payments. Use some of it as an EF, and use the rest to pay off something to get rid of a monthly payment if at all possible.

Best of luck to you!

 

[sunshine]

Approach your hubby from the standpoint of here's the situation.. . . what are your views on a plan? Here's my views on a plan? Let's see what we can do to combine plans, set a course of action.

Guys like to solve problems. . . .let him be part of the solution.

I whole heartedly agree on the disability thing (FILE NOW), and "put on his big boy pants".

 

[alotofgooddeals]

We both do the grocery shopping together..

i can't complain...supper is done when i get home...laundry is done when i get home and he does most of the cleaning. He gets the kids ready in the morning for school but i do pay the bills...he use to get upset when something wasn't paid but now he knows better...I do the best that i can and he has finally figured that out...as far as driving to work..i keep this job because i work as an ed tech 3...and this company allows me to collect unemployment in the summer if need be...working for a school district you cannot....the pay also is more than i would make at a school district...I know that by not driving as much i could actually make less per hour but this job is pretty stable...as stable as one can be in this environment...I work the academic year...will get three weeks off at the start of summer and two weeks off at the end and am able to collect unemployment. Someone from work is moving soon and i will be able to pick up their 5 extra hours per week which will give me an extra $240 to add to the budget....we did have plans on finishing sheetrocking and putting a ceiling up in a room downstairs but dh did say last night that if we are going to sell that we probably shouldn't do that....so i think he will come around eventually...and i even think myself that i have a hard time of letting go and am just looking for someone to say that we are making the right choice....thanks for letting me vent...

 

[Brat]

Just because DH files for disability don't mean that he will get it and even if he does he can still do odd jobs a little at a time. You didn't say what he does but I know that my late dh had good days and bad so was unable to hold a full time job. Let him know just because he is on disability doesn't mean that he has to give up and not do anything. I am sure that like my dh it is hard on him as a guy thing that you have to make to liveing..That is life. pm me and I will tell you more if you would like.

 

[Ramona]

I have a tip for filing for disability. If Social Security denies his claim, don't accept the denial and find a lawyer who specializes in disability claims. For some reason, the Social Security Administration often approves challenged filings when fronted by a lawyer.

 

[sunshine]

I have a tip for filing for disability. If Social Security denies his claim, don't accept the denial and find a lawyer who specializes in disability claims. For some reason, the Social Security Administration often approves challenged filings when fronted by a lawyer.

It's not the lawyer that gets it approved, exactly - but lawyers that specialize in this sort of thing, know exactly what things they are looking for, in order to get approval.

We had a friend that works for Social Security (not in our area, so not a conflict of interest) that told us things to include. . . saying you can't walk around the block , won't get you approved . Saying things like you used to jog for 3 miles a day, yet now can't walk around the block is much more indicative of the amount of disability. You need to state what you were doing before, and where you are NOW.

 

[alotofgooddeals]

in the end i believe what matters is what the doctor says..

i know a doctor has to sign off on this type of thing...he received a note from the doctor stating that he could not return to his previous employer due to the fact of the strain it had on his body....however i really don't know...we know someone that has filed for disbility and has been denied numerous times even though for the man to walk it causes him great pain...I don't get it....but yeah i am gonna light a fire under his behind...thanks all...

 

[dschipman]

agree with what sunshine says. When he files he wants to state what his worse day is like. Saying stuff like "sometimes" I can do this or that will get you denied. But you want to be honest and consistent with your answers. Can your husband do phone jobs? Can he do any type of job as long as he is not on his feet? These are also things to think about, because they are looking at stuff like this.

 

[kita]

Disability is often denied as a matter of course. You need a lawyer. Disablity can be back paid and the lawyer will take a percent of that. given the timehe has being disabled that lawyer will work very, very hard for you.
Also, tell DH he PAID for this coverage when he was working. If he is disabled, he derserves it.

 

[marjorie]

the whole disability thing can be very time consuming and emotional. I was required by my private disabilty company to file for SSDI. Their requirement was that I not be able to work at any job for a period of one year or more. It might be reassuring to your husband to hear that the disability system allows for you to go back to work if/when you are able. It was a big stumbling block for me until I knew that, because it felt as though I was having to say I had no worth after years of supporting others. HTH

 

[Dianabeth]

The german shephard is the dog that cost us lots of money and in reality i should let her go to another home however she deals with anxiety and is extremely attached to my son...and we call her our basket case and i know that if i give her away she will lose her mind completely...(she is naughty when we are not home...she has learned to open the door to the house and escape..so we have to make sure the door is locked...she has learned to open the fridge when we are not there and makes a huge mess...if there is flour on the sideboard she pulls it down etc...you get the picture and i am not sure that anyone else can understand her disorder and might not love her like we do...so she stays.....

Is there any way that you can get hold of a crate? If you're not in the house, she can be safe in the crate, and your house will be safe too .......People are often selling them or even giving them away on Craigslist, Freecycle, etc.

~Di

 

[DebtFreeCPA]

This is my first post here, but I think I can offer some guidance. Regarding the electricity you should consider contacting your local utility company and have them come out for an audit. I cannot fathom electricity costing that much. These audits are either free or cost a small nominal fee. Before my wife and I moved, we had a nearly 3000 sq ft house and our energy bills weren't nearly as much as your electricity bill (even in the dead of winter) so something seems off to me. Like others have said, get your husband to fill out the disability papers as soon as possible. If you can't find a new job that is closer to where you live, would it be possible to work one day per week at home? That would save you nearly a week's worth of gas per month. I look forward to your replies.

 

[frugalcdngal]

Your husband should file for disability. If he is entitled to it, it would be wise to help your family out by claiming it.

 

[alotofgooddeals]

hi...no she wont use a crate...

when we got her she came with a crate however she wont use it...she breaks them by pushing in between and somehow pushing the doors open and breaking them and she hurts herself in the process...my husband gets irritated with her however the rest of the family absolutely loves her, she is a pain in the hiney but as we say she is our pain in the hiney...she would not survive going anywhere else because of her anxiety..i fear that someone else would not understand her issues and might yell or hit her andi cannot fathom that ever happening to her as she really is a good girl...so i have resigned to the fact that she is ith us till she passes...and we will deal ith whatever arises.....

The german shephard is the dog that cost us lots of money and in reality i should let her go to another home however she deals with anxiety and is extremely attached to my son...and we call her our basket case and i know that if i give her away she will lose her mind completely...(she is naughty when we are not home...she has learned to open the door to the house and escape..so we have to make sure the door is locked...she has learned to open the fridge when we are not there and makes a huge mess...if there is flour on the sideboard she pulls it down etc...you get the picture and i am not sure that anyone else can understand her disorder and might not love her like we do...so she stays.....

Is there any way that you can get hold of a crate? If you're not in the house, she can be safe in the crate, and your house will be safe too .......People are often selling them or even giving them away on Craigslist, Freecycle, etc.

~Di