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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Depression is not something we talk alot about. But I'm sure there are lots who need to talk about it...

I'm asking, because I am facing sad feelings very often. Too often, that it hurts. I know I have lots going on in my life, with my handicapped aunt and my son, but still...I think a healthy person should not feel depressed so often. I'm ok one day, then 2 days I'm so down, I hardly function. I function on automatic pilot. I know, I come here and post and sound ok, but I bottle it up. I'm embarrassed to share this, because I don't want to seem inferiour to others...and bore you with this.

Do any of you battle with depression?

If so, How do you cope?

Has life become better and brighter as you wake up everyday?

Are the black clouds gone, for good?

Thanks...maybe if we share about depression, we will feel happier, or at least I will...:wall:
 

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I have been diagnosed with depression,there are days just leaving the bed is almost too much. I do take medication for mine,some days it works better than others. It seems the hardest part is loss of control-your moods seem to have a "mind" of their own. My goal for this year is to try to take the control back,I seem to be doing it but very slowly.
I think it is a great idea to talk about depression,and to be able to support each other on "those days" even with just a smilie-those seem to help too:D :toothy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
It seems the hardest part is loss of control-your moods seem to have a "mind" of their own.
That's how I feel, most of the time. It's hard, isn't it, to try to control those black clouds and depressing thoughts?

You're so right, some days, I come here, and a small word of kindness from someone can make me feel a little better on those days. Imagine...a smilie! lol

I'm going to see the dr. soon. I really should. I just don't feel like it, but I will.

Got to go...talk to you later.:) I hope we can share more.
 

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Lucie ~ First :hugz:

I have suffered with clinical manic depression for 17 years. I'm very tired tonight and I can't think straight, but I wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and I'll come back here again when I have something helpful to say.

Hang in there ~ 'This too shall pass'
Much Love
Bev. xxx
 

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Lucie,

I don't have any advice about dealing with depression but I wanted to send you :hugz: and let you know that you are always in my prayers.
 

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I had a great long response to this ready to post....then i got booted.

I wanted to say that I have been diagnosed with depression also...among other things. I have some days where I cannot shake the "dark cloud". And some days where i feel as though I am falling deeper and deepeer into a pit.
I was on medication for it for some time, but since we lost our insurance, we cannot afford the medication, so i had to stop taking it. I was on Celexa and Zoloft. Now I am with a therapist, who is the best. I really like her. (She works on a sliding scale, which helps alot).
What keeps me going are my dh and my kids.... my silver lining. I have my extreme mood swings...attributable to my depression, but even more extreme being attributable to another diagnosis.
It isn't easy, but should you want to, you are welcome to pm me, I would be happy to talk to you about it (or anyone).
One of the worst things is the stigma that is attatched to depression. But knowing that "you're not alone" kinda makes things better.... like knowing that while in the dark in the rain, someone is out there with a flashlight to help you find your way, together. :hugz:
 

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Lucie, I have never been diagnosed with depression, and when I really think about it, I don't think I have the clinical description of it anyway. I am just an overly sensitive, emotional, worry wort. When hard times come my way, I go into a panic until I can see my way through the clouds. I do know that in the thickness of the sometimes melodramatic episodes in my life, I literally take it one day at a time until things seem more manageable. I hope you can try. I have known many people in my life who suffer from "real" depression and the most important thing I can suggest as a person who only really experiences this from the outside looking in is...Get up each and every day. DO NOT allow your self to sleep your cares away, I do know that that is a bad sign. I am not speaking of taking a nap if you are tired or resting when you are feeling overwhelmed, but rather spending large amounts of time in bed as an escape. For many women that is just not possible anyway because they have children to care for.

Go to a doctor and be very truthful, even if it makes you feel embarrassed or vulnerable. Reality is that you wont be saying anything that you should feel ashamed of, that is your inside voices talking. Medication can do wonders. I had a hard time dealing with the stress in my life to such an extent that I was being very mean to all the people in my life. I went to the doctor and told him just that, he found me some good medication, I took it for a while and now feel much better. I have found other ways to cope, like couponing, crafting, studying, now baking bread, but most of all dreaming of the payoff at the end of the road Im on

I wish you luck, peace and most of all joy. Please feel free to ever lean on me if you need to, I am only a pm away...
 

