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Discussion Starter #1
I tried asking on another board and I don't think they understood my question so I'll ask here. My son has been increasingly emotional the past few months. It's not an everyday thing but it is enough for me to take notice.

Some background, there are no issues at school. No bullying, good grades and good folder marks. We never fight in front of the kids. They don't watch anything aggressive. My son is involved in sports. No possibilities of molestation or abuse. No behavior problems before that didn't pass quickly. The past few months he has gotten more into talking back and being disrespectful. A few times he has been crying quite easily. He is getting more body odor. He doesn't have to use deodorant everyday but does have to wear it some days.

I read puberty can start as early as 9 in some boys. He will be 9 in October. How did you deal with the emotional transition from child to tween to teen? Are there any good books for me to read and for me to read with him? How can I reach him when he's so worked up that he seems unreachable? I take things away and things like that but sometimes even that doesn't seem to work for long.
 

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Take your son to the doctor and have him tested for 'precocious puberty' - in other words premature puberty. I have seen this happen in other children (girls) but it can happen in boys too.
 
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My nephew was early. He started making comments about girls anatomy suggesting mature interest. He has a chunky body style and began needing deoderant.
W/ my DS he got big feet. Then wider shoulders and got mouthy. Then he gained a lot of bulk weight and then shot up. He was clumsy. Moody. Started taking dumb risks I knew he was smarter than. He used to get mad at me for actually giving him choices because then he didn't know what he wanted. Fun times.
Get a blood test like MC stated and some Zanax. Could be a long ride. DS is 17 1/2 and his brain is still partly broken.lol.
 

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Being the son at one point, I can tell you one thing that is most important, above all else:

Knock before entering his room. Wait for his acknowledgment to enter.
 

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I'm going through that now with my son. He is 14 and so mouthy and seems angry all the time. I know part of it is his ADHD but it is rough.
 
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Likely puberty, but a couple of other questions - is he eating any new foods and did he have a course of antibiotics within the past several months or was he sicker than usual this past winter? These would throw my 9 year old daughter's behaviour completely out of whack.

Amanda
 

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wwe11- My DS has the same. The best I ever do is 1 word or short responses then walk. Keeps arguements down.
-suit your self
-ok then
-apologize later
They know their out of control. Sometimes meds are spent. It is important not to engage but hard not to be baited. Natural consequences. And let as much go as possible.
He went thru a no laundry and very little hygiene stage. I mentioned it. He fought at me. I shrugged and said."the other kids will let you know".
The best tool I developed is to walk away. Give a short response and cruise. So HARD. but effective as heck.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Being the son at one point, I can tell you one thing that is most important, above all else:

Knock before entering his room. Wait for his acknowledgment to enter.
Haha, no doubt. I don't need us to be traumatized more than we already are.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
wwe11- My DS has the same. The best I ever do is 1 word or short responses then walk. Keeps arguements down.
-suit your self
-ok then
-apologize later
They know their out of control. Sometimes meds are spent. It is important not to engage but hard not to be baited. Natural consequences. And let as much go as possible.
He went thru a no laundry and very little hygiene stage. I mentioned it. He fought at me. I shrugged and said."the other kids will let you know".
The best tool I developed is to walk away. Give a short response and cruise. So HARD. but effective as heck.
I try to do that as much as possible. I try to tell my husband to also. He has a harder time with it than I do.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Likely puberty, but a couple of other questions - is he eating any new foods and did he have a course of antibiotics within the past several months or was he sicker than usual this past winter? These would throw my 9 year old daughter's behaviour completely out of whack.

Amanda
My son is a sickly kid. It's getting a little bit better but he can come into frequent nasty sinus infections. He hasn't been on any antibiotics lately. I hate it when he needs them because they do cause him to act nuts. As for foods, he's eating like he normally does. Like a teenage boy.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Take your son to the doctor and have him tested for 'precocious puberty' - in other words premature puberty. I have seen this happen in other children (girls) but it can happen in boys too.
I've looked that up and I don't believe that is what he has. He doesn't have most symptoms. Boys can start as early as 9 and he will be 9 in October. He does hit all his physical and emotional milestones early.
 

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There is a great book for parents of teens (but it really relates to puberty) called "Get Out of My Life! I Hate You! (But First Can Cheryl and I Have a Drive to the Mall?)"...it saved my life when my son was going through this stuff!

Because his emotional age is still 8, if this is the beginning of puberty, he's gonna need lots of positive reinforcement, because his mind and his body won't match, and he won't have any context for lots of the stuff he's going to experience. He probably also doesn't have peer who are going through the same stuff.

I used to tell my son that "I knew you when you had a sense of humour and I would still be there when it came back!"

Good luck!
 
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What kind of sports does he do? When I get cranky and angry it usually means I need to lift. At 8 it will be hard finding a good physical activity that will work the testosterone out but not injure him. Maybe discuss this with your pediatrician to find some safe ideas for physical activities that will help provide an outlet for the testosterone?

We men really do need to be thugs sometimes. Not necessarily thug to others, but just a long hard full body muscular excercise that brings us close to our physical limit in order to get to that good tired.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
What kind of sports does he do? When I get cranky and angry it usually means I need to lift. At 8 it will be hard finding a good physical activity that will work the testosterone out but not injure him. Maybe discuss this with your pediatrician to find some safe ideas for physical activities that will help provide an outlet for the testosterone?

We men really do need to be thugs sometimes. Not necessarily thug to others, but just a long hard full body muscular excercise that brings us close to our physical limit in order to get to that good tired.
He just finished up his soccer. In a couple of weeks it will be swim lessons. We are currently in limbo because my husband applied for work in another city. We may have to move to that city and even if we stay in the one we are in now we are still going to find a different place to live. I can't wait to find out more concrete answers. I'm thinking tackle football or some sort of martial arts when we know more about what's going to happen.
 

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No kids, so not speaking from personal experience, but I second the suggestion to have him seen by his pediatrician. This is very early for puberty, deodorant, etc.

The other thing I remember reading about, advice vetted by experienced moms, is that for boys in particular, a neutral setting may be easier for them to open up in. The suggestion was for parent and child to take a ride in the car, maybe get an ice cream cone or some other treat and then try to talk. Something about being in the car, feeling safe in the car, being able to talk without actually looking at you seems to encourage boys to open up, where being at home, in the living room, or wherever, does not.
 

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I would also take him to a Dr. I was 9 when I started puberty. I was a girl so a little different but it does happen in both boys and girls. Also you said that you may be moving, does your son know about this? Has he known for a while? Maybe he is acting out because of this. Just a suggestion. Good luck.
 
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