[Iansmommy]

Do you cook separately for your picky eaters? My ds is very picky. I find him asking, "what am I going to eat" when I make dinner. I usually tell him I will make him something. I realized I have created my own monster.

Do you expect your picky eaters to eat what everyone else is eating or do make something special? Funny thing is, people tell me he eats things for them that he won't eat for me. He is very sensative to textures and will throw up if something is a funny texture. He has been like this since he started eating baby food. He is 6 and was wondering if it is too late to just tell him, this is dinner. Either you eat it or you don't eat.

 

[earthymom]

It's never too late

And it is reasonable to make some allowances for taste. We all have some food preferences and dislikes.

At 6, your son is old enough to "help" with dinner planning and prep. If he helped decide what to prepare, and maybe stirred the pot or added some key ingredient -- at very least handed you things while you cooked, and then you "announced" at dinner that he "made" the meal, he likely will eat it.

Also, maybe the two of you could look for some new recipes together that he would be interested in trying.

 

[Buc-O-Mama]

When my DS was younger he had a very narrow list of food that he liked. Fortunately, it included plain rice, plain pasta, meat and a few veggies. The only concession that I made was to leave his portion of pasta and meat or veg seperate if we were having a casserole, or I left things in big enough chunks that he could pick out what he didn't like himself. Also, he had the option to make himself a peanut butter sandwich, but that was as far as it went.

Maybe getting him into the kitchen to work with you might help him try new foods. I teach a cooking class for k-2nd grade every week and so many kids will try things they thought they didn't like once they got their hands on it to do at least the prep work. It really makes a difference. All 12 students I had for one of my Oktoberfest classes ate sauerkraut, leaving their parents in shock just as an example.

As far as tasting new foods, here are two methods that have worked for me successfully at home and work. If they will just dip the tines of their fork into the new food, not getting a piece of food, just enough of the flavor of sauce or whatever, and lick the fork, picky eaters will often taste that before eating a chunk of new food. Also, my DS was a sucker for the " 7 year olds like this food, you haven't tried it since you were 5, how about you try it again" method. Believe it or not, it worked more than it didn't.

Wow, I didn't mean to write a book. Sorry.

 

[McD]

Wesley is really picky. While I don't expect him to eat everything we are eating, I don't make him a whole separate meal. As an example, last night, we had spaghetti. Wesley won't eat spaghetti. So on his plate he got a fruit, a veggie, some spaghetti (I'm holding out hope!) and baloney.

He knows that he either eats dinner or he gets no snacks for the rest of the night. I have never heard of a kid starving to death when they had food made available to them, lol. I've noticed with Wesley, we have to creatively name things. I.e. baloney is really HOT DOG ROLL-UPS. Mashed potatoes are cheesy tots. Chicken alfredo is Fancy Mac n Cheese.

I also have to trick Wesley into eating....doing a lot of reverse psychology...."Wesley...don't you take a single bite of that! Don't you eat that! That's mommy's ! " I've got him to eat two helpings of cottage cheese that way.

HTH

 

[AmyMCGS]

My DS had/has a lot of texture issues, so I can relate to that part. (He's been receiving speech therapy for more than a year now related to feeding issues.) He threw a screaming fit in ChickFilA a few weeks ago because I tried to get him to eat a waffle fry... this is the same kid who begs for french fries at home. The waffle fries were shaped differently, so there was no way he was eating them, period. :sigh: I don't know if that's an almost-two thing or a texture thing... either way, I gave up on the waffle fries!

My DD has recently hit a picky phase- she ate nearly anything until the last few months. She still gets the same food as the rest of us, but I'll seperate hers (like someone else said above) so she can pick out the parts she doesn't like.

The other trick that we've used with her since she was little is to add ketchup or ranch dip. She dips some combinations that seem gross to me, but as long as she's eating well, I can tolerate ketchup-covered green beans, LOL.