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As far as medication goes,there are some places to get your meds free. Also ask your therapist or Dr about samples,or the programs about meds.. My Dr was really helpful.
Lets keep this thread going-I think talking this way helps a BUNCH:pblow: (see-isn't that funny?)
 

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I was diagnosed in January and put on Lexapro. My dr gives samples to low income patients.
I am off the meds now though, they did seem to help for a few weeks then they stopped. All they ever really did was take the edge off. So now I am back to dealing with it on my own.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks everyone for your advice.:) Each of your experiences and advice is very helpful. I'm sure it will help not just me. And you know what? Just coming here to post this thread, I felt a little better after that...strange? That's what makes me realize, talking about it, is good! It relieves the pressure of carrying this load alone.

I have a thought:

Sometimes, I wonder...when I was growing up, being mad or in a bad mood and even being sad was not a good thing in my family. My dad would get so upset if I would cry because I heard a sad song. He always wanted us to be happy, *all the time*. When we argued, my sis and I, well that was it! He'd be upset. So, I was thinking... maybe I didn't learn to cope with sadness and bad feeling? It's a thought I have...What do you think? Any one of you have not learned to cope with sad feelings? Maybe they are normal, but when we don't know how to make them go away, they stay longer?....

Also:

Do any of you know what the differences are between all these names of medications? I used to take Zoloft. My cousin tells me Paxil is the best for her. Zoloft just made her sleepy...etc...How does a dr. know which anti-depressant to give to a patient? I was less depressed with Zoloft, but I couldn't say I was really happy, either. I just felt less sad all the time and slept better.

*I agree gemmbp-let's keep this thread going*:)

:grouphug:
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Now I am with a therapist, who is the best. I really like her. (She works on a sliding scale, which helps alot).
What do mean by this, Melissa? Working on a scale? I am very interested.:)

Thanks.:hugz:
 

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simplemom said:
How does a dr. know which anti-depressant to give to a patient? :grouphug:
Lucie, I think this one is by guess and by golly. If one doesn't work they will switch around til they find one that does.
The lexapro made me sleepy too, the only difference was i couldn't stay awake, and I wasn't as sad falling alseep.
I do plan to go back to the dr and try different meds, the allergy meds he gave me also quit working when the spring started out.
Just an aside, I have noticed, when I drink soda, my moods get all, manic like, I get more anxious and more easily depressed.
I wonder if any one else has noticed it themselves.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I have noticed, when I drink soda, my moods get all, manic like, I get more anxious and more easily depressed.
Do you drink soda with aspartame? I read really bad things about aspartame and being related to cause anxiety, depression....I can find try to find the link, so you can see...

About the meds...the dr. has to go by trial and error, and see which one is more adapted to our body, as I can see?...mmm...that's interesting.

How are you today? I hope you are well...:hugz:
 

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Lucie, asparatame gives me migraines so if I drink a soda its the real deal with gobs of sugar in it!:toothy:
Yes today is a good day, my moods seems on an even keel. Days like today make me feel normal and forget the grey clouds that come up so fast and hard!
How are you doing today? You know, I look at folks like you with a complicated life, and wonder why I feel so..... whiny! I mean, its just me dh and the boys, and I can not imagine that we do not live a mormal life so whats to be down about!
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Melissa, I'm glad you are feeling good today.:) Don't feel guilty about being depressed even if you have a normal life. ok? :hugz: It shows that depression can hit anyone, I guess...I don't drink diet soda, either or anything with aspartame. I stopped when I found out how it could affect depression...

I am feeling anxious this morning. I don't want to feel this way, but I just feel it inside, below my lungs...you know?

Last night, my ds, went crazy because dh put his baseball cap (casquette-french) Is that how we say it? Everything was going well, he was calm, happy...then bingo! He just became mad and screamed and said he'd move out, and he made noise for 1 hour in his room, banging his bed, singing loud, repetitve phrases of songs, etc...until he fell asleep. And we were calm all this time...

We ignored him(what the psychologist said to do) and it worked, but let me tell you I feel so sad and anxious inside. Why does he do that?..is my question...:( I'm so much afraid of what will happen to him. I love him so much. I want him to be happy. I want to feel like a normal family....

