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Discussion Starter #1
Transitional period - have you ever heard of it before. Its the time between now and when ds#1 turns 18 and social services (they help families with special needs) begins to discuss transitions that may take place once he is 18.

- will he live at home
- will he live in a group home
- will he live at home with "some" support
- will he live on his own with "some" support

- what are our plans
- will he do day programs
- will he be in a residential setting
- will there be employment programs for him

I'm sitting here, breathless almost. I can't even begin to think of this. It just seems so overwhelming to me to even begin to think that he may soon be leaving home!!!

Has anyone gone through this?
 

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Heather Bob
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CJ, I haven't been through this but a friend back home has. I will pm you later today. I am saying a prayer for you and sending you a ton of hugs!!!! I know this is overwhelming right now but there is lots of time to think about this and get everything in order.....I know it must be a shock though to even start the process. Love ya'!!:hugz: :hugz:
 

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CJ I have not been through this but just want to offer my support. You are a wondrful lady and I know you'll make the best decisions for your ds. :hugz:
 

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I haven't been through this, cj, but wanted to give you a big (((hug))).
 

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CJ, I have not been through it but I wanted to send my prayers and support along with the others. I know that God will lead you in the right direction regarding your decisions. We are all here for you, we love you!
 

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CJ I haven't been through this YET - but we have the same kind of system here and I know that I too will have to make these decisions. I have freaked just 'thinking' about it!

Hopefully Social are experienced and can aid a little with details of each choice to make the decision a little easier to take.

You definately have my thoughts with you at this time and I'll remember where to come for advise when the time comes (((hugs))) xxxx
 

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FV Buddy aka Kellie Bob
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Hi CJ, this is what I do, I run a day program for adults with multiple handicaps. In NJ the age is 21 for aging out of public schools, I was suprised you have to deal with this so early. There are a lot of decisions to make, but know that they are not all permanent. Do make a decision regarding employment or day programming asap. For us there is a waiting list and I hate seeing people get out of the good habits of being on a schedule and getting up in the am and being productive once they have aged out and not had an immediate transition into an adult program. See what is available in your area so you can make an informed decision and try to network other parents to see what they think are the good and bad parts of the services available. You'll do fine. One important thing currently happening in NJ, not sure about there, we are encouraging our parents to getr their kids on residential (group home, supervised apartment etc) waiting lists asap. In NJ you have the right to refuse any placement and to give up your slot and be put back on the waiting list if your name comes up and your not ready to be placed. It is easier to get placement if you are already on the waiting list and it becomes an emergency placement and our residential state waiting list is currently 5 years to placement without emergency status. Look into it, and best wishes.--Kellie
 

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{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} CJ !!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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I can't even imagine having to walk in your shoes CJ. My prayers are with you and I know that He will be with you in every decision you make.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Kellie - the reason they've asked us to start doing this is because it takes 2 years to get all the services he will need, some even longer. I just talked to a friend who has gone through it with her son and it took 2 1/2 years.

It really has thrown me for a loop and when I told dh, he was stunned. You know, you just don't think of these things.

Thanks Kellie for that info. That will definitely help.
 

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CJ, my DD age 22 will complete the "transition" to the adult programs when she graduates from the program she is currently in this June 10th. She "gradutated" high school with the kids she went through the k -12 school years in 2000 at the huge sports arena in the big city near us. The last 3 years she has been in a transition program, also through the school system.

Beginning last fall I toured 3 Day Programs that I, and transition team thought would be good choices for her. I only put her name on one of them.....it was run so nicely and had a great reputation and DD knows many others that attend. I put my request in and it was approved by her Social Worker, and by Jan we heard that she was "accepted"...I was so happy, there was a potential that there would be a waiting list. I also know some the parents. I have joined the parents group already and feel it is a good choice, but it still is scary.

DD will attend 9-3, M-F...a teacher will pick her up in a mini-van provided by the program and drop her off. She will have a job, probably with others and a job coach at first...and then we will see what happens. Generally the work would be about 5 hours a day, 4 days a week. One day spent doing activites out in the community. She will make and bring her own lunch.

Currently, we are not looking into a group home situation for DD, although quite a few of her friends are going into group homes, and I know of a couple of families that have gotten together and are creating a group home for a group of young men. It will be a possibility someday, but DD is not ready. We have visited Group Homes and also Independent Living situations.

I once worked with a 36yo MH women, who first lived in a group home, then in an apt with others, then just her and a room mate, then she got her own apt....she had an open house and I took DD with me. She got to meet older MH people, it was a great experience. So DD is aware, and she will move when the time is right.

I keep DD very active in social events, choir, softball, social events....and would really love to start a christian group of some sort for young adults...

I often compare this to a game of tennis, the balls just keep coming and I just keep hittin um.......there is alot of stuff that just keeps comin!! And in the US anyway, there is MORE work..just MORE of everything...not less the older they get.

I know I have written a book, but it really helps to network with other parents...just to get experiences about different programs, whats good, whats not. In the state I live in they have adaptive sports that are run by the state high school league, just like other sports. The kids can join from 7-12 grade. This was wonderful...the kid and the parents become good friends..a good social network...which so far, and transferred over to young adulthood.

Good Luck, Keep Prayin....I really keep in mind, God IS in control...and he has "labors" and angels everywhere to help guide and protect...we cannot do it all. This life on earth is short.

Feel free to PM if you would like to. It is scary, and breathtaking...but it will be okay..:heartsm:
 

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CJ, I want you to know I'm thinking about you.:hugz:
With your strong sense of faith and family you all will be OK.:heartsm:
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Cozyquilter - thanks for sharing your story. It helps to come here and here all the wonderful comments and to read that others have gone through it and know what I'm talking about.

When dh and I talked about it last night, it hit him really hard. He was in a state of shock also.


The one thing we really find hard is we can't talk about it in front of ds#1 because he takes things literally and then only what he wants to hear. We don't want him believing that were "kicking" him out when he turns 18. His understanding is so like that though that if he heard us talking about anything like this, he'd be thinking that. Right now he is so worried about the war, one more thing would become a nightmare for him.


Many probably won't understand this, but as parents were always there to protect them and suddenly yesterday I learnt (even though I knew in the back of my mind) that I won't always be there and he is so vulnerable to others taking advantage of him. Thats the scariest part!!

Thanks everyone for caring!!
 

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CJ,
I'm only at the beginning of the journey and can't even imagine facing what you are. I try so hard to focus day to day and not think so far ahead. My largest fear is when I am no longer around for my Zachary.
I'll pm you in a few. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you.
 

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CJ, was just wondering how you and DH and your son were doing with the beginnig transition?

Yesterday I had the intake meeting for DD to begin her adult program, funny...but that wasn't has hard has transitioning from High School to the Transition program...?

Years ago I thought the hard part would be going from the school system to the adult program, but it really was leaving the High School...as it is for all kids. :)

It really went very smoothly and DD got to share in her morning meeting all about it. She leaves her current program on 06/10 and starts the new program 06/30.

We knew quite a number of participants and I think that although leaving the current program is hard for DD, I think she is not as afraid of the new program.

Was just thinking about your situation and hoping its going well.





:)
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Cozyquilter, thanks for asking.

We've decided to wait before we start anything until he turns 16 which won't be until Jan. We've also decided that this will be on our terms, not anyone else's.

When I look at my boy, its just too difficult to think about him being on his own right now. I'm not ready, his dad isn't ready and certain our son isn't ready.

Were also making it a matter of prayer to know exactly how to proceed once January comes around.
 

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CJ, I am keeping you in my prayers.:hugz: It must be alot of worries for you...I wish the very best for you ds.:heartsm:
 
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