 

[IntlMom]

Well, my son with special needs has some serious texture issues.....and yet, I have never, and will NEVER make him a seperate meal. I do make alot of meals with him in mind, but sometimes I make things that he just plain doesn't like because the rest of us like it. I'm not talking strange meals, normal stuff like casserole, veggie and applesauce. He will eat the creamy casserole and applesauce quickly and then sit there with the veggie on his plate. We make him eat it, he will often sit there for an hour and look at that one bite of corn, but we are firm...... We've done the throwing up thing too, and agree or disagree, I have actaully made him scoop it up and eat it....eeewwwwww! Guess what? he doesn't do that anymore!

 

[zakity]

We have picky eaters in my household (I am one of them). I do not make a seperate meal. You can either eat or starve, but my guys are older (12, 10, and 10). When they were younger, that was still in effect, but I tried to make foods that I knew everyone would eat.

I also have them help pick what is for dinner that week. I go through and see what needs used up and what our schedule is like and plan for those days. I then tell them how many days we have no dinners scheduled and take requests. If they request something and it isn't feasible, I tell them a reason. Like when they want homemade pizza on a 100 degree day, I will suggest pseudo pizza (pizza on bagels or English muffins), but they get informed that the oven will not be turned on.

They also help cook and have for a long time.

 

[FrugalWitch]

I am 4th generation of the "take it or leave it" school. No one in our family history has ever voluntarily starved to death. So, nope I do not and will not tolerate, or cater to, picky eaters. That includes my Momma. (payback is a b!tch lol)

With so many people starving in this world to be picky about food is, to me, a sign of how spoiled as a nation that we are.

 

[FrugalWitch]

Forgot to add (and couldn't edit), my step-brother used to pull that throwing up crap until he was 7. Two different psychologists told Momma the same thing my Ninny told her "Make him clean it up. When he gets tired of cleaning up his messes it will stop" Only took 2 times of him having to clean up his mess for the upchucking to stop. Pretty amazing since he had been pulling that stunt for years. They also said not to shower him with sympathetic attention for vomiting. Just make them clean it up, leave the table and no snacks, treats or special meals.

Granted cleaning up the mess won't work on a kid younger than 6 , but I would think that 6 and 7 is old enough to clean up their own puke. Just passing along info.

 

[hippytreehugger4ever]

Well, my son with special needs has some serious texture issues.....and yet, I have never, and will NEVER make him a seperate meal. I do make alot of meals with him in mind, but sometimes I make things that he just plain doesn't like because the rest of us like it. I'm not talking strange meals, normal stuff like casserole, veggie and applesauce. He will eat the creamy casserole and applesauce quickly and then sit there with the veggie on his plate. We make him eat it, he will often sit there for an hour and look at that one bite of corn, but we are firm...... We've done the throwing up thing too, and agree or disagree, I have actaully made him scoop it up and eat it....eeewwwwww! Guess what? he doesn't do that anymore!

That's considered child abuse:doh2:

 

[Jamauk]

Do you cook separately for your picky eaters? My ds is very picky. I find him asking, "what am I going to eat" when I make dinner. I usually tell him I will make him something. I realized I have created my own monster.

Do you expect your picky eaters to eat what everyone else is eating or do make something special? Funny thing is, people tell me he eats things for them that he won't eat for me. He is very sensative to textures and will throw up if something is a funny texture. He has been like this since he started eating baby food. He is 6 and was wondering if it is too late to just tell him, this is dinner. Either you eat it or you don't eat.

I'm right here with you - my DS (5) is very picky and its not only a textural thing, but also an "I don't recognize it, so I must not like it" thing. I'm fully aware that I've created this monster, but I don't know how to fix it.

I do make something seperate for him (usually chicken nuggets or a grilled cheese), but he has to pick something from our meal to try. He's done the throwing up thing - can't say I've ever made him scoop it up and eat it (but I might try that next time!)

