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I took out Gerber life insurance policies on both my grand-daughters as soon as they were old enough for me to do so, but I certainly saw to it that the parents were the beneficiaries, not me!

The whole point was to make it possible for DD and DSIL to not be socked by funeral costs should the unthinkable happen. They would be destroyed emotionally. No point in them being destroyed financially. too.

The policies can be cashed in by the children when they reach their majority, so it's a little cash in their pockets at that point.

I'm hoping your FIL meant this in a nice way (as I did) and felt rejected and got snippy because of your reaction.

But then, you know him and I don't.
 
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I would like to ask you if #1 do you have a life ins on your child? If anything would happen, do you have the funds to take care of funeral and or care that would take up this policy??? I would be jumping for joy,as they care for said child!!! and I would have no worry if they ever come down with a life threating dagnosis that I was unprepared for, so I could keep my house and income.
 

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Discussion Starter #23
Well, here's what went down tonight. DH called FIL to discuss something else and while on the phone told him about the info we had found. DH told him that he was concerned that if the policy didn't have our approval that it would be ruled invalid should be ever need to use it (I hate to even think about it). FIL flipped his lid. He said that he had gotten the policy so she could cash it out eventually and not have to pay for college. DH told him that there were better ways to do it than a life insurance policy and that $25,000 wouldn't cover her college if that is what he is concerned with. FIL said that if we were gonna ask so many questions he would just cancel it, like he was threatening. DH told him to just do that and in the future if he wants to do something like this to let us know. I'm sure his intentions were partly good, but he can be very controlling and we prefer he not have control over things like this.
 

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My mother started a savings account for her grandchild (my sister's) without telling his parents about it. She was worried about their inability to control their money and that they might try to "borrow" from it. I don't know if she still has it or not, but it was basically just a savings account that he could draw out of once he reaches 21 yo (?) and that she has control of until then. Her money to begin with, so different situation.

Re-reading the original post, I guess it is a WEE bit less creepy in that your FIL gave them your address, or his employer would not have known where to send the copy of the policy. Maybe it was just a misguided attempt to do something nice for your child. Not appropriate, but maybe not mean-spirited.
 

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Even if he meant well, it's absolutely inappropriate for a grand parent to do something like this without the knowledge of the parent.

I smell boundary issues, at the very least.
 
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Discussion Starter #26
Re-reading the original post, I guess it is a WEE bit less creepy in that your FIL gave them your address, or his employer would not have known where to send the copy of the policy. Maybe it was just a misguided attempt to do something nice for your child. Not appropriate, but maybe not mean-spirited.
To clarify, he sent the envie himself from work.
 

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In light of everything you hear in the news these days it just sounds creepy to me. My kids are MY kids and I like to know what's going on with everything that has to do with them.

If my parents or inlaws had taken out the Gerber plan on my kids and listed dh or me to get the money, that's one thing. That's helpful to us if something (God forbid) should ever happen to one of our kids. But for him to put himself on the policy, I just don't know. It just seems like a potential money maker for him. Whose to say that if something happened to her he would give the money to you for funeral expenses? Especially the way you seem to feel about him and the way he wants to control things.

When my first husband passed away I was shocked to learn that his mother had two life insurance policies out on him and his sister had one! He didn't live with them, didn't provide for their household, etc. That creeped me out but heck his mom was a total nut anyway!

I would give him a day or two to cancel and then call the insurance company and explain the situation and ask if the policy had been cancelled. If not, explain the law to them and let them know that you do NOT want this policy on your dd and that you will take whatever legal steps are necessary to have it cancelled.

If FIL wants to help out dd then have him set up a savings account for her and contribute to it on a regular basis or something like that. HUGS!
 

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Pure and simple the man overstepped his bounds as a grandparent. If he wanted to do something to help his grandchild he should have discussed it with the parents, gotten their permission AND put the parents names down as the beneficiary so that if God forbid something were to happen they would have the money to take care of their child. Big red flags come out when he puts his own name down as beneficiary. I'd never ever leave my child alone with him after that.
 
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I'm sure his intentions were partly good, but he can be very controlling and we prefer he not have control over things like this.
I know where you're coming from. We're sort of in a similar situation, just not to the life insurance extreme. But a grandparent who doesn't understand boundaries and thinks he/she can make decisions on a parent level with our children. Sorry, we're not a trinity here.
 

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Well, here's what went down tonight. DH called FIL to discuss something else and while on the phone told him about the info we had found. DH told him that he was concerned that if the policy didn't have our approval that it would be ruled invalid should be ever need to use it (I hate to even think about it). FIL flipped his lid. He said that he had gotten the policy so she could cash it out eventually and not have to pay for college. DH told him that there were better ways to do it than a life insurance policy and that $25,000 wouldn't cover her college if that is what he is concerned with. FIL said that if we were gonna ask so many questions he would just cancel it, like he was threatening. DH told him to just do that and in the future if he wants to do something like this to let us know. I'm sure his intentions were partly good, but he can be very controlling and we prefer he not have control over things like this.
I wonder if he wanted this to be a surprise? That the college was paid for or partially paid for?

My Mom started a college savings account for our kids. I did give her their SS#s. Well to my brother because my Mom has Alzheimers. But they were completely upfront about it.
 

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My ex bought a life insurance policy for our DS when he was three. Now, DS is 26 years old & the policy is worth $65,000. It has been signed over to DS for some time, either when he turned 18, or 21. In our case it was an investment. DS could withdraw some right now, or just let it ride.
 

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Why would even take one on her to begin with, I could not imagine taking one on my granchildren,unless my daughter and hubby knew about in advance, after all its there children. If he has life insurance through work, Why not leave it for his own son?I would have him cancel, or you get a hold of his human resorce department and let them know, that this was done without your knowledge.
 

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I can't add anymore advice, but if he wanted to help with college a savings account would be a nice gift.
 

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Too scary! Too weird! I'd definitely take measures to get this insurance cancelled ASAP. I agree with Debbie-cat. I'd be wary of leaving FIL alone with the kids. You may want to think...Is this a FIL married into the family? Or, FIL who is the blood grandfather? Anyway it is, this is difficult. Good luck.
 
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