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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have realized I am seriously addicted to shopping(things like clothes/shoes for myself) in a bad way :(
The good thing is I'm not putting us into debt or anything like that ...well at least not yet! :eek:

The problem for me is I don't feel happy unless I can buy something new, and I feel like I 'need' something new at least once a week! :(

I do try to find a good deal, but it's REALLY frustrating that I can't just simply turn off my 'need' to shop. For example just talking about it and thinking about not shopping is making we want to cry, how bad is that? :(

I told myself in the beginning of the month that I wouldn't shop anymore this whole month...WRONG!
I have bought more this month than ever I think! First it was a huge spree at Marshalls, I got sunglasses, a new bikini, a new workout outfit, among other things...then I bought a shirt while shopping with a friend, then I bought several things at the goodwill, and several things at target, and I'm sure I bought something at Ross sometime this month, and then the other day I 'had' to run out to Forever 21 to find something 'super cute' so that I wouldn't feel bad about myself! :(

This is just utterly selfish for me to do, and it almost feels like I'm trying depseratly to hang on to my youth by shopping? But not that I'm old, it's just that feeling I get that I'm trying to stay young by always buying something new? I don't know :(

I told my dh to slap my hands if I ever mention shopping again. Sometimes he doesn't help by telling to me to take a hundred bucks and have fun shopping! The frugal side of me says NOOOO but the girlish side of me says TAKE IT AND RUN and that's the one that always wins out!

I really want to start saving money but now it's me that is ruining that chance, where as it used to be my husband. I know that I HAVE to just bear the feeling I get and just NOT shop!!!

I wish there was a 12 step program for people like me.
What can I do girls? Any idea's of things I can do to motivate me not to shop?
 

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Do you have any hobbies? If so, could you work on a hobbie when you feel like shopping. Quilting is a great hobby and when you are finished you have an heirloom that can be passed on to Ayla.

You could also start saving the money you spend shopping and put it into an interest bearing account and save for a nice vacation. When Carl tells you to take $100 and go shopping put that money into your account and go for a walk with Ayla at the park (don't go anywhere near stores though ;) ). When you want that new outfit, put that money in your account and go to the library (or any free activity). It will not take long for you to accumulate enough for a nice trip. You could even set a goal...maybe save for a nice romantic cruise with Carl, or a family vacation to Disney.

HTH.
 

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Can you guys have pets where you're lving? If not, borrow somebody's little dog and walk it every time you feel the urge coming on! Remember, you are wonderful as you ARE. And you're so pretty that you already have a lot going for you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
thanks kathy :)
It used to be my secret plan to stash away the money he gave me for shopping and just not shop...but that didn't work :toothy: But actually putting it in a bank would be a lot better,I wouldn't be able to touch it! :)

My hobbies, well would be shopping :D Ok and exercising but I guess that's not really a hobby. We have a cruddy sewing machine so quilting wouldn't be a option unless we bought a new one...

Oh! I do like to crochet...I'm not too good at it, I don't know the fancy ways of doing it, but I can probably work on a few projects to keep occupied.
 

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I started quilting on a cruddy machine and it lead to a wahm business! Coincidentally I started sewing as a hobby to make me quit wanting to shop. It helped but it doesn't go away. I know it sounds ridiculous but I feel a need to shop every day and I have to fight it. Just thinking of the mall or Target can make my heart race! I know how silly it sounds but it is true! Anyway I started sewing and it has helped tremendously. I have bought 3 pairs of shorts and 2 tank tops this summer. Last summer I bought a few outfits every other week! I also did this for my kids I wanted them to have so much and they do not need it. Now that I have started this wahm business I do not have time to shop which helps but I have to fight the need to go to town everyday! You need to get serious realize this is an addiction and you are going to beat it. I had to go drastic as in giving DH keys to the van so I couldn't leave without him. We moved to the country also not to keep me from shopping but it has helped so much. Maybe try another form of reward for yourself. I have seen your pic and girl you do not need new clothes to feel good! In the last year I have changed my habits so much and it is due to the friends I have made here. I am more than willing to help you if you want. E-mail me at [email protected] BTW I could lend you my 4 kids and you have to take them every time you shop. You will not want to ever go to a store again.LOL
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
thanks so much Lori and mylittle4!! :)

Mylittle4, I could actually probably be able to do a quilt by hand now that I think of it, plus it'd take me longer :D Seriously though our machine we have I can never get the (bobbing?) string that comes from the bottom to ever hook on, or whatever it is supposed to do :( I don't know, the sewing machine might just have a cruddy engineer actually ;)

But you know you are doing exactly what I wish I could be doing and that is sewing my own clothes...its my dream job to even design my own patterns and everything! But I could settle for starting with patterns :D
 

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Your right it is a blast to go to the fabric store and dream up outfits go home and start whacking away at them! I do not use patterns I just cut what looks right. I can't make a hat to save my life though. The best is selling things at festivals and the ladies go change so I get to see them run around in the things I made. So the next time DH says here's $100.00 go buy a sewing machine. I have a Brother that cost 149.00 and I want something with more bells and whistles but this works for now. I have a really good sewing book on ebay right now and it is only at $1.00. My user name is bittickno4
 

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Wait I lied.:toothy: I have not listed that book yet. It is a basic sewing book that covers everything from sewing on a botton to making handbags. I will try to get it listed tomorrow.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
oh wow! You do it all without a pattern too! I'm really impressed!!
I might just have to start doing something like that with skirts, that shouldn't be too hard...
 