I'm really trying hard to get him to where he'll at least try some new things, but I also don't feel that its fair for me to change the rules overnight and suddenly just say "Well, this is dinner. Eat it or starve"

So, we're making baby steps. He used to tell me that when he was 4 he'd eat "grown up food", then he turned 4. So he said when he was 5 he'd eat veggies. Now that he's five he's telling me that 10 year olds eat like grown up (he wised up and pushed his deadline out a few years!)

We're going to start a garden next year when we get into our new place and I'm hoping that by helping to grow some of the foods, he'll be more likely to eat them. We'll see!

 

[Michelle]

Well, my son with special needs has some serious texture issues.....and yet, I have never, and will NEVER make him a seperate meal. I do make alot of meals with him in mind, but sometimes I make things that he just plain doesn't like because the rest of us like it. I'm not talking strange meals, normal stuff like casserole, veggie and applesauce. He will eat the creamy casserole and applesauce quickly and then sit there with the veggie on his plate. We make him eat it, he will often sit there for an hour and look at that one bite of corn, but we are firm...... We've done the throwing up thing too, and agree or disagree, I have actaully made him scoop it up and eat it....eeewwwwww! Guess what? he doesn't do that anymore!

Please tell me that I either read that wrong or that it was a typo. Did you mean that you made him clean it up vs eating it??

 

[Michelle]

I don't make separate meals for my kids (who are picky), but I do let them opt for a peanut butter sandwich and fruit if they don't want to eat what everyone else is eating.

 

[Izzy0906]

My daughter was very picky with meats only... wouldn't TOUCH any meat but a chicken nugget, hot dog or baked ham. I don't eat much meat myself so couldn't blame her but the dbf who's been with us 3 years is a big meat eatter so I had to make it work for all of us at dinner. First I got DBF to try ground turkey/chicken and love it better then beef. WE don't eat beef anymore. Then (this is kinda mean) I got some turkey sausage and grilled it and told my daughter it was a hot dog. She loved it. Ok, now add sausage to her list. THen one night I had my brothers friend (they come over to eat often, they are 25) have her try some meatloaf made from ground turkey. She refused for me but has a "crush" on my brothers friend so did it for him.. Loved it! Then I had a Nutrisystem burger for dinner one night and she tried a bite. Loved it. Now she eats all kinds of burgers (except beef that is). Now I'm able to make so many different items with sausage, ground turkey, ground chicken and she'll eat every bite. Took me a long time but you just need to figure out a game plan and go for it. I never did cook her a seperate meal. I always allowed her to just eat the rice/pasta/potatoes and the veggies. Good thing she loves her veggies!

 

[YankeeMom]

I do not make separate meals for the picky ones.
I have two that don't like rice, one that hates beans, another that can't stand potatoes. I'd be making 6 different meals each night.

Most of the time, they are required to eat a little bit (as many bites as they are years old so my 6yo eats 6 bites of rice). Sometimes (like tonight) I will make a couple of different sides so they have something they like and can skip what they don't like.

Tonight, for instance. We are having
steak (liked by all)
l/o pasta salad -hated by my two boys, loved by the rest of us
potato salad -hated by the boys and oldest dd, loved by the rest of us
baked beans -hated by youngest dd, but loved by the rest of us, especially the boys

See what I mean :laugh:

 

[IntlMom]

You know, you can get kids to eat lots of different things that they wouldn't normally eat, if you "hide" it in their food. For example, I have been down a very long road with one of my boys........I already covered that, but like tonite, we are having spegetti. I have learned over the years that, while I won;t make him a special meal, I do alter some of his dishes to make sure that he is getting all the nutrients. I will make spegetti sauce as normal for our whole family, and then I will throw some cooked carrots in a blender and add them to his sauce. He'll never know, and I'll feel better knowing what he ate.
I have fought with him for too many years, and in the end, I want him to enjoy the meal time, and not dread it. We've tried lots of things in the past, (some good, some not so much!) and while we are not always perfect, and neither is every meal.......it;s a learning process for everyone that has ever dealt with this!

