[mnmarty03]

I've been having a really tough time at work lately... and just don't know what to do anymore.

I've worked there for about 1.5 years, and despite working hard I still always seem to be told I'm doing things wrong. These aren't big things.. probably the most complained about problem is that I tend to be a bit slow at my work. I try not to be, but it always seems like I end up being slower than they want me to be anyways. I tend to be a person who prefers to work a bit slower and more thoroughly.. instead of fast and sloppy. They, however want me to work fast and thoroughly. I can understand that - but it isn't one of my strengths and is extremely hard for me to do. (I'm trying though).

I'm just so disappointed in myself and feeling like I just can't do anything right at work. To top off the fact that I do make mistakes, my employers tend to be the type of people that always assume you are doing things wrong... so they look for things to be wrong with your work. Of course, the harder they look the more likely they'll find something. I know this, so to top off already feeling bad about myself and my job performance - I'm constantly paranoid that I'm doing things wrong - so that leads me to go slower and be more thorough, which leads to them yelling at me. Then when I go faster and am a little less meticulous, they yell at me for not doing things as thoroughly.

On top of that, I was given a list of things I'm doing wrong yesterday (most of which I had already known about from my manager) and on the list she says that she is happy I have such a positive attitude (i.e. when corrected, I always say "ok. I will go do that." and do) but that I always seem to forget and make the same mistakes again (I don't try to, but I do)... and then she goes on to tell me that I always seem to think I'm doing perfectly fine at work, even after being yelled at/corrected. This makes me so angry! I know I'm not doing perfectly fine and I feel bad when I make mistakes. She basically said I'm being too positive... but the reality is I may be positive on the outside but on the inside, I tend to beat myself up over my mistakes for quite awhile after I get yelled at. Of course she doesn't see that... so now she assumes I don't feel bad.

I know that life isn't fair and in reality I should probably stop whining. I'm just so demoralized... I'm not used to doing a bad job at things - usually things are really easy for me. Making myself stay positive is the way I deal with making mistakes -it's the only way I have any hope of improving. Now I'm paranoid that I'm being too positive. And i'm paranoid that I'm always doing something wrong - or that they will always find something I'm doing wrong. And I'm also paranoid that I'm going to get fired -because my coworker who had a lot of the same issues I do got fired a couple weeks back. And I just generally don't want to work there anymore...

So, I don't know what I really expect to get out of posting this on here... I'm just having a tough time of things lately and am generally miserable. And I feel like no matter what I do, I can't get ahead. And honestly, a part of me wishes they would fire me so that I don't have to deal w/them anymore.

 

[Josephhgoins]

I am going to be super nosy and ask something. Do you work in Patrick Couny VA? This really sounds like an old employer of mine from there. This was her way of justifying not paying you much money. It worked out two fold for her.

First, you felt bad and would be happy making the small amount of money because your work performance was so poor.

Second, As she had convinved you your work performance was poor you worked extra hard to make up for it.

She has been running this scam for years! My suggestion would be find another job. If an employeer cares this little for you then you have no future there. Raises will not come or will be not worth getting. I once had a friend who was onl allowed 20 hrs a week and got a 5 cent raise per hour, her justification was because the lady's husband worked there and they carpooled her expenses were less so 5 cents meant more.

If you are in southwest VA give me a PM, I still have many friends there and may be able to help you find something more suitable.

Thanks and good luck!

 

[mombottoo]

What do you do, if you don't mind me asking. Some managers and owners tend to be anal about the way they want things done. I would rather have an employee who was a little slower getting things done, but did them right; than an employee who worked fast and did things half-cocked...but, that's me and I'm not your boss.

You kept saying "they" in your post, exactly who is "they"? If you have more than one person telling you what to do that could be part of the problem. All I can tell you is do "your" best and if "your" best isn't good enough for them then it is probably time to start looking for another job...but, don't quit the job you have until you have another one. I noticed in your siggy that your dh isn't working...so having both of you not working probably wouldn't be a good thing.

 

[Gardengal18]

Have to agree with Josephhgoins.....sounds like quite a "scam" to me. If you were that bad you wouldn't have been there for 1.5 years now, they'd have gotten rid of you sooner especially in this economy we've had lately, they'd have had NO problem replacing you (especially with all the people who have been out of work they would have had their pick!) So I wouldn't buy too much into this one's BS. Sad part is there are a LOT of employers out there that run this "Scam" in order to not have to pay someone a raise - I've witnessed some employers literally "dig" up something from 5, 10 years prior and use it against an employee when it came time for a raise.

Keep doing your job, keep notes, make sure you CYA (cover your a55) and in the meantime look for a "BETTER" job. Then tell 'em to "take that job & shove it! I ain't workin' here no more....."

 

[frugalwarrior2]

Sounds like every retail job I ever had. It's a manipulation tactic to break your spirit. You see how it's personal. Your too "positive". If you made a list of corrections and fixed them I assure you there would then be another list next week. My old boss used to do this then contradict what she said the week before. Then of course deny it. No win. She was paranoid about the fact that I was a manager. I told her I didn't want her job. then she was insulted. She would take her problems out on everyone around her. I got along w/ all the customers. My unofficial reveiw comment was that I took my prob. out on others and that I did too much for customers and that they would begin to expect it. Next week I didn't do enough to help people after all they were volunteers too. When I stopped listening it got funny. It's all head games. The fact that you are the sole support is being used against you too. Probably should think about a new job.

