[marlas1too]

well im still here and trying to cope with everything.been in the garden these last days got beans coming up and squash and cucumbers-planted potato's and other things-still the nights are very long and so quiet-still can't sleep very good-im afraid to take pill to sleep-afraid ill take to many-no i won't go that way as jen wouldn't want me to-i get so lonely for her voice-sleep comes very hard-i thank fv for all your prayers-just knowing people are thinking of me helps-all the cats know i'm hurting and are all over me all day and nite-its not unusual to wake and have 3-4 cats sleeping with me-even her cat that would have nothing to do with me before is always near me now--im rambling on now -its hard to lose a loved one then follow with a long time friend-someone i owed life debt to for saving me long years ago--i just need to have someone to talk to sometimes and a hug-i miss jens hugs as we always hugged every day some times 6-7 times a day--i miss that most-sorry to be such a downer---just trying to cope-----may he great spirit protect you and yours fv--love all in fv

 

[RaineyDaye]

((hugs)) - wish I knew what to say to ease your grief

 

[frugalwarrior2]

Still thinking of you too. Glad to hear your garden brings new life, blessings.

 

[Daisygirl]

No advice ....just prayers that time will make things tolerable for you. I think of you often.

 

[mauimagic]

Marla my friend - your message is not a downer at all - the depths of your loss reflect the heights of your love. I am so glad to hear from you and also happy that you have your four legged furried friends and the growings in the garden to call your name and tell you they need attention.

Please come back often to touch base - even just to share what you have done during the day. Still sending aloha, hugs and prayers on the warm breezes from Maui. Take care my friend.

 

[Debbie-cat]

I have been thinking of you often. Take things one day at a time. We are here for you. Take care and hugs.

 

[ktsmama]

Please don't think you are a downer. We are all here for you, just like you would be for us. Keeping you in my prayers!

 

[pinetree]

Keeping you in my prayers.

 

[cab54]

I'm hoping your pain starts to ease soon.

 

[marlas1too]

bad night-found a music channel on our dish that plays love songs 24/7 been crying a lot everything reminds me of Jennifer-im just torturing myself i know-tried to do some gardening today found at a local plant place they had purple bell pepper plants so i got a flat and planted them -jen loved purple-another reminder-now its nearly dark and nothing to do but think in the dark got to get ready to pay bills this Friday for next month and have never done it jen did-we have auto bill pay but all i have to do is enter the amount-hope i don't screw up-im so stressed now everything is coming at me at once-makes me want to crawl into a dark corner and cry-i know all the prayer are coming at me and can feel them -its a comfort to know so many people care about me-ty fv-the days are so long and the nights are longer-i miss her so very much-and i know in my heart she is waiting for me----sorry im being melancholy and depressing--life is hard and long and sometimes lonely-im rambling again-sorry to be so down im really trying to get out of my depression --------may the great spirit protect you and yours --hugs fv

 

[pollypurebred39]

Know that not a day will pass without me lifting you up in prayer. :hugz: I know we don't know each other that well, but I truly wish I could be there with you, to offer comfort beyond this forum. :hugz:

 

[krbshappy71]

I think all the things are you doing are very good grief things to do. The plants, the music, it is all getting it out. CRY, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CRY. You can cry and miss her and love her, there is NOTHING wrong with letting out the grief. We were given hearts to love with, and when those hearts break we have every right to cry it out. Give in to the grief, not in a dangerous way of course (I know how you feel about the sleep pills) but in the healthy ways that you keep writing about. Write, plant, sing, mourn, let your heart pour out how it feels, it will help you to get it out and not bottle it all up where it can do more harm.

Come here and write as much as you have to, we are listening, we care.

 

[NikoSan999]

We're all still here and will continue to be. You're not alone.

 

[onencgirl]

Thinking of you...