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What a time lately. I keep saying to myself you can handle this.

My buddy has been having seizures and had a series of small strokes recently. Only 40. I can't console her well because her life is spiraling. On top of her problems her mom is very ill and it is not looking good at all. Her dad is having major surgery which will take months to recoup from. I have been more than happy to help her all I can and sure wish I could make it easier for her.

Another friend wiped out and broke his leg. We are helping her out also as he lives alone and we have had snow.



Dh has been having issues since we came back from vacation the end of Feb. He has on and off had blood in his urine on and off for the last 3 years. The Dr has shown no concern because it clears up upon further testing and besides that he has always been healthy as a horse. With his current issues they are looking into some issues that are frightening to even think about. I really wish none of these things worst case scenario had not even even been brought up until they are sure. Dh is very calm about it but I am anxious.

Ds 20 has been a pain and it blew up with me screaming at him last night and giving him the choice of " my way IS the way it is or leave my house". It was ugly. He seems to have gotten the point so far. I was dead serious.

The younger ds has been sick with the flu again.

On a happier note my 14.5 year old Sheppard mix had surgery today and is doing great. The vet called again right before they closed for the evening.

Things need to calm down a bit and we need some answers of what is going on with dh.
 

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omg - too much to handle all at once for anyone. That being said,besides setting your DS straight - what are you doing for yourself?

As much as you want to handle it all, it is impossible. You may want to set priorities and decide what you can do realistically. Any church groups, other friends, relatives or neighbors who could pitch in. I find that others are more willing to help if there are specific tasks they can choose from...such as preparing a meal or two, checking in on someone, driving to an appointment.

Please remember o take deep cleansing breaths for yourself. And check back in here. And vent all you want.
 

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Wowee! That's a lot on your plate.

You must be a nurturer, caring for everyone else.

Try not to worry about DH. Worrying is a waste if energy. Especially if docs aren't too worried. But I can certainly understand if you were :hugz:

In sure your friends appreciate all you've done.

Vent all you want. Feel better.
 

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First of all, hugs to you for being such a good dog mom. Most people would not be doing surgery for an older dog. Glad he is doing well.

I can imagine how worried you are about your husband because I would be worrying also if if was my husband but remind yourself, how many things have you worried about in the past year that have never happened. It seems we spend so much time worrying about things that never happen. The best way to help stop your worrying is to help someone else, it takes the focus off of your problems and you are doing that with your friends.

Even though you think that you can't console your friend, you are doing enough just being there for her when her life is spiraling out of control. Everyone appreciates someone who will just be there for you, no matter if it's just to listen to her vent or cry. It sounds though as if you are doing much more than that and you are a great friend.

If you are like me, I have anxiety over the loss of control of things. I try to then just take one day at a time. "Today is Wednesday, I will only worry about today". If we start looking to far into the future, we will drive ourselves crazy. Make sure you take some time for you each day also.

And remember, don't all kids drive their parents nuts?!
 

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~I wouldn't put too much stock in "doctor not being worried we won't be worried either" unless your DH has seen several at different locations as well as having tests done at several different labs. Some things are easy to miss or dismiss and I know I wouldn't be able to rest until I had the answer to the problem. If it was my hubby, I'd want cancer positively ruled out to be able to sleep at night. Certain medications(which your healthy hubby probably isn't taking)as well as running regularly could also be a cause. I hope you get answers soon!~
 

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Hugs to you...........a lot on your plate. By taking one day and one issue at a time I hope it can all work out and you can get some answers soon.

Breathe deep...........remain calm, and remember to do something for yourself each day.
 

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Thats overwhelming ,i've been there and I'm sorry.
-your friend may have a leaky heart valve and is throwing clots,causing mini strokes. Mine was. I hope they figure it out soon.
-As far as DH could be something as simple as kidney stones passing or not. I would also get multiple opinions.
Like I say to my DR. I respect your opinion,I really do,but at the end of the day I go home in this body and you go to dinner.
The leg will heal,could have been worse. Help her when you can.
Try and stay up,calm and take care of yourself so you can be of the most help.
HUGS!!
 

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Hugs to you and all your group of problems..Take a deep breath pick yourself up and take care of yourself..I know you want to be there for everyone..But unless you take care of yourself you won't be able to be there for all the rest..
 

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Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
Lots of hugs to you.

A few positive things - The doctor isn't anxious, and DH isn't anxious, so you should have no need to be anxious either. Your 40 year old friend is only 40! She is young which means she is stronger than someone having strokes at 60. And now that these strokes have been brought to the attention of her doctors, she will be monitored and stay stroke-free when she is 60!

Keep smiling, and try not to worry so much. :)
Actually the Dr's were not concerned with dh before. With the current issues they are quite concerned and screening kidney, prostate and bladder after what they felt and saw in all the blood tests. Once they do the Hope that makes sense.

