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Hello, I have a question for whomever has an opinion on the subject. I currently work full time and take care of a household. My hus. and I are going to sell the house and move out of state. We have no children. He has made me an offer for which I'm in great deliberation. Normally, I think many would jump at the chance, but I'm just not so sure. He has told me that if I don't want to work anymore, I can quit. When I asked him what I would do all day (there's only so much cleaning I want to do in a day), he replied, "whatever you want...read, take the dog to the beach, shop, paint the sunset...whatever you want." We're not rich, but we could make ends meet on one income. He says I worry too much about "doing" and don't spend enough time "being." What would you do?
 

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I think if it makes you happy to work then by all means continue to work. But, if your husband is for being the sole provider and it doesn't strain your budget and you want to stay at home why not?

You could work part time at a job you absolutely love, volunteer, go to school etc.

I think it sounds like your hubby is going to support whatever you would like to do and that is fantastic.

Whatever works best for you and DH will be the right choice. Good luck to you.
 

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That seems like a sweet gesture from him... is he always so supportive?
I was a stay at home mom for a number of years while my kids were young. It took some adjusting to get used to it, but I eventually settled in. Money is helpful if you have it and are able to not stress over getting the bills paid, but are you someone who could feel content not working and not bringing home a paycheck? There is something to be said for having a job and feeling like an equal in the marriage, and then yet some women feel very content to take care of the home. It really depends on you, I guess. Another thing to think about is that you would be in a new environment and will need to find new friends/support systems. Would a job help you find that? Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
 

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You need to ask yourself some questions. Do you find your job satisfying? In other words, do you enjoy working? Whether it's making money, being with people, or having fun at what you do. Does your work contribute to your well being? For me my work contributes to my well being. I love what I do. I don't make a lot of money but I get great satisfaction from my job. I don't have any intention of quitting. I do enjoy my time at home. Sometimes I wish I had more time to do things around the house. I have a few hobbies: knitting, crochetting, sewing, gardening, walking, and reading. I enjoy caring for my family and doing the day to day things like cleaning and cooking. I want to start canning. I could list a bunch of things I want to do. I could never shop for recreation. Shopping is a waste if time and money in that respect. If I were supper rich and could stay at home I'm sure I could fill my day. I would volunteer for Hospice or another worthy organization.
 

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I had the same offer
basically

but I love what I do
and even if I didn't
I would still work part time
that will def change when we have a munchkin or two
but for now, I don't know if I could keep myself entertained enough staying home ALL the time
 

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Have you ever heard of the book, Your Money or Your Life? It is by Vicky Robin and Joe Dominguez.
It might help you with your choice.
 

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Wow, you are blessed with a very supportive DH. :)

How do you feel about working? Do you have a career you've been building, or have you been working just because it was what you expected to do? Does most of your socializing come from work friends, or do you make a lot of friends outside of work? Will the loss of your income limit your opportunities as far as hobbies, vacations, or other interests?

In a new area you'll need some way to meet people... maybe a church, maybe a club, maybe bumping into people at the local library/ grocery store/ hobby shop. Or maybe at a job, either full-time or part-time.

You have so many possibilities-- you could take a PT job in something you've never done before, just to try it. You could volunteer with lots of places.

Whatever you decide, best wishes!
 

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That's a hard question that only you can answer for yourself. Me, I was mainly a SAHM who worked when things became tight from time to time. If you aren't comfortable with the idea of not working, then you will end up not being happy about your choice. Have you tried listing the pros vs cons?

No matter what you decide to do, I hope you are happy about it!
 

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If you enjoy working then keep working. For me, it would depend on many things. How old you are and if you have plans in the future for kids, etc. If the answer is yes, to the kids then I would keep working until I had them and get all of my finances in order before quitting. That is just my opinion.
 

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Hello, I have a question for whomever has an opinion on the subject. I currently work full time and take care of a household. My hus. and I are going to sell the house and move out of state. We have no children. He has made me an offer for which I'm in great deliberation. Normally, I think many would jump at the chance, but I'm just not so sure. He has told me that if I don't want to work anymore, I can quit. When I asked him what I would do all day (there's only so much cleaning I want to do in a day), he replied, "whatever you want...read, take the dog to the beach, shop, paint the sunset...whatever you want." We're not rich, but we could make ends meet on one income. He says I worry too much about "doing" and don't spend enough time "being." What would you do?

I'd consider his words and try being a human "being" for awhile, not a human "doing"...
you may find you like it.

He sounds like a smart guy.
 

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I'm hoping to be in a similar situation within a few years and depending on the day I have had at work, I feel I could let my fiance support us for awhile. We don't have children yet, but once my fiance has completed his Doctorate Degree he wants me to have a chance to get my Master's or Doctorate Degree or begin a family or write a book or whatever I want to do at that point in my life. Many days I think I will take him up on his offer.

Your husband is very kind to want to let you be you for a change, instead of having to bring home 1/2 the income and be in charge of running the household too, it can wear a person down. I would consider taking it easy, maybe only work part time and see if that suits you better. I think it's a great opportunity to discover yourself, especially if there hasn't been much time for that before.
 

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Have you ever heard of the book, Your Money or Your Life? It is by Vicky Robin and Joe Dominguez.
It might help you with your choice.
Great advice.
 

