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I asked for advice a few weeks back about what to do for mother's day regarding a brunch for either the entire family or just our own part of the family.
Well we decided to just do our part of the family and as it turns out the rest of the family couldn't come anyway because of work commitments, vacation etc.
Plus DH has said that psycho wife will not be in our house again so inviting that part of the family wasn't an option (wonder if he will stick to that forever).

So there were only our 5 kids plus so's, us and my parents in law.
In hindsight it was just as well that there was only our part because the health of my parents in law is quite frail and they couldn't have handled all of us together even though they do love this.

Unfortunately there was a incident during the brunch with my very naive (and usually very sweet) mother in law.

Many of you know about my dh's brother and his psycho wife.
Anyhow yesterday also coincided with nephew's birthday (one of BIL's sons from 1st marriage) and we had been asked (by 1st wife) if we would like to come since - as usual - BIL would not celebrate his son's birthday.

One of my kids innocently asked my mother in law if she would also be going to this birthday since it is on the way home for them (and we would be driving them home). No she replied angrily and I don't understand why you are going. Thankfully I didn't have to answer because my kids said that it was their cousin's birthday and they would be going because if their father wouldn't celebrate it, they were more than pleased to go visit with their ex-aunt and her sons.

This all got a little out of hand because it seems that BIL has been feeding MIL vicious lies about his ex wife. He said that SHE won't help him now they are a bit older (15 and 12) and they are confronting him about the divorce and the fact that he just isn't there for them.
Well he ISN'T there for them and is focussing ALL his attention on his psycho (3rd) wife and their very badly behaved 4 year old. (One good example is that he tells the boys that he has no money to celebrate the birthdays but was now at a Spanish resort with psycho and child for a vacation.)

I tried to say very gently to MIL that maybe she didn't have the whole story since there are often many sides to one story and she hadn't heard the side of her ex DIL and she hadn't heard the side of her 2 grandsons, only what my BIL had said.
Well, she said - she knows all sides (don't know how since I know she doesn't speak to ex DIL and only knows about the boys by what BIL tells her.)
She started to cry softly and I wisely decided to keep quiet since it was an argument that I didn't want to happen and certainly not on mother's day and certainly not because of her poor health.

However she made a remark that really got to me and still hurts a lot (DH agrees that it was wrong of her to say this). She said - no matter what happens I will always defend my own THREE children (this is the lady who has said numerous times that the SO's of her own children will always be treated as if they are her own kids).

We later went to the ex wife's house and celebrated her son's birthday we had a great time.
Our niece and her DH (daughter of DH's sister) also came to the birthday after work since she (and her mother) are also in agreement with us about the birthdays of these kids.

I actually would like to call MIL and tell her how great the birthday was but I have decided that the daily calls that I always make to enquire how things are will not be happening for now.
I really cannot talk with her at the moment.

We happen to know how everything has happened because we have a lot of contact with the two boys from his marriage (15 and 12) and they told us that THEY had confronted their father about why he won't celebrate their birthday any more and won't come to school for parents' evenings even when both parents are asked to come. His answer - he can't celebrate the birthdays because he has no money and has no time to come to things. (He didn't celebrate the younger son's birthday yesterday because he took psycho and their son on vacation to a Spanish resort and he has most afternoons off from work.)

Premium Member
21,255 Posts
Sounds like it was a nice dinner in spite of the drama that happened afterward. Happy Mother's Day. :bouquet:
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