Joined
·
2,053 Posts
question for posters with adult kids please- or 20 somethings whose parents may have been in the same situation as me and what their parents did
so situation .
background :
have 22 yo ds -great kid no troubles from him graduated college - got a FT job where he interned- company loves him - sending him to school in January etc.
'
grad with alot of student loans ( probably close to 80,000) his choice- he went to a state college could have lived at home but being the oldest in a noisy house of 5 i cant really blame him for living away .
last 2 years of college he lived in a house with 3 friends is use to his independence etc .
now is home
we basically let him come and go as he pleases - i don't monitor him all i ask is if he decided to sleep out at a friends i get a text so i don't worry if his car is in a ditch some where .
We redid his bedroom before he graduated to be more like a sitting area / bedroom - new paint wall unit etc so he could have friends over and it no longer looked like a 12 yo room .
he hates having the loans plans to pay them off asap -he is relatively frugal for a kid his age -wont go out and waste money at a club - casino etc just because theres nothing else to do like many will do - already has paid 2000 more than he needs to pay on student loans that didnt even start asking for money yet .
and also applied to have them consolidated so he can just pay one place ( and get them out of our name too because we are co-signed on 2 of them )
now he is talking about moving out of state closer to where he works with a friend who is known for not being very money wise .
his friend flunked out of college has been taken to court about his student loans from that year has job hopped the past 3 years and its never his fault of course.
Mind you he has known this friend since pre- k - he is kind of like an extended part of the family so i know he doesn't always have the common sense he should have .
my one concern on top of my son loosing the extra money to paydown the debt faster ishow stable is this kid money wise and will my son get left holding the bag - i mean in the past my son wouldn't loan him 5$ because he knew he wouldn't get it back .
according to my son his friend now works with his dad does alot of OT and is making more money then DS . TBH i never really felt he was college material he barely passed HS hated school etc he was best learning some sort of trade as he is very good at that type of thing !
DS says the leases where they may move are for 6 months so if it doesn't work out hes not locked in for a year /
so i am not telling an adult what to do but i am encouraging him to ask his friend if they can run a credit check ( i want the kids to be able to sign for the apartment too not just my son on the lease )
look at a budget ON PAPER ( and at least wait until he finds out if loans will consolidate and if so what his payment will be )
figure in budget -loans rent -cable - utilities - food car insurance etc.
figure the difference between how fast he can pay down his loans if he moves out or stays at home a year or so ( really all he does is sleep eat and shower here between work and going out ) but i figure we are talking 700-800 a month that he could put to loans if he stays at home.
my 19 yo also plays a part in this - she is a bit cranky bossy always rushing here and there from school -to work - to friends and the fact we only have one bath for 7of us and she hogs it alot isn't helping things ( we tried a few years ago to get a second one but the way the house is set up we would have to give up a bedroom and we need all the bedrooms )
going to make sure he knows if things go bad we do not have the financial resources to help him out - .
just trying to think if theres any other things to make sure he considers before making a final choice.
right now the guy who wants them to move in together lives with his grandparents because his parents lost their house in a foreclosure this past spring and the family is living with the 2 sets of grandparents .
i wonder if his friend is making really good money why hasn't he got a 1 bedroom himself by now- i think because of his credit with the school loans issue and i know he skipped out on cell bills before about the same time a few years back.
BUT maybe seeing what happened to his parents made him shape up a bit though financially .
oh and ds wont save any money on not commuting to work because DH works for same company - different branch but in same building and carpools him in 90% of the time unless DH is traveling .
my mom also lives up in that area and would let my son live with her for free if it was just being closer to work but i think its more a wanting his independence back - ability to have his own place for friends to come over etc .
so its going to be his decision 100% in the end just want to make sure he is making a well informed decision .
so situation .
background :
have 22 yo ds -great kid no troubles from him graduated college - got a FT job where he interned- company loves him - sending him to school in January etc.
'
grad with alot of student loans ( probably close to 80,000) his choice- he went to a state college could have lived at home but being the oldest in a noisy house of 5 i cant really blame him for living away .
last 2 years of college he lived in a house with 3 friends is use to his independence etc .
now is home
we basically let him come and go as he pleases - i don't monitor him all i ask is if he decided to sleep out at a friends i get a text so i don't worry if his car is in a ditch some where .
We redid his bedroom before he graduated to be more like a sitting area / bedroom - new paint wall unit etc so he could have friends over and it no longer looked like a 12 yo room .
he hates having the loans plans to pay them off asap -he is relatively frugal for a kid his age -wont go out and waste money at a club - casino etc just because theres nothing else to do like many will do - already has paid 2000 more than he needs to pay on student loans that didnt even start asking for money yet .
and also applied to have them consolidated so he can just pay one place ( and get them out of our name too because we are co-signed on 2 of them )
now he is talking about moving out of state closer to where he works with a friend who is known for not being very money wise .
his friend flunked out of college has been taken to court about his student loans from that year has job hopped the past 3 years and its never his fault of course.
Mind you he has known this friend since pre- k - he is kind of like an extended part of the family so i know he doesn't always have the common sense he should have .
my one concern on top of my son loosing the extra money to paydown the debt faster ishow stable is this kid money wise and will my son get left holding the bag - i mean in the past my son wouldn't loan him 5$ because he knew he wouldn't get it back .
according to my son his friend now works with his dad does alot of OT and is making more money then DS . TBH i never really felt he was college material he barely passed HS hated school etc he was best learning some sort of trade as he is very good at that type of thing !
DS says the leases where they may move are for 6 months so if it doesn't work out hes not locked in for a year /
so i am not telling an adult what to do but i am encouraging him to ask his friend if they can run a credit check ( i want the kids to be able to sign for the apartment too not just my son on the lease )
look at a budget ON PAPER ( and at least wait until he finds out if loans will consolidate and if so what his payment will be )
figure in budget -loans rent -cable - utilities - food car insurance etc.
figure the difference between how fast he can pay down his loans if he moves out or stays at home a year or so ( really all he does is sleep eat and shower here between work and going out ) but i figure we are talking 700-800 a month that he could put to loans if he stays at home.
my 19 yo also plays a part in this - she is a bit cranky bossy always rushing here and there from school -to work - to friends and the fact we only have one bath for 7of us and she hogs it alot isn't helping things ( we tried a few years ago to get a second one but the way the house is set up we would have to give up a bedroom and we need all the bedrooms )
going to make sure he knows if things go bad we do not have the financial resources to help him out - .
just trying to think if theres any other things to make sure he considers before making a final choice.
right now the guy who wants them to move in together lives with his grandparents because his parents lost their house in a foreclosure this past spring and the family is living with the 2 sets of grandparents .
i wonder if his friend is making really good money why hasn't he got a 1 bedroom himself by now- i think because of his credit with the school loans issue and i know he skipped out on cell bills before about the same time a few years back.
BUT maybe seeing what happened to his parents made him shape up a bit though financially .
oh and ds wont save any money on not commuting to work because DH works for same company - different branch but in same building and carpools him in 90% of the time unless DH is traveling .
my mom also lives up in that area and would let my son live with her for free if it was just being closer to work but i think its more a wanting his independence back - ability to have his own place for friends to come over etc .
so its going to be his decision 100% in the end just want to make sure he is making a well informed decision .