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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, now that it is push time, EXH's dad has gotten involved. He is a very nice man who gives his son a lot of money. He was horrified that the kids have not been receiving support. He told my ex to sign the document drawn up by my lawyer or he is cutting him off. He also offered to pay me the back support that EXH owes us.

I feel kind of guilty taking the money from him, he is a senior citizen, but honestly, that is the only way I will ever see it. EXH says that he is going to pay his father back, but I will believe it when I see it. My former father-in-law is giving me 3 checks, 2 of them postdated to take care of the money owed. I will get back the money I paid to my lawyer (all plastic money) so I am not in debt from this any further.

I will have full custody, receive support on a monthly basis, and this will all be signed into affect by the judge and cannot be appealed within 5 years unless someone can be proven unsafe.

My only qualm is taking money from the kids' grandfather. It kind of seems unethical.

This may be over by Friday!
 

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If your ex-father-in-law is willing and it won't strap him in a bad way, I'd take it. It's criminal that father's aren't made to get jobs/keep jobs to take care of their kids. *sigh* Wishing you and yours the best.
 

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I think grandpa is a wonderful man and doesn't want to see his grandkids do without. Take the money even if it is just to show grandpa that the kids are taken care of. Too bad the ex isn't like his father.
 

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TAKE THE MONEY!!!

If you DON'T take it I'm hitching up a dog sled and heading north to kick your tuckus!!! If he's supporting his son he can DARN WELL put the money to better use for the grand kids. I'm sure he's a great guy, and this really shows his love for your girls.

Take it, be gracious and thankful and GET THOSE PAPERS SIGNED!!

Hugs hun,
kj
 

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If you do not need all of the money, don't take it all. Consider the fact that it is not DH but his dad who is giving it to you, and he will probably be out the cash permanently.

If I were you, I'd be grateful for the help and only take what is needed to get your feet off the ground. This is not free money, it is somebody else's money. He is being generous to help you, and can't help it that his son is a jerk.


Just my 2 cents...
 

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It sounds like to me his father in not in any way straped for cash, and that he truly cares about his granddaughters. I would take the money he is doing it out of love fo his grand daughters.
If only your EX would be the same stand up kind of guy!
 

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I never received a dime of support from my DS father. He was never around for anything except for the slam,bam, thank you mam part and left quickly soon after. Years later, I got in touch with his parents to tell them they had a grandson. They didn't believe it, but I sent pictures and never really pushed the issue. On their own, they started sending checks and even sent my son a very expensive art set for Christmas that he still has. When they were traveling, they even came through our state and meet my DS and myself for dinner. I ended up being called back into the Army, being deployed and then later getting married to a wonderful man. We lived overseas for 5 years and we have just moved back to the states. If DS grandparents are still alive, we live less than 1 hour for from them. I haven't gotten up the nerve to call or write, I don't want them to send money, because I don't need it the way I did 7 years ago and I don't want them to think I want money. My DH wants to adopt my son, so at some point I will have to be in touch with them to find their son. My point is, please take this awesome gift. You have struggled to support your daughters, don't let pride take over and keep you further down in debt. What can you give them or teach them, if you have nothing to give. Best Wishes!
Dianne :usasmile:
 

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I think that it is very nice of the girl's grandfather to pay the back support for the irresponsible ex. He wants you to have it for the girls so don't feel bad about taking it from him, it is money much better spent for him to give it to you for the girls than the ex. Does the grandfather know that the ex has been leaving the girls alone at night while he was stripping? I would be tempted to find a discrete way of letting him know, maybe getting some assistance from the grandfather in making ex be more responsible would be a good thing.
 

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Karen,

First off: take the darn money, grandpa wants to make sure his granddaughters are taken care of and you and they have suffered enough. Pay off some stuff and start that EF.....if this man is so nice maybe you and the girls could invite him to dinner once a week so that you all could keep in touch and he can see what an awesome mother you are.

JMHO,
leezza
 

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Take the money and make him some nice Christmas cookies. What a man! He's probably embarrassed from what his son is like.
 

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As a grandparent I can tell you that I would never let my beloved g- kids do without, or their mother.I would be heartbroken to see all this going on.The loan is between grandpa and his son.I would take the money. I would encourage a relationship between the girls and their grandparent.
 

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Take the money. I am sure he would not have offered it if he could not have afforded it.I agree with a thoughtful thank you and the dinners if he is receptive.
 

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I would agree with taking what you need. Also might want to discuss it with you lawyer. Don't really know if that is a good idea or not. Just so that your ex can't say my dad was going to give you the back money.

Good to hear your ex's father is basically telling your ex to straighten up!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thank you for all of your thoughtful suggestions. I am going to take the money. We really need it. We are behind on a lot of stuff right now.

EXH's parents are very nice people and they really are ashamed of his behavior. I did not let them know about the stripping because, honestly, there is nothing they can do about that and it would just be hurtful to them.

I am amking them a calendar for Christmas with the girls photos in seasonal pictures as well as a big basket of goodies. How lucky my kids are to have two sets of grandparents who adore them.

I wish every kid had such wonderful people in their lives.
 

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It's great that your kids have such wonderful grandparents. I'm glad you're taking the money.


--Michelle
 

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If you do not need all of the money, don't take it all. Consider the fact that it is not DH but his dad who is giving it to you, and he will probably be out the cash permanently.

If I were you, I'd be grateful for the help and only take what is needed to get your feet off the ground. This is not free money, it is somebody else's money. He is being generous to help you, and can't help it that his son is a jerk.


Just my 2 cents...
I agree with you. I think if you take the money from the grandfather, then you are letting your ex off from his responsibility. He told you he would pay his dad back, but I am sure he has made promises to you that have been broken as well.

I would politely tell the grandfather thank you for the offer, but this is your son's responsibility.
 

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The girls' grandfather sounds like a lovely, decent man. You are very blessed that he is willing to help.

Keep us posted on what happens in court.
 
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