 

[Jamauk]

You know, you can get kids to eat lots of different things that they wouldn't normally eat, if you "hide" it in their food. For example, I have been down a very long road with one of my boys........I already covered that, but like tonite, we are having spegetti. I have learned over the years that, while I won;t make him a special meal, I do alter some of his dishes to make sure that he is getting all the nutrients. I will make spegetti sauce as normal for our whole family, and then I will throw some cooked carrots in a blender and add them to his sauce. He'll never know, and I'll feel better knowing what he ate.
I have fought with him for too many years, and in the end, I want him to enjoy the meal time, and not dread it. We've tried lots of things in the past, (some good, some not so much!) and while we are not always perfect, and neither is every meal.......it;s a learning process for everyone that has ever dealt with this!

Traci,
I love this idea and think its great. However, Ben literally has a list of foods that you can count on your fingers that he will eat. And none of it includes any sauce (except ketchup).

As I stated before, we're working on it. I like the one bite for each year....I think we'll have to try that....

 

[IntlMom]

I saw a couple of you noticed the whole "forcing him to eat the food that he puked up thing". I suppose I should have actually told the story more clearly. After years of dealing with puking up what he ate, we kinda came up with an idea. The last time that he did it, which was several years ago (I don't know, 5 or 6) we made him taste it. I am not talking about the whole thing, cause that's just plain nasty!! It only took a small taste, he wasn;t very happy about it, to say the least, and it was WAAAY less than a scoopful I'm sure (I don;t even really remember anymore to be honest). Anyway, he took one taste of it, and we were able to have a conversation about how much better food tastes going into your mouth. Something with that somehow clicked for him, and we haven't had to deal with it ever again.
Good? Bad? Right? Wrong? I don't know. But one thing's for sure about parenting, you have to be creative. If something doesn't work, you have to be ready to try something different. We had years of crying and yelling and my son being upset, and me being upset all over eating. It was awful. Looking back, it was so not worth it.
So do I make him a seperate meal? No (Taco salad is the only exception to that)
Do I sometimes alter the food for him? Yes (adding veggies to the sauce)
Do I make meals that are "texture friendly" to him? Mostly

 

[Jamauk]

I also wanted to add that I hope you didn't take offense to what I said about it. Its seriously something I'm considering. My DS doesn't actually puke (as in vomit) - he more gags as the food is in this mouth and then spits it (with his milk) back out of his mouth. He's learned that its a way to actually get out of eating said food.

I've decided that's not acceptable anymore. Yes, he does have to wipe up his mess. But since all he's really doing is spitting the food out, I see no reason why he can't shove it back in!

Oh - and I did think of two places that I have been able to sneak veggies in - pizza sauce & yogurt smoothies (only if he isn't helping me make them!)

 

[IntlMom]

I also wanted to add that I hope you didn't take offense to what I said about it. Its seriously something I'm considering. My DS doesn't actually puke (as in vomit) - he more gags as the food is in this mouth and then spits it (with his milk) back out of his mouth. He's learned that its a way to actually get out of eating said food.

I've decided that's not acceptable anymore. Yes, he does have to wipe up his mess. But since all he's really doing is spitting the food out, I see no reason why he can't shove it back in!

Oh - and I did think of two places that I have been able to sneak veggies in - pizza sauce & yogurt smoothies (only if he isn't helping me make them!)

Nope, totally not at all!! We struggled with it for so long because it beacame a bevioural thing.........anyway, enough of that.
The smoothies are good for fruit. Just be sure not to put too much in or it will be noticable (btw, nice that he likes smoothies)
The pizza sauce is the easy one. Any veggies cooked and pureed will work. I tend to use carrots alot cause of the dork orange colour. Here;s a veggie you might not have thought of: cooked butternut squash. My son LOVES it. I buy a block of frozen squash and cook it up with brown sugar and honey. DUH!! what's not to like?!?!? He likes it just by itself.