The friend with the strokes has been disabled since birth and has lots of health issues. This is just a new one added to her pile. The poor woman. She already practically lives at the Dr's office so this has made it worse and added lots of running.

To be honest I can handle all the running. I have time since I only work very part time. I can not so well handle the stress of worrying about serious issues of health in those I love. I have had it with losing loved ones and no more is allowed! I have lost all of my side of the family but my mom and my brothers child child. I do have a few cousins on my dads side left.

Dh's side has lost a lot the last few years in our age group up to 10 years older(53) all to cancer. Dh currently has a family member in the last stages just a bit older than us. The rate his family is dropping of cancer between ages 40-53 has scared the tar out of me with what they are looking for with dh.

They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle right????


Rabbit~ my old dog is healthy as a horse but deaf as a post. They always check her chart twice because they are shocked at her age. She has a tumor on the rim of her eye. She is home and ticked off about the cone collar.


FW~ I just wrote that down. I am going to mention what you said to my friend when I take her tomorrow for another scan. I do not trust any Dr 100% in all honesty. They missed my celiac for so many years telling me I was exaggerating. Dh's 41 year old cousin has her concerns dismissed until she was stage 4 bone cancer and only had months to live. I think they do mean well but they are very rushed and short of time.

Constance~ I am with you I want an answer. They have dismissed this blood thing for years now with the new things they are investigating. With his family dropping like flies with cancer I want it 100% ruled out. Since that is one thing they are looking for I should be ruled out soon. Nope he is not a runner and zero meds besides a very occasional tums.

Thanks Brat, FN and Frugalfranny. I am not usually a huge worrier. I am very worried about dh. He also has very effortlessly dropped pounds he did not need to drop and just felt run down. I'm praying hard it is something simple!!!! I tend to forget he is not invincible.

Hum what am I doing for me? Does nightly soaks with a trashy novel count?

Thanks aging for letting me vent! I have not mentioned what is going on with dh to anyone at his request IRL until we know what is happening.
 

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Nodmiks hugs and prayers..u have a lot..and yes sometimes it gets pretty damn heavy....

u got lots of good advice here...

yes a trashy novel and a hot bath counts as me time so enjoy it..

Your son could also be acting like a jerk because of everything..

continued prayers going your way....

Pen
 

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Oheo's M~ that son of mine has been a pain on and off since he moved back in in Sept. I think something worked because he has been sweet as pie. He could be worried about his dad. Regardless he is not being a jack ass!

Thanks Brilly. I told dh's dad some of it today because he flat out asked what was up when he came over to visit me. I can't hide anything from that sweet guy ( no wonder his son is such a great guy huh!?) I didn't go into great detail but said he was having some testing done since he has not been feeling well. I told dh what I told his dad and he didn't mind. I told them there was too much going on to be able to keep this all to myself.

I made a really good dinner and dh ate about 10 bites and was stuffed. Where the heck is the guy who eats 6 pieces of chicken with the fixings and asks for dessert? I don't know if it will do any good at all but I take live probiotics daily and told him he should try it. It certainly can't hurt.
 

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I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I will be saying lots of prayers for you and your DH. You are doing an amazing job and you do seem like a wonderful mom, wife, and friend :)
 

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Aww those comments made me smile since I felt like a bad mom today! I forgot dx. He is 17 so no panic on his part. He had to wait an extra 15 min though. I have never done that before. At least he is 17 and not 6.

We got home and it looked like a murder scene. The dog had gotten on the couch and rubbed her face on the arm and back of the couch. She popped a stitch or two and made a huge mess. We made a quick run to the vet to have them check her eye. She destroyed the cone collar. The vet reinforced the new one with duct tape. That dog was real persistent to break the cone. The vet told me to use peroxide on the couch . Worked like a charm. I thought it was doomed being off white!

No news on all hubby stuff. He has several more appointments on the 5th so maybe then? He ate a whole sub so that was great!
 

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sorry about the dog. I got a free cat years ago from a rescue she got her cone off 2x and ripped herself open. I ended up w/ a harness w/ a rope thru it tied to the cone. Felt like I had roped something.

Prayers for your DH. Keep pushing.
 

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Those critters sure can be clever when they want their way!

Dh has more test later today. I am on pins and needles waiting. Mostly for the CT scan results appointment. I am trying not to freak out here.
 

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I think I could breath fire if I had to and torch the Mayo Clinic. Dh's condition is serious. He needs one of their specialists asap. Oh wait, they can't see him regardless of the urgency for 6 more weeks! GRRRRR!!!!!
 

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Pam, they are saying that is the soonest any of them can see him. They didn't say it will or won't make it worse. However with the weight he is dropping and the word they dropped on us it sure seems urgent to us. I told dh that that was ridiculous and maybe he should get all his records and see if he can get in at Marshfield clinic sooner. He is worried they would re-run the thousands of $'s of tests he has had. I personally don't care. I will be calling daily seeing if they can bump this up. Dh can't take 6 more weeks of this. Answers are needed.
 
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