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Hello, I have a question for whomever has an opinion on the subject. I currently work full time and take care of a household. My hus. and I are going to sell the house and move out of state. We have no children. He has made me an offer for which I'm in great deliberation. Normally, I think many would jump at the chance, but I'm just not so sure. He has told me that if I don't want to work anymore, I can quit. When I asked him what I would do all day (there's only so much cleaning I want to do in a day), he replied, "whatever you want...read, take the dog to the beach, shop, paint the sunset...whatever you want." We're not rich, but we could make ends meet on one income. He says I worry too much about "doing" and don't spend enough time "being." What would you do?
Ms, I am wondering...
do you have trust issues? because most women in your situation would be very happy to be a human "being"
I dont know what could make you afraid of doing whatever you want to do...
??????
I don't work outside the house but I'm never bored. There is so much to do, like redecorating, cooking, and just enjoying life.
You in your relationship will maybe find BALANCE. I would highly reccomend if you are in a situation to not work outside the home, with a husband who can provide for you and your needs as a family ( your not broke)
that you do it.

You can always go back into the rat race at any time, its not going anywhere... if you find yourself truely miserable taking the dog to the beach for a walk and all lifes simple pleasures you aparently are not very familair with.
People get too caught up sometimes in "doing" and forget how to be a human "being".

Sounds like you have a husband who understands that.
Your lucky.

Your profile does notlist your age...
maybe your in your 30's and trying to prove yourself or make a mark in some way...
could be your distrust of his plan has to do with this. not sure.

But I'd say you should at least try it, you may like it
( I do)
 

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I've been a SAHW (no kids) for almost 9 years now. I love it! You really do find valuable ways to fill your days. While admittedly, I probably spend a little too much time on the computer, I also have plenty of other things to do. Once I started staying home, I discovered that I love to cook. I'm always on the search for interesting new recipes to try.

I manage our finances, so I watch the grocery ads each week and shop accordingly. I'm in charge of taking the cars in for all repairs and maintenance. I run most of the errands and take the cats to the vet when it's time for their appointments.

There's so much to do besides just cleaning, so don't let that be the reason you'd don't try this. If you enjoy crafting, you'll suddenly find that you actually have the time to do it! Same with any hobby.

Only you can answer whether or not this is something you want to do. If you really enjoy working, then you'd probably want to continue doing that. But if you're constantly stressed and in a state of trying to do too much with too little time, then staying home may be the perfect solution.

An added bonus to all this is that it can be such a blessing for you AND your husband. Once I became a SAHW, my husband could focus on his career and church ministry without having to also worry about coming home to help clean or run errands in the evenings. We both get to relax when he's at home, so we both enjoy our evenings now.
 

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It's up to you and your DH- if it'll work for YOUR relationship.

I just became a Stay at home wife- no kids- last month. I've found I can save a lot of money by cooking all meals, including sending DH with a scrumptious sack lunch to work. I manage the house, finances and take the dog on long walks.

I'm planning on volunteering once or twice a week somewhere with a cause I'm passionate for.

There's plenty of choices out there! Good luck with your decision!
 

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Well, first thing I would like to say is, it sounds like you chose well.....and that you have a wonderful man that loves you and wants you to be happy.

I became a SAHW last summer after a layoff and at first I was very nervous and worried about money......but I settled in and really enjoy it now. beyond the keeping of the house, and cooking most items......I have found that I am able to devote a lot of time to saving money and getting financial items taken care of....It is kinda cute that my husband tells people with pride that I am a coupon queen, (even though I am not able to get the deals some of the others here get, YET).

Myself I really enjoy reading and have done alot of that.

Be happy and make the best decision for you : )

Best Wishes,
leezza
 

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Discussion Starter #17
What fabulous input to the stay-at-home by choice question!

I had no idea I would get such fabulous--and varied--points of view here. Many of you pointed out things I hadn't considered, and others reinforced what I had already presumed. Thanks so much! Although I haven't decided what to do yet, I certainly have a lot more angles from which to work and make the right decision for my hubby and myself.

And yes, my hubby is that supportive and smart. He draws people to him instantly because of his abilty to "be" while others are busy "doing." (I just wish I could get him to put his dirty laundry in the hamper and not on the floor) :)
 
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I just wanted to add that in addition to possibly becoming a SAHW, you're also moving out of state. We moved out of state once for DH's job, and when I was home by myself I was very lonely and depressed - I ended up working part-time mostly for my sanity and to make some friends (it wasn't for the money or anything close to my career or work skills). I don't think it was being at home as much as being far away from my friends and family that really made me want to work.
 

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I had no idea I would get such fabulous--and varied--points of view here. Many of you pointed out things I hadn't considered, and others reinforced what I had already presumed. Thanks so much! Although I haven't decided what to do yet, I certainly have a lot more angles from which to work and make the right decision for my hubby and myself.

And yes, my hubby is that supportive and smart. He draws people to him instantly because of his abilty to "be" while others are busy "doing." (I just wish I could get him to put his dirty laundry in the hamper and not on the floor) :)

You can shop for a hamper that looks like a basketball hoop...
just for him... he'll have hard time passing it up.......
:hurray:
give you something to shop for.
:king:

if you really get into the stay at home, you'll be able to make out of of
coat hangers and fabric, thats portable, fold up, that doubles as a hammock
and sun shade...
lol
:hurray:

oh how lucky you are, don't tell any of your friends, they will start to hate you beacsue your just too lucky to have a guy like that
:cheese:
 

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I think if it were me, and I was going to be moving away-I think I would give it a try!! I would stay home for a while and see what I thought of the whole thing. If you decide that you love it-GREAT. And if not, then you can take your time and find something that you think you would enjoy doing.

Besides, even if you are staying home, you can always frind some sort of work you can do from home helping an organization that you believe in or something, and get that "feel good" feeling going! :D
 
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