[happimommi]

I agreed last year to babysit my friends children when she went back to work. This year it has evolved into a hour in the morning before I drop off my DD and hers at school. Occasionally I will watch her older boys on school holidays.
Both girls are 5 and started all day kindergarden this year which has been a big adjustment for both of them. But what really bothers me is the spirit of competition that they both seem to have. Each has to outdo the other and it really gets on my nerves. The problem has gotten really bad in the last month as the other mother is someone who doesn't think the rules apply to her daughter. Here each child is assigned a show and tell day, but this little girl has been allowed to have show and tell every day for the last week or so. She is the only one allowed to have a blanket, ect ect. This week she has brought show and treats every day (elaberate showy Halloween treats)
This is causing problems with my own daughter. I am very much a follow the rules kind of girl. But when you have a little girl coming into your home each day bragging about the extra privliges she gets at school, this is really hard for my DD to understand. Add to that the bossiness of this little girl and the hitting that takes place when she doesn't get her way, I am so ready to so I can't babysit anymore.
I guess the last straw was my DD not being invited to this little girls birthday party next week.
I guess my feeling is that just because I am a SAHM doesn't mean I have to put up with this crap. What are your thoughts? What should I do?

 

[QM]

Only you can decide what to do. Try writing down all the pros and cons and see which has more. Do you dread taking care of her everyday? Is she a bad influence on your children? Are there other children in your neighbourhood that you could try to replace her with so you won't lose that extra income?

If I were to decide to terminate care I would start advertising on kijiji before giving them their notice. As per my home childcare contract, I'd also have to give them a written two week notice when terminating care.

 

[happimommi]

I am not getting paid in $, we had agreed that her husband who is a contractor would do some house repairs for us. They are only half done. I was doing this more as a favor because she said they were having a rough time making ends meet.

 

[Izzybeff]

I would just tell her that its not working out and she has 2 weeks to make other arrangements. I would also talk to her DH and agree on a price to finish the work and get it in writing.

I really have a hard time believing they are not making ends meet when she is sending in elaborate Halloween treats to her daughters school everyday. Obviously her priorities are not the same as yours..

How rude for her not to invite your little girl to the birthday party when your kids are together everyday.

 

[FrugalMomof3]

:yeah: I think your sanity and your DD's peace of mind is what's more important right now. Give her 2 weeks to find someone else and have her DH live up to his part of the deal.

Did you set a price in stone? Meaning you babysit for this many hours and he fixes this or that in exchange...???

 

[Momto2Boyz]

I just had a similiar situation in our house. I was talked into watching my best friends (and nieghbor's) baby. It lasted all of three months. The only reason it lasted that long, is because I knew it was going to be an issue, telling them no. Having her here began to effect DH and I and my kids negatively, so I knew it was time for her to go.

I gave her a month to find new childcare and she found it in a week. For the most part, she hasn't spoken to me since, but I figure it is her loss. I have been nice about it, and when she is ready to get over it, I'll still be here to be her friend (her husband, who I was afraid would be the one to hold the grudge was totally cool and understanding about it...I talk to him still all the time).

Anyhoo, I guess my story isn't that helpful. I just wanted to share to say, make up your mind on how to deal with it by deciding what is best for YOUR family, not theirs. And then stick to your guns. It's the best you can do!

And if you do decide to keep her in your house, just sit down and try to explain to your daughter that following the rules is the right thing to do, even if this little girl doesn't think she needs to. Think of a good example to give her, something a 5 year old can understand (like maybe a reward system they use in school) and maybe that will help her understand (explain that when you follow the rules, good things happen and when you don't, they don't!).

 

[happimommi]

Thank you all for your advice, I think I am to the point where I am going to have to tell them to make other arrangments. As for the work on our house, when I say he only did half, I mean he only did half of the agreed on job. The bathroom window is in, but no trim and if has been over a month. Just love having exposed wood as the rain pours down. We are fixing it ourselves this weekend.
And I would have to agree that our priorities are different. A new dance studio opened in town and I checked it out....prices were outrageous for what was being offered. Guess who signed her daughter up?!?!? Time to put my family first.

 

[shortstack]

Maybe she buys all of those things because she feels guilty because she has to work?

Andrea

 

[happimommi]

Maybe she buys all of those things because she feels guilty because she has to work?

Nope, she is just the kind of person that everything she does is over the top. She was twice as bad when she was a SAHM. The upcoming birthday the my DD is NOT invited to is dinner at a resturant then she is taking all the kids to Build a Bear to all get thier own bears. Yup, really having trouble making ends meet. How do you explain to a 5 year old that even though this little girl talks about her party every day, you don't get to go?

 

[QM]

happimommi--Let us know when you terminate care officially. I've had to do it once before and, trust me, even though you're doing it for all the right reasons you still feel crummy. You always have the support of your online villagers to vent to!