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Heather, I taught myself to sew and make my own clothes. You can too, you just follow the pictures. Maybe a good way to start is to make some clothes for Ayla, but use bargain priced fabric. If you do not know how to use your machine, take it to a place where they fix them and just tell the sewing machine "mechanic" that you need to understand how to thread the machine and fill the bobbin, just be your nice self and I am so sure that they would never charge you. I used to make all the kids play clothes at first, by buying an easy pattern for shorts and a top then making mix and match outfits. Nowadays patterns can be had for a dollar for anuthing you want to sew.
 

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Before dh and I got together, he was awful with credit cards and the like. He was making $14.00 an hour and had $30,000 in consumer debt. Before we started dating (we worked together, so we talked alot) I suggested to him to get rid of his ATM card to begin with and I made him hand his credit cards over to me. I kept them at my apartment, so there was no way he could use them. When we started dating and moved in together, I took over the checkbook and took care of the bills to get them paid down (since he'd only pay the minimum, I'd write the checks for alot more to get rid of the bills)

Sometimes, that's what it takes. If you have no money, then you can't shop. But I do kbnow how it is- you're bored, or it's too hot out, so you decided to window shop at the mall and end up walking out with everything that's in the windows. I'm glad I live over an hour from any malls- it's cheaper on the wallet in the long run, LOL
 

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Shopping can be a real addiction. If you are shopping because you feel you "have to" in order to feel good about yourself, this is the sign of an addiction. Here's a website with a lot of resources, even a self-assessment test. http://www.addictions.co.uk/problem.asp

Here's some other sites on it also,
http://4optimallife.com/Shopping-Addiction.html
http://www.indiana.edu/~engs/hints/shop.html

I think the others have great ideas in suggesting that finding a hobby might help. I also wanted to suggest exercise as a hobby. Shopping and acquiring new things can cause a thrill similar to an endorphine rush. You also get endorphine rushes and that "good feeling" from exercising. If you don't exercise a lot the suggestions of taking a walk with your kids is great. Or Ayla bike riding, swimming etc...
 

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I have realized I am seriously addicted to shopping(things like clothes/shoes for myself) in a bad way :(
The good thing is I'm not putting us into debt or anything like that ...well at least not yet! :eek:
Hello aylasmommy,

It sounds like there is an underlying reason to your addiction. We all have addictions. I used to have a gambling one. I eventually woke up to the fact that I was losing money. Many gamblers only think of the times they win or find excuses for their losses. I got over it. I have no interest in gambling anymore.

You will have an underlying problem too. Be it relationship failure and/or self-esteem (problems that I have had too) or whatever the problem may be. But I won't discuss such matters on a public forum.

It is good of people to suggest alternatives to your shopping addiction. However, it doesn't cure the underlying problem. You will only become addicted to your new-found distraction.

I hope you can dig deep down and see where the underlying problem is. Then you can reason with yourself that things are not that bad.

By all means window shop. I used to be an impulse buyer too. (Boy, did I have a lot of addictions!) I still window shop but now I pride myself in just having a good walk for exercise whilst lifting things up, admiring them, putting them back down again and walking out of the shop with a bulging pocket.

I know you can do it!
 

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Not too much advice to offer you, but I wanted to let you know that you certainly are not alone. I too have a shopping problem and I realize that it is rooted in some probems that I am working on in therapy right now. If you have the ability, you might want to try speaking with someone, if you are unable to kick it yourself. A major portion of our debt is from my excessive spending, not necessarily on me, my kids "needed" all those clothes, we "need" to have a ridiculously large amount of food in our pantry, the kids "needed" those toys that were on sale, because it made me feel better to think that. I am working very hard on my impulse control, but it is hard and I did falter at Walgreen's the other day when they had their coloring books on sale for .12 each. Now, we need more coloring books in this house like a hole in the head, but they were only .12 each and they will get used right? In the meantime, I am throwing things away trying to get rid of the clutter in my house. I have a problem, I admit it and I know that I need to stay out of stores right now to get over the major urges I have to shop. Sorry if this is long, I just wanted to share. Good luck.
 

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The original post was from 2003. The reason I am posting this is because when I first started posting I was answering questions and commenting on people's posts who may not even be members anymore or I was trying to help someone solve a dinner party recipe for a party that took place 10 months ago.

With all of that being said I am interested in the topic of shopaholics because I think I was becoming one before I joined Frugal Village almost a year ago.
 

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I have had for the last 10-15 years an addiction to cosmetics buying. I am 53, and I would imagine that some of it was due to aging and my feelings about myself, but I just have an affinity for makeup, creams, etc, also.

I agree with JohnH's idea of shopping but don't buy. Walking away with a pride in myself became MUCH more satisfying than buying and feeling bad about spending ridiculously. I did NOT look any better in the mirror despite all my drawers of 'stuff'. "Things' didn't make me happy. I won't say it was easy at first, but I changed my thinking over time. I built up a whole new view of me and aging. I focused on how great this time of my life is, and how OK I was without having unnecessary junk in my BR cabinets. I looked deep down for the real ME.

For awhile, I just shopped. In order to make sure I wouldn't buy, I would get on Sephora.com and 'imagine' I was buying this pretty lipstick or that nicely (and expensively) packaged cream or lotion....... Then I just wouldn't click on 'submit order'. LOL! Then I would talk to myself about all of the reasons I didn't want to buy anymore. HOw free it made me feel.
 
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