[Phaedrae]

I'm trying to figure out what to do. There is this 7yr old boy that lives on the 1st floor of my apartment building, well Friday night he asked if my ds could go out and play, so I took them to the playground. When we got there this other child came to play with the boys. This boy was about 2 1/2. The 7 yr old and the 2 yr old proceeded to start throwing rocks and such at each other, as well as the wood chips from the playground. After getting hit with a rock and several wood chips I decided I didn't want my son to be around this type of behavior and came home. Every night since the 7 yr old is coming up and asking if my son can play. I've notice that he only does this after all his older friends have gone in for the day. I feel sort of bad telling him the ds is eating, sleeping, etc. I can see that the boy is lonely but I just can't see him playing in ds's room with his toys and such. I am thinking of giving the playground one more shot and if his behavior hasn't improved much of telling him that ds isn't going to be spending time with him if his behavior doesn't improve (only if his behavior is as bad as it was that other day)... but on the other hand I don't want to hurt his feelings. Ugh..I am just so confused...

 

[heavensent_7]

JMO ~ But Firstly we have to protect our own kids as much as possible and secondly all children need correction. I would just tell him your son isn't coming out to play (and if you feel the need tell him why) what he is doing is dangerous.

You don't have to justify your parenting to a 7 year old! :hugz:

 

[dz_blonde_girl]

We have a similar child in our neighborhood. I think he is 6 and he comes over asking for my 10 year old. He is pushy and rude and ds doesn't want to play with him. His parent's don't provide much guidance, that is probably the problem. I don't know what to do either. I can't tell a 6 year old he's pushy and rude.

 

[AmyBoz]

I disagree...you absolutely can tell a child that you don't like their behavior. How else will they know that it is unacceptable? You don't have to specifically say "You are a bad influence and are pushy and rude" but you can say "I think you are playing too rough" or "I don't like my child to play those sorts of games." That is perfectly acceptable to say and it needs to be said sometimes, because these children's parents aren't saying it.

 

[tigo]

AmyBoz is right. The child may not know that what he is doing is wrong. When I first read this my first thought was "what about the kid's parents"? But we all know folks who let their children run about like strays because they can't be bothered. It is sad, but you have to take care of your own first.

 

[homesteadmamma]

I agree with Amy as well. Children need to be made aware of what they are doing that is wrong. I would say "until I see your behavior has changed, my son won't be coming out to play with you". If no one has told him what he is doing is wrong, and his parents obviously aren't telling him, then how would the child know what he is doing is wrong.

Also, where were the parents of the 2 year old.

 

[samantha]

I don't care whose child it is, if there are children throwing rocks at each other, it is the nearest adult's responsibility to put a halt to that, especially if it means protecting your child.

I say keep the playing on neutral territory so you can easily leave if necessary, but let the kid know what behavior is unacceptable so he won't be surprised when you wont' allow your kid to play with him. I don't think it's fair to stop your child from playing with him and not tell him why. If he knows the behavior is not acceptable and he still does it, then it will be his own doing at that point.

 

[rhiana]

You're worried about hurting a 7 year olds feelings!? Don't worry about it at all. If the childs parents aren't going to stop him from acting like that then he should at least know that behaving that way is going to prevent him from getting to make friends or play with other kids. Tell him your son is not allowed to play with him as long as they're throwing rocks or doing anything else which could cause someone to get hurt.
Rhiana

 

[captclearance]

I agree with Amy and the other Ladies too !!!!!! I am the first on my block to tell other kids to knock it off, if their behavior is unexceptable..... I have told kids at my door that until their behavior has improved that my kids are not allowed to play with them..........

 

[Katybird]

I agree with the others. My big question is the same as CJ's~where in the world were the parents of the 2 year old? That is absolutely frightening that a baby that age was out unsupervised.

I think you should tell him as nicely as possible that the behavior that he exhibited at the playground is unacceptable and that you can not let your son play with him if he is going ot continue to act in that manner. He may have no idea that it is unacceptable if his parents have not taught him right from wrong.

 

[Phaedrae]

Have you ever had an angry mom come after you for reprimanding her child?

The 2 yr olds parents were in their apartment which overlooks the playground. I and another adult told the 7 and 2 yr old that throwing things was not acceptable.. They kept doing it, after getting hit myself I told them that if they couldn't play without throwing things then myself and ds were going home. They continued..the 2 yr old kept crying because he kept getting hit with the wood chips but even after telling him that if he would've stopped throwing them then the other kid <b>probably</b> would have stopped as well.. I waited awhile to see if that would sink into either childs head and when it didn't myself, the other adult and our children went home...

 

[Aprilcarmen]

Yes I have had any angry Mom come after me for reprimanding her child. It's not fun.
You are the one in control of the situation and the only voice of reason. Here is what I would do for all it's worth. The next time thid child shows up at the door I would remind him of what happened last time at the playgound and that you will not stand for a repeat of that behavior and if the behavior happens again you and ds will go home. This is a little rough on ds too because he may feel like he is being punished if he has to suddenly go home from the playground so be sure to explain to him that he isn't the one who is not behaving. This will reenforce the correct behavior for your ds even though the bad behavior was displayed. Good Luck:angel: I've been there and it's no fun.