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Discussion Starter #1
Does your dh feel that since he "makes the money" that he gets to spend it on whatever he wants?

I often feel quilty buying myself anything, but he has no problem paying $100 - 200 for motorcycle parts, etc. Anyone else have this problem?
 

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I CANT relate really, DH doesnt think that way BUT he does have wants of expensive stuff, usually we just save up till we can afford it.

Maybe you should have a talk with your DH about his spending if it's interering with your "budget".
 

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No because I have told him that I have stayed home thru the yrs to raise his kids all alone lots of times( hes in the army). I pay the bills and do lots around the house so he doesnt have to worry about it. Also when the kids were little I told him I would get a job but then he would have increased responsibilites in the house and after day care would it be worth it to me to work? Sometimes they need to have things pointed out to them
 

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We used to have that problem but honestly after some years and levels of maturity it has dwindled. In fact now I'm a lot more likely to spend on me than he is on him...but when he spends, he spends :lol:
 

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I am with jamie79, we are Army too. I got out of the Army when we got married, thus I support DH and his career, manage the family, manage the house, take of everything whenever he is gone and choose to make being a SAHM my career. Soooo the paycheck is ours. I told him I could quit anytime he wants and I will go back into the Army and we will flip a coin to see who gets to stay home with our children and keep the house from falling down. I am still a SAHM!! Get DH on the same sheet of music regarding a budget and spending. Perhaps read Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.
Dianne
 

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No fo the most part my hubby understands. Every once in a blue moon(like once a year) he wll want something and I tell him if he gets that then he has to do the bills! LOL! That shuts him down.

We do have muscle cars, if anything needs to be done to them he will barter for the parts he can do the work himself, or we will save for it.
 

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Not my guy, he's Mr. "Do we really need this?" It's hard to get him to spend money on himself.
Years ago, I'd have been the one to pout a bit but then I'd see the light, lol. I still pout now & then but do it in my head where no one can see, lol. Just today I was doing that secret pout, really wanted to get that kitchen-aid for my sis but I know we just can't afford it right now. Maybe someday but not now.
I think with maturity you learn that you can't always get what you want & it's ok, just enjoy what you do have.
 

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Nope, not here, not really.

My dh is very tight with his money and I spend more. BUT, I spend on everyone except me. Him, the kids, church, school...stuff like that.
 

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Ditto to Prairierose. My husband and I don't argue about money at all, but then we've have many years to work out how we handle the finances.
 

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No, my husband isn't like that. He'll do without if there is something more important to take care of and there usually is. He's been wanting this fishing gadget for a long time, but it's sooo expensive. Instead, he's helping me take care of some dental needs. I'm so grateful he's like that.
 

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My DH is not as budget focused as me but he doesn't spend a lot of money either.

I don't think he thinks that its his money and now our money as he understands that if i go back to work, it will take a lot of juggling, he looking after DD and less work around the house.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I'm not saying that he runs out every week, it is just more that I feel guilty spending money on myself, I guess.
 

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I am right there with you. I NEVER spend money on myself, if I do for any reason I feel bad. DH does feel that he works so he should get to spend it the way he wants, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes he can be a jerk. I wish he would get on frugal village and read about saving money, maybe then he would "get" how I try to save money. Grrrrr...sorry we just had an argument about this tonight.

So to answer your question he does feel justified in spending what he wants on himself because he works.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I am right there with you. I NEVER spend money on myself, if I do for any reason I feel bad. DH does feel that he works so he should get to spend it the way he wants, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes he can be a jerk. I wish he would get on frugal village and read about saving money, maybe then he would "get" how I try to save money. Grrrrr...sorry we just had an argument about this tonight.

So to answer your question he does feel justified in spending what he wants on himself because he works.
(((HUGS))) we'll be in this together!
 

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well see. i'm a sahm, but we do foster care too, so i get a check every month. plus he see's how I bust my rear-end taking care of 6 kids....so he wouldn't dare say anything to me.....lol
 

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We had this problem the first time I stayed home with the kids (when our second child was first born). So much so, that I went back to work, becuase I felt like I wasn't contributing, and didn't have my own money for things.

When I decided to stay home the second time, I kind of realized that the whole thing was in my head! If I want something, I can go out and buy it...Dh won't care. But I felt bad spending "his" money. I guess I realize now, that it is our money, even if I am no longer earning a paycheck.

I do my share for our family. And out of the mouth of my husband...I am doing more now for the well-being of our family & home than I could ever do while I was working. When I was working, I'd bring home a paycheck, while my kids were being raised by someone else and bringing home their values.

I think it is something you have to get over in your own time. It took me almost 3 1/2 years to get over the mindset that a paycheck defines who you are. What I am doing now, is far more valuable. And once I realized that, I don't mind having to ask DH for money if I need something. (Although, he would never go out and spend a couple hundred bucks on anything without talking to me...he knows I would kill him!) : )
 

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My husband does have a little more expensive tastes in buying things than I do, and he does go on fishing trips more frequently these days, but he does seem to ask before buying and I do appreciate that. I am going to be working a few more hours in the new year, and that will help me feel like I am contributing more. Although I do realize that I have been contributing by taking care of the house and kids all of these years, I'm ready to earn a small paycheck at this time in my life. :horse:
 

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Both DH and I hate to spend money on ourselves. I have no problem going out and spending it on him and vice versa - we should just send each other out to do our shopping! :)

We look at it this way, though and it helps us realize its "our" money. He is on the offense and I'm on the defense - in other words, its his "job" to bring the money in, but its my "job" to control how it goes out (since I pay the bills, manage the budget, do the grocery shopping, etc....). Also, just because I'm a SAHM, doens't mean I don't have a job - it just doesn't come with a paycheck. I work my butt off day in and day out with no sick days, no personal days, etc......I'm grossly underpaid! :)
 

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Not in the least! My DH comes from a wonderful example in his parents, who fully lived as one unit and considered their roles within the marriage as equals. If anything he leaves managing the finances more up to me, but every single penny is considered equally ours. I am grateful for this, as I have friends who struggle in their marriage with this issue on a daily basis! It makes me really sad. Then there's my brother and his now-ex wife; if he spent a dollar on himself, she had to find something to spend the same amount on for herself just to keep the tabs equal... not my idea of a working partnership.....
 
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