[nealy]

I first want to say thank you for all of your kind words during our painful time this week. You are truly wonderful women. At this point I really don't know if I am capable of making a rational decision about trying again. I go between wanting to be pregnant again so badly I feel sick and never wanting to go through that again. I have to wait at least three months before we try again minimum, Dh wants to wait a year minimum. I don't know where I stand yet. When can I make that decision??? Everyone around me has these new little babies around me and I just feel so sad, (but bitter at the same time) I really want another baby but I don't know if I could go through another loss so soon. I guess I am just venting more than anything else thanks for listening.


Nealy

 

[qponfanatic]

:hugz: Nealy :hugz:
Please don't feel like you have to make a decision right now. Your emotions are raw. It's only natural that you would be feeling sad and bitter too. Don't be hard on yourself or your husband. Both of you are going through the grieving process and you need to cling to each other.
You are in my prayers.

 

[mrscornbread]

I agtree Nealy, there is plenty of time for thinking. In the meantime, take care of yourself, be kind to yourself when you are sad. Allow yourself to grieve as long as YOU need to, grief is useful in being able to cope and eventually make rational decisions.

I wish you a peaceful recovery. Remember we are here for you and you can vent anytime you need to.

 

[heavensent_7]

I agree also, but the feelings you have are completely natural.

When I lost my baby I was told to wait a year. I checked with my doctor and it was for psychological not medical reasons - 6 weeks later I was pregnant Looking back I don't think I gave it any thought at all.

8 weeks into the pregnancy I was bleeding (this had happened the first time!) to cut a VERY long story short I did 'eventually' continue with the pregnancy to full term. But it had it's emotional, mental and personal problems.

I also attended some SANDS meetings and met women who concieved quickly and those who didn't. Everybody is different (you know that) and there are no guarentees that you would have a good OR bad pregnancy the next time round.

Allow yourself time to grieve for your child and for what you have lost. Take care of yourself and mail me anytime you would like to talk ~ I continue to think of you.

I do know some of your pain and there are people who can support you through it.

God grant you serenity. Keep things simple ~ Just for today.

I AM thinking of you ~ :hugz:

 

[captclearance]

Talk to your Doctor and see what is best for your health and what would be best for the baby also........ It will happen, give yourself a bit of time to heal .........

 

[mylittle4]

These feelings of confusion will pass. I think you will know when you are ready. First let yourself heal. I lost the twin to my youngest 3 1/2 years ago and I tear up with the thought of that baby. Do not try to fool yourself you are going through a death in your family and it takes time to heal from this. In my case the hardest was no funeral, no tombstone, I felt that that baby was truly lost. We now have a beaded star ornament that habgs on our xmas tree to represent that baby. When we went as a family to pick it out and hung it on the tree was the moment I began to heal. And that was 9 months after the loss. Please know that we are here for you.

 

[qponfanatic]

Nealy, After we lost our last one in 98, we so wanted to have another but deceided not to. I just couldn't see putting my body through it again not at my age.

I look at it this way, God blessed me with the ones I have, and I am most thankful.

 

[Jerseygirl]

Take care of you and yours and you will know when and if it's time again-or it will be taken out of your hands and a higher power will help it along.---Kellie

 

[mommyto5]

I am so sorry for your loss. We went thru this too in 2001. It was very emotional and every person knows when the time is right for them to make a decision about trying to have another or being done. I hope you find peace soon. Amy

 

[mom2miraj]

I am new to the boards and was just going to post something similar to see if anyone else was TCC after a MC. I had my first last April and then another this January. Please don't let this bother you, because chances are, you won't have a second. We have decided to TTC after I swore in January we would wait at least a year. It is better to wait at least 3 months, but then after that, you just need to go with what you feel is right. I really want to be pg again, but I know will be so scared throughout. I am afraid I won't enjoy it like I did with my dd.

The first MC came a little over 8 weeks, so it was early. This last one, I had bleeding at 8 weeks and knew it was another MC. I had an U/S and everything was fine, so I wasn't worried after that. I had another U/S at 11 weeks and everything was still fine and the baby was active. I came in for a check-up right after my 1st trimester had ended and had no worries. That's when they couldn't hear a heartbeat and a U/S showed the baby had died about 11 1/2 weeks.

If you do decide to TTC again, please feel free to e-mail me for support(or anytime for that matter). Hopefully by then I will be pg and I will be going through the same thing. Like I said, you have no higher chance of having another MC again then you had the first time since you have had successful pregnancies in the past. Once the three months pass, just talk it out and see how you both feel. The first few months are the hardest. I know I will still be scared once I do get pregnant, but I know we will get through it and so will you.

 

[CAGmomof2]

I will be praying for you....

 

[frugalmel]

{hugs} I will be praying for you and your family in this difficult time. Give yourself time to greive. {hugs}