Melissa, thank-you for asking. I'm desperatly trying to feel happy today.:heartsm:
 

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Meds are definately trial and error, I started on Seroxate (sp?) and I was constantly stoned. Then Prozac which made me feel very sick, yet my friend swears by it?? I've had loads, they just keep going until you find something that suits.

I have a write up somewhere on anger but I can't find it right NOW :( I grew up with anger, used for control and escape - a coping mechanism. Anger was 'normal' to me and something I still have large issues with.

Sadness on the other hand is something I can surpress to un-natural levels! :( Another coping mechanism.

I do have lots of info but I'd have to dig it all out and edit it to make it reasonable to post.

Have a great day - Bev. xxx
 

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Depression is such a complex thing. I know that it has touched me and my family and just leaves me with a lot of unanswered questions.

Lucie, I just want you to know that I am sending you the biggest hug I can to comfort you as you figure this stuff all out. People care about you & will be by your side through it all- ups & downs.:hugz:
 

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Lucie,
Isn't ignoring such behavior hard? We went through a phase like that with my oldest. He had much anger to deal with. His dad is not a....... John Walton kind of dad ya know?
I have worked with kids since I was 10 (no kidding!) amongst the lessons I have learned is to ignore behavior that lets the child be in control. Its not easy! Especially when you are trying to bring order to a room full of 2 year olds! However if you let the child see his behavior bothers you, they will continue to act out.
My dh has never understood this. Like when an angry 10year old hollers "I hate you". Me, I say thats fine I still love you, dh says, you apologize to your mother right now, and the fight is on!
DH is finally starting to get it, and calm down.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I'll be looking forward in reading your information, Bev.:) Thanks so much. Take the time you need to find your stuff. ok?:hugz:

Thank-you Darlene!!! You are so kind!:hugz:

Melissa...yes it's hard to ignore bad behaviour!:toothy: I have a very hard time with that...I used get mad and tell my ds to stop or go to his room, all the time...but now I know it doesn't work..*sigh*... My dh is more patient...but his patience is wearing out...but with the help of the psychologist's tips we are working hard at it.:)

Ahhh...life!
:toothy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
:grouphug:
Lucie, Bev,gemmbp, both Melissas, Robin, and anyone else touched by depression. I'd have to say for me, I'm closer to what Robin has described. It get overwhelming at times. I have learned over the years that when I feel a panic attack or that heavy depression feeling coming on that I need to change gears fast. My kids know the warning signs in me and are great at saying "Mom, lets go for a walk" (or to the park, on a drive, anything to distract me). That helps quite a bit. So does prayer for me.

I grew up in a home where we were expected to "look and act perfect" to the outside world. We lead a very stressful life and I begged for us to get counseling, but we couldn't because then people would know that we were not "perfect". UGHHH! I was sexually abused by a family friend, who was also one of my Dad's employees,for years and even when I freaked out when my mom told me I was going to be getting a ride alone from him one night (they didn't know about me being abused up until then, but they knew he had been inappropriate with other girls), the response was, calm down, we'll find you another ride. Here I was screaming, shaking, crying histerically and yet nothing was done. It was swept under the rug and to this day (I confronted my mother on this when I was an adult), she still forbids me to tell my dad because it might upset him and makes excuses for not doing anything.
I left home the summer between my Junior and Senior year of high school and did return back at the end of the summer because of my mother's begging. She kicked me out 3 days later and we finally got some family counseling. Best thing for all of us!!! I never did tell the counselor about my abuse though, I had stuffed it down so far that it only came out in bits and pieces in adulthood. I did learn that I was not "nuts" like my mother wanted me to believe, but that she had some real problems and refused to deal with them. I have to say that she is finally starting to let go of some of the anger and hurt that she has suffered in her life and doesn't get as deeply depressed as she used to (it runs in our family). I am a strong believer in medications to help balance out chemical disorders and to help people come out of depression if they need them. There is no reason why anyone has to feel so badly, it's just not fair to them or those around them. I get really angry at people who look down upon others who need to take meds. I have a former pastor like that and he inflicted some terrible damage to people who were suffering from depression telling them it was all their own fault. :furious: That is one of the biggest lies I have ever heard. I'm stepping down off my "soapbox: now and calming down.
Never feel badly about seeking the help that you need to overcome depression. It's a very real and crippling disease and no one should have to suffer through it! :hugz:
 
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