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Why did you choose not to have children and how have people reacted?

DH and I have always known that we didn't want children, so we were very happy to find each other. We still get a lot of well meaning comments about how we "have time" or will change our minds, etc., but we just smile politely and know that we won't.

Luckily my inlaws think we're "smart" so we don't have to contend with the guilt of not giving them grandchildren.
 

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i've still got time to change my mind but since i'm genderqueer it just doesnt sit well with me to be pregnant for 9 months!
 

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We didn't choose it.
 

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Kids are a lot of work, and they are expensive. I realized early in life that I could barely support myself, and didn't feel it would be right to bring children into the world at that time. I wanted to go to college, and I knew I couldn't afford that and babies. Add to that, the right guy didn't come along until much later. We decided not to have any, he had two from a previous relationship and I felt that my life was full enough without children. I love my brothers' kids when we visit, and DH's when we see them. No regrets there.

I have cats to keep me company at home, and to give affection to, and nobody calls the police if we leave them alone and go away for the weekend. :)
 

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We didn't choose. Both of ours died in their 20's. So, technically we're more empty- nesters I think. I dunno. I find that kids annoy the crap out of me anymore. They just come across so spoiled and demanding. I really don't remember mine being that way but maybe I'm making them out to be angels now when in fact they weren't when they were little.
 

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Ok, so TECHNICALLY I'm not childfree, but biologically, I am. No pregnancy, no childbirth, no nursing...none of that. But we did "save" 3 children from lives full of dispair in orphanages in desitute locations.

(ok, not that I am saying "look at me, yea me", but for many, the reason to be childfree has to do with the impacy on the environment and society, and so in that regard, I "fit the bill")
 

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I'm sorry to seem ignorant....but I'm still trying to identify what *genderqueer* means??? Is that another term for asexual? Just curious.....(really...I have no idea)
 

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I'm sorry to seem ignorant....but I'm still trying to identify what *genderqueer* means??? Is that another term for asexual? Just curious.....(really...I have no idea)
genderqueer has to do with gender identification. i'm both a boy and girl mentally and a girl physically. its like being a transexual and a "normal" girl. most people dont get it.
 

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I'm sorry to seem ignorant....but I'm still trying to identify what *genderqueer* means??? Is that another term for asexual? Just curious.....(really...I have no idea)
.....yea, I have to admit, I read it a few times myself.
I gathered it was something like the answer she gave...(lol, it is SHE, right?? lol)
:)
 

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.....yea, I have to admit, I read it a few times myself.
I gathered it was something like the answer she gave...(lol, it is SHE, right?? lol)
:)
i'm not a fan of pronouns. i usually just go by Danni
 

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Hi Danni (no disrepect meant, I hope no harm done, I'm sorry)
:)


Um, I think we have highjacked this thread (sorry OP)

back to the childfree question:

:)
 

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Why: expense, enormous responsibility, lack of free time, fear of losing myself, feeling like my life would end the moment I became a mother, expense, expense, expense, noise, lack of tranquility, cats would be jealous.

The people who count the most -- family -- have been very supportive. Some of them are CFBC, too.
 

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I've felt that way since I was a child, I never played house, or mommy and I do not feel comfortable around babies. As I got older, I honestly just don't think I could do it, and I would probably be mad all the time or feel guilty.

Also, it isn't something I'm willing to risk, you know, just have a child and hope it all works out? kwim?

DH had a fantasyland childhood and never considered not having child, but also never really considered it either. I think if we had kids, I would be the one taking care of them, and that is not what I want for my life. Also this last year has scared the crap out of me, and I don't know how my parents made it through, but I don't think I could handle a child going through what I went through.

That being said, who knows? I'm a different person then I was 10 years ago, maybe I'll change my mind. I doubt it. :D

~KB
 

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lgw I just have to say, I love your avatar, is that your cat? I have one very similar, mostly white with a little tabby. I swear he gets that look on his face too, mostly when he wants my lap that was already occupied by my laptop!
 

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lgw I just have to say, I love your avatar, is that your cat? I have one very similar, mostly white with a little tabby. I swear he gets that look on his face too, mostly when he wants my lap that was already occupied by my laptop!
Yep, that's Sam, one of two boyz we have. He's only 2 and quite the handful!
 

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Not to sound like a total ignoramous, but Muse, I'm really glad you posted this because I have always wondered how people who chose to be 'child free' came to their decisions. I have known a couple of people who were motivated to remain childless due to their own horrific childhood.

I have always known that I'd have kids so I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that even though I've tried to 'understand' the choice I've never been really able to and it's not something you can easily bring up in conversation without either seeming to be too nosey or disrespectful, ya know? I'd love to hear from more of our members who choose to be child free......inquiring minds need to know (seriously---help educate me and others).
 

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I have enjoyed reading this post. I try my hardest to respect people's decisions, especially with children. They are a lot of work, very time consuming, and sometimes down right self-centered. I totally understand why people would choose to not have children.
 

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Well, its not just one reason for me like it was to begin with. I do agree with many of the reasons already given. For me, I thought I would have children when we first married. Then life happened & I needed time to heal. Once I got through it, my life went in a different direction.

I can hold someone's baby & it feels natural to me, but I just don't want one of my own. I'm just not into the kid thing, no desire to have them I guess. We both had good childhoods, but just aren't going to have kids.
 

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I too, had a pretty darn good childhood and I still am very close with my parents. So that didn't have any impact on my decision, although sometimes I tease my mom she set the bar too high and I don't want to follow that act. :D

~KB
 
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