 

[Hamada]

Have to agree about the head games. The first "real" job I ever had was part time. I ended up being fired from the job. One of the reasons was because I did not know what was going on every day. Well, that is kind of hard when you do not work every day. That said, there are always going to be people who would rather give other people their own problems. After this job I was able to find a much better job.

Try to keep a level head. If this is coming from someone other than your boss, go and speak with your boss. Bring up your concerns. Also that you do try to remain positive since a negative attitude will not help any situation. Explain your way of thinking. Ask if they have any ideas on how you could work differently. You have been there 1.5 years so you must be doing something right.

It would really help if you could tell us what kind of work you do.

 

[mnmarty03]

Sorry, guys - didn't mean to leave out the type of work that I do. I am a zookeeper - so my job is working with exotic animals, taking care of them, etc.

The chain of command here is... Owner at the top, then curator of the park, then my direct manager... the specific discussion points are coming from my direct manager - but she has said that both the curator and owner are unhappy with my work as well.

Another thing I try to remember is that my direct manager is very negative. Today, when I did things better than usual, instead of saying "thank you!" she was very sarcastic and generally negative sounding about it. She, honestly, is a B**** and doesn't manage people well.

I felt better about the situation today - not because work suddenly changed, but because I was able to stop being so depressed and just do what I could. My husband and I are leaning heavily against moving to the DC area, where there are more jobs available (he has one potential job offer through a friend and a phone interview this week). I could also find work, either through this friend of ours or doing something else.. perhaps as a lab assistant.

Thank you for all of your replies... it's nice to hear from other people that I'm not crazy or awful..

Our dinner is done now, but I will keep you all up to date as things happen...

oh, and yes my dh is out of a job - but I will keep mine until I have a new one (unless they fire me that is). And... lol... you guys hit it on the head --> I didn't even get my 1 year raise. And that was back when I was still doing "good" .

Here's to hoping my next job goes better!

 

[mnmarty03]

oops -- meant to say my dh and I are leaving towards moving to DC

 

[Imarachne]

Once I had a job review and my boss said I was a very good employee BUT I was too friendly. Since I am always smiling and generally have a happy attitude-I thought I would just not look up from my desk if someone went by and not talk. I was miserable so I went back to being myself. Shortly after that episode I found another job where I could be myself and I never looked back !!

 

[mombottoo]

Sorry, guys - didn't mean to leave out the type of work that I do. I am a zookeeper - so my job is working with exotic animals, taking care of them, etc.

The chain of command here is... Owner at the top, then curator of the park, then my direct manager... the specific discussion points are coming from my direct manager - but she has said that both the curator and owner are unhappy with my work as well....

Then I would make an appointment with the curator and clear the air...but that's just me...many bosses play the "he said, she said" game and many times what they are saying isn't the truth.

 

[MyMelody]

Believe me, it's not just retail or Patrick County, VA that is guilty of treating its employees this way. I know just what you mean about feeling paranoid and insecure on the job, too, and honestly, the only thing that keeps me at my company is knowing there's no other prospects in the area. I wish you best of luck in resolving your worries whether you stay or move!

 

[ravenwolf31]

You know, mnmarty03, sometimes it is good to just write and get it off your chest. It helps relieve stress, and it seems like you are under a lot of pressure.

 

[Siebrie]

She sounds like my boss, but my boss is in a completely different part of the world! I've been with this company for 2 years, and just got my first 'thank you' from her last month. The pay is good, and at this moment I'm the breadwinner, but I keep my eyes open for something else.

 

[vlmurray]

Mandy - this boss is everywhere! Mine told me you're either on the train or off the train. I jumped off that train and didn't get hurt. hahahah

You wondered what you would get when you posted this to the list. I hope you feel the encouragement and prayers. And from the experience on this group, you are so not alone. Sounds like most of their have been through this and survived and smiling! You will be too!

Keep us posted. Love and prayers!

 

[mnmarty03]

It's sad to hear that so many other employers treat their employees this way. Is it really so much to ask to be appreciated for your work (provided you work hard)?

As far as my stress levels go, I'm under quite a bit. My dh is out of work w/no prospects until this week, our truck needs new tires, and my boss isn't happy with me. It's all really just a bit too much, hence the thinking about quitting my job - especially because there is nothing in our area for my dh and my income can't support us beyond the month of February (when our savings run out).

I do work a job that I generally like - who gets to say they work with giraffe, bongo, zebra, bison, etc. ? It's a job you have to move for to be successful (you go where the jobs are) but so far in my career I've always worked for small companies and gotten the short end of the stick. I'd like to try my hand at a larger facility, but I also realize they're tough to get into. That's why I'm thinking volunteering at the National Zoo might be a way to get in there sometime in the future. I have a friend who did that and got a job there and know others have done the same at other large zoos.

The biggest thing I hate at work is the lack of positivity. The curator is usually positive - but my manager and the owner often times aren't. It's frustrating to me and gives me those feelings of not doing anything good enough. I'm also frustrated lately by the fact that I have a bachelor's degree and work in my field - but I could make more scanning documents at a law firm in DC. When I told our friend this (who works at that law firm) her and her daughter both just sort of sat there shocked, lol.

In any case, thank you all for your advice (and if anyone else has some, feel free to add it!). I'm still a little hesitant on the moving to DC being the right decision... but like a friend of mine said, you have to go where the jobs are... and that's where there seems to be jobs.

In the mean time, I'll just remind myself that we're working on leaving this area everytime my manager is dumb.