Frugal Village Forums banner
1 - 20 of 31 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,529 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Today I came home, saw the chinese food still there, candy all over the place from the ginger bread house, and then what got me was the ants on the counter, from the chinese. I mean it really was just a mess.

I just got done working for 10 hours, I am not feeling well. And had it.

I texted dad:

There are ants all over the counter because of the chinese food you guys left out. I worked really hard on cleaning the house for you guys and there is candy and crap everywhere :(

Dad replied right away:

OK Ash you don't need to give me a hard time. I havent had a second to do anything. If one more person gives me crap today i'm gonna freak.

I said:

Are you being serious? I was not being rude. I am just telling you about it because it was here since saturday, thats all, and I have to clean it up now which is alright, but I am not allowed to tell you?

He did not respond.

I am so PO'ed. I knew it was not going to help. I feel so anxious right now. Like he is going to come home and storm into my room and start screaming at me. He is so full of it that he has not had a second to do anything. Him and her were here in his room almost all day Sunday watching Movies.

Ugh =/

And the part that I am most PO'ed about right now, is somehow, I FEEL LIKE THE BAD GUY. Why?? Why do I feel like omg, I mad dad mad, I have to say sorry RIGHT away.

If this was DH, or a friend, I probably wouldn't feel like that if I knew they were wrong, but when its dad, its differant.

Ugh. This stinks!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,972 Posts
I'm glad you stood up for yourself. He's older than you and he's supposed to be a role model in your life. He's not supposed to act like a child. If he didn't like being told about things, he should have taken the initiative to do them himself first.

I just feel sorry for his fiancee.

I know he's your dad, Ash, and I don't have good things to say about my own father. But ugh, for crying out loud, people like that tick me off to no end.

I'm proud of you that you said something. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: AnW819

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,529 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
But if you were me, is what I said rude?? Because I was trying to find the words to NOT be rude so we didn't get into a fight about it. I just wanted to let him know about it that it took me a long time to clean up, and now after a long day at work I have to clean up ants!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,575 Posts
Today I came home, saw the chinese food still there, candy all over the place from the ginger bread house, and then what got me was the ants on the counter, from the chinese. I mean it really was just a mess.

I just got done working for 10 hours, I am not feeling well. And had it.

I texted dad:

There are ants all over the counter because of the chinese food you guys left out. I worked really hard on cleaning the house for you guys and there is candy and crap everywhere :(

Dad replied right away:

OK Ash you don't need to give me a hard time. I havent had a second to do anything. If one more person gives me crap today i'm gonna freak.

!
I would not have responded after this.

He said "OK" ..why push it?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,529 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Because the way my dad said ok ash, is not a way how you would say ok ash. Its a whatever ash, are you done complaining now. He says this all the time. Its an annoyed tone. I know it sounds weird, but I know thats what it is. And I pushed it because the "I'm gonna freak" REALLY mad me irritated. I wouldnt say something like that to him.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,575 Posts
Let me put it another way...
If I tell a co-worker that something needs to be done, I figure that person is an adult and does not need to be told twice in the same conversation.
Now I know the history of this and your Dad's track record for cleaning but I would have told him once and then if it does not get cleaned after a day, then I would have an adult *discussion* with him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,935 Posts
Maybe start with "Just wanted you to know that I got home and I found ants in the kitchen....prob from the candy & chinese food left out from Saturday" this way its a statement, not a question or something that needs no reply. Plus its non attacking if you kwim?

But he is how he is...no matter what you do you will feel inferior b/c you're his daughter under his roof.

Remember this: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Knowing this, why do you allow him to do so?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
867 Posts
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

One of my favorite quotes. I think it fits perfectly here Libby :vibes:

Good luck Ashley. You may have to grin and bear it until you leave.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,626 Posts
Don't you apologise for his behaviour. He left the mess, he can clean it up. Maybe it'll help, maybe it won't but in the end you stood up for you and that matters. Keep it up.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,933 Posts
What does his place look like when you don't live there?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
125 Posts
Is your housekeeping part of your rent?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,946 Posts
Quite frankly, I would be embarrassed as the fiancée what is she literally the mentality of a 12-16 year old? Does she not see when she is there that garbage has to be thrown out, candy picked up , dishes done or meals made? It is her mess, going to be her husband and DIL soon and her house soon! Who is she,Miss Piggy? Sorry but coming over there is not a vacation all the time, they both have the responsibility in the relationship to be responsible adults handling a house ,not playing house. Yes your Dads house, but this isn't a buddy coming over! Sorry will get off the soap box now...lol If anyone is giving him stress it is the fact he is going to have a wife soon that can't pick up after them, nor can he, let alone deep clean or cook. Boy once they both realize a marriage is more then the bedroom literally or movies they are going to need counseling and 1-800 call a maid.

I wouldn't have texed either, a start but this needs a kind but serious adult conversation. Sorry Ash, hugs and blessings to you. Glad you at least said something.

ETA: Wow this is ticking me off and I don't even live there....sigh...lol :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: LuLuBleen and Dixie

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,529 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Thanks all. My dad and I only ever text. He is a texter and so am I and while it would of been the muture thing to do; to take in person, the odds of that happening anytime soon was slim to non. I took some pictures with my phone incase dad says something to me, like oh it was not that bad or anything.

We also found a cup full of milk, that has been sitting on the table since Saturday, only a few sips drunk. Yuck!!

He never did text me back though, and while some of my anxiety is gone right now, I do feel better about it and if I see him in the next few days and he is ticked off, I will almost want to laugh, because that is just SO DUMB.

For him to say I have been so busy or whatever he said, I understand, but what about her???

Like you all said, this is soon going to be her house.

And when I am not living here, you can not see the kitchen table, or floor, but kitchen is clean because there is no food in the house for them to need dishes for (unless they get take out).
 
1 - 20 of 31 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top