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Discussion Starter #1
Hello everyone! I don`t know if this is where I need to put this.
My dgs is almost 17 ,I`ve been raising him for 9yrs.
He has wanted to quit school since the 8th grade.
I don`t have custody of him, his dad does. His dad has`t been a good Dad to him.He just haven`t had anything to do with him or support him. He doesn`t pay child support.But since he gotmarried 2 yrs.he`s done more for him if he needed it,but not a lot.
this year he wanted to quit so I went to sign the with draw form, but could`nt because I didn`t have custody.
He called his dad and he wouldn`t sign it. Michael wanted to go into the
ROTC.
well he hasn`t been to school since the 5th of feb. I only knew of six day`s
and the school never called and told me.
He`s not suppose to take our car to school ,only if he missed the bus.
well he took the buick on last monday. He was told not to take the car again . we hid the key`s for that car.
Tuesday morning I was still in the bed. the camaro is in the back yard , has rotten tires on it,a doughnut tire on it, no tag . hasn`t been onthe road for several yrs.
I`m laying in the bed,and I hear it start up. I lay there a minute till it register`s,by the time I get to the front door I hear it going down the road .
I open the door wider and look up the street and see the tail end.
I go throw some cloth on and go to the school, I drive thr the parking lot .
I don`t see the camaro , but I go in any way and ask if he`s there. F course he isn`t and that`s when I find out he hasn`t been there since the 5th.
I go look at a couple of places then I go back home.
Then I call his cell phone again he answer`s I tell him to get his self home.
He comes home I tell him what I know and he tell `s me he`s not going back to school.
he call`s his dad that night and hids dad tell`s him no.
Michael has 16 yyrs. of hatred and anger built up.
He has alway`s been scared ofhis dad. He told him off and it was not a pretty picture. He went over the top on some thing`s. But his dad did deserve most of what he said.
we talked to my son several times and asked him to sign the paper.
He wasn`t going to do it. He called us several times,when he was home this past Friday he took dgs to juvenile cout building and talked to a probation officer.
he suggested several option`s. ds is going to sign the paper now.But first he is going to draw up a contract that say`s if michael hasn`t taken his GED in a yr. he will have to go back to school. michael will have to sign it and it will be notarized.
dgs said he could live with that.
He has adhd and he has been a hand ful for yrs.
Thank`s for listening !
cissylu
 

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Bless you for taking care of your grandson. What a wonderful person you are! Thinking of you...............
 

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wow. You are a very strong woman. Sometimes I don't even know how I would react to things that I hear kids doing (like not going to school or not following the rules). I remember being stone cold scared to death of my mother and never once thought about going against her. Then I see my kid sister walk all over her parents and its just like.... what happened?
 

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Wow, you've been through a lot, Cissylu. My sister's adhd son has been a lot for her, due to being impulsive and changing his mind a lot. Lots of anger, too. I don't know how she made it through his teen years.

I will be praying that this straightens out for you and your family, and that Michael stays home and in school.
 

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What does he want to do???

I would suggest military school.....he sounds like he needs structure and a schedule.....they can give him that and more.

I would say that a lot of his anger is from his childhood.

You are a nice grandma for trying so hard to help him.

Kind Regards,
leezza
 

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((((HUGS))))

It sounds like you have had a rough road to go down over the years. I can understand your grandson's feelings for his dad, but your grandson is almost a man in the eyes of the law. He needs to take responsibility for his decisions and his life if he is ever going to get anywhere. ADHD does make things harder for kids/adults but, it should never be used as an excuse for bad behavior and the symptoms of ADHD can be managed with the proper medication and consistency with rules/consequences. I have 2 sons who are ADHD and while their behaviors were harder to deal with they understood what was expected of them. Skipping school, driving a car without current tags/insurance is illegal anyway, but taking someone's car without permission is auto theft. Sounds to me like grandson needs some "written in stone rules" concerning his behavior, with the consequences spelt out as to what will happen if he breaks those rules.

When my daughter was just barely 17 she thought she didn't have to follow the rules (skipping school, taking car without permission, etc)...I threw her stuff out her bedroom window and told her she could come back if & when she could follow the rules. Six weeks later I got a phone call in the middle of the night from her begging me to let her come home. Well I went & got her and she did follow the rules the rest of the time she lived with us. Now she is a productive person with children of her own and she gets the picture.

Getting an education, should never be optionable...he won't get far in this world without one...
 

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Going into ROTC requires going to school. He may not realize that. He might be able to get his GED and go straight into college and do ROTC, but he should talk to the recruiters about it and find out what the rules are. It might be a good thing for him because it would force him to exhibit some discipline, and also would take care of both the education and the early job experience. That said, one must also recognize that ANYone entering the service may be sent to war - is he willing to take that risk?
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Hello!

What does he want to do???

I would suggest military school.....he sounds like he needs structure and a schedule.....they can give him that and more.

I would say that a lot of his anger is from his childhood.

You are a nice grandma for trying so hard to help him.

Kind Regards,
leezza
Hello Leezza! Thank`s for replying ,sometimes I think the military school would be good for himwould be a good place for him.
Your right he does have a lot of anger from his chid hood. He was 7 when he
came to live with us.
His mom or dad didn`t do by him like they should Have. His mother has seen him for yrs. and call`s him every night.she has every other weekend , but
we don`t stick to that. I let him spend time when he want`s with her.
His biggest problem his anger comes fromm the way his dad treated him.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
((((HUGS))))

It sounds like you have had a rough road to go down over the years. I can understand your grandson's feelings for his dad, but your grandson is almost a man in the eyes of the law. He needs to take responsibility for his decisions and his life if he is ever going to get anywhere. ADHD does make things harder for kids/adults but, it should never be used as an excuse for bad behavior and the symptoms of ADHD can be managed with the proper medication and consistency with rules/consequences. I have 2 sons who are ADHD and while their behaviors were harder to deal with they understood what was expected of them. Skipping school, driving a car without current tags/insurance is illegal anyway, but taking someone's car without permission is auto theft. Sounds to me like grandson needs some "written in stone rules" concerning his behavior, with the consequences spelt out as to what will happen if he breaks those rules.

When my daughter was just barely 17 she thought she didn't have to follow the rules (skipping school, taking car without permission, etc)...I threw her stuff out her bedroom window and told her she could come back if & when she could follow the rules. Six weeks later I got a phone call in the middle of the night from her begging me to let her come home. Well I went & got her and she did follow the rules the rest of the time she lived with us. Now she is a productive person with children of her own and she gets the picture.

Getting an education, should never be optionable...he won't get far in this world without one...
I hear you and totally agree with what you`ve said.
It has not been a easy travel thru his growing yrs.
Kid`s do need discipline and structure.
Raising kid`s the parent`s have to be in sink and not pull apart.
well dh , just wouldn`t listen to me . I knew what was going to happen.
now it`s here. dh has finally got on board and it`s almost to late.
He alway`s had his mother to use as a threat.
Michael had a melt downlast night. after we punished him for being late.
I talked some and then just he and his pawpaw talked to him. when they finished he came and apoligized. said nan I`m sorry and I love you.
 

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Meltdowns every now again help cleanse the soul and I am glad that he apologized to you. Kids need boundaries, especially with the ADHD and it sounds like he is a smart kid so I am sure he'll figure it out in time. If he wants to be a vet, then maybe he should check into the requirements for becoming a vet. They go to school longer than docs who treat humans from my understanding...which makes an education even more important...especially science and math.

Best of luck and remember no matter what else we have, we always have hope for a brighter future.
 
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