[Jilly50]

My job is killing me. I work as a customer service rep, going back to work last year after a divorce . I am 50 years old. I had been a stay at home mom for years. Corporate America is not friendly. Multi tasking has been elevated to an absurd level, manners are basically gone and I dont cope well with my personality. I am not naive enough to think money will rain from the heavens if I quit (although I do give God the glory for providing for me in many ways since my divorce....it did literally rain from heaven LOL)...My current job....holy cow. A new compuer system coming in.....we have had a total of two hours training. I have told them the program isnt working well on my computer. I am basically told I am "doing something wrong". Well no kidding...I've had no training, but the program does malfunction and toss me out frequently. I am screamed at by customers and sneered at by co workers all day long. I know life is never easy for anyone, but really...I am not sure how much more I can take. Our company gave us medical insurance a; few months back. I stay for that reason at this time. Any ideas....thoughts......anything....I am sinking . I am unable to heavy lift due to health issues or I would get a job at Wal Mart (my son works there, so i KNOW it is not an easy job...but it wouldnt be stuck staring at a computer all day).....I have no debt, by the grace of Almighty God and I thank Him. .i'm need some input...and some Xanax. Thanks in advance.

 

[tbs727]

I don't know why you don't think you could get a job at Wal-Mart. My husband worked there with all kinds of people, really young to really old. They have lots of different positions that require different levels of physical activity and could place you in a job that suits your abilities. I would encourage you to try, it couldn't hurt, right?

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Jilly50]

I don't know why you don't think you could get a job at Wal-Mart. My husband worked there with all kinds of people, really young to really old. They have lots of different positions that require different levels of physical activity and could place you in a job that suits your abilities. I would encourage you to try, it couldn't hurt, right?

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

thanks...who knows...may try it....i cannot lift which puts me out of a lot of the positions (i couldnt be cashier and lift bags, for instance)........thanks for the input.............my son works there and makes more than me and I do detailed computer work.....go figure! .....I am proud of him, he works hard. thanks again.

 

[Patty A]

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I totally understand what you mean when you say you can't lift. Its hard to find a job of any kind that doesn't include some kind of lifting. I agree that you should try Wal Mart, they have a job there that is called a "greeter" and all they do is greet the people that come in to the store and tag things that are being returned. It sure would be easier on you than what you are doing. I know that its hard to be back in the work field, and people can be so mean! Manners really do seem to be a thing of the past, and working with the general public isn't easy at all even when things go well. Hang in there and check out Wal Mart, you might even try KMart and ask for a straighteners job. They walk the store and fix the shelves, it isn't any lifting and its really easy work. You just pull all the things on the shelfs forward so they look nice. Please don't let this get you down, and as far as the computer work goes....
you can't learn when you have had two hours of training, but they always think they have given you enough. Don't let it get to you, hang in there and something will come along that HAS to be easier, just don't give up. :rollsmile

 

[Teresa T]

Do you take phone calls? And have to deal with unhappy people? A lot? That would be difficult enough. But with the added poor working environment and co-workers that makes it worse.

I know what it's like to be self supporting and it can be scary. I would suggest staying at your job and look for another. Keep your job for now, search and hopefully you can find a much better environment.

As I nurse, I know what it is like to have "customers" treat me like dirt. Not the patients, it's their families and visitors. But at least I work with mostly decent people to vent with.

Don't despair please. Keep looking.

 

[pip]

I've heard that Starbucks has really good health benefits, not sure of the hourly wage, but would that be a better environment?

 

[Trishagirl]

I hear ya on the multi-tasking job I have one of those and today was a dilly of a day felt like a chicken w/my head cut off. Glad I survived another week. I thought I would love my job, but now rethinking that deal. Mostly my supervisor thinks she's miss perfect and keeps pointing out things I don't get done. I told her I didn't have the time that was the truth. I did them when I had time. She should be glad I did them no so picky ugg!!!!!

 

[madhen]

I say this sincerely because I have a reputation of not being very social at work. I am "all work and no play" and I don't tolerate a lot of socializing when I am trying to work. I once got an evaluation that stated that I needed to stop working so much and start socializing more. I never thought much of it, until a friend of mine told me that people thought I didn't like them and didn't care about them, because I rarely asked how they or their families were doing, and I never engaged in the hallway conversations about pets and such.

You should stop and seriously think about whether you are somehow sending a signal that makes people unpleasant to you. Maybe your frustration and anxiety are coming out as shortness, or you are not social and people see that as snobbish. Unless you are sitting in a complaint center at IRS, you shouldn't be getting that much hostility. No disrespect, but I work with a LOT of people in my job, and most people respond in kind when they are treated with respect and professionalism, even employees in corporate America. If everyone is treating you badly, you are the only common denominator in that equation.

Rather than getting frustrated, try asking constructively for assistance. When someone shows you what to do, even if it is something you already know or something you don't think will work, try to "fake" enthusiasm and be honestly grateful to them for helping out. Self-deprecation goes a long way. Be pleasant and paste a smile on your face. It won't come easy at first, but eventually, I think you will notice a difference. If the computer system is really that crappy, and if nobody got trained on it, chances are that you aren't the only one having problems with it, and others may have found ways to deal with the issues you are having.

Without knowing more about the situation, I couldn't tell you why the customers are jerks to you. Again, however, if the majority of them are unpleasant, and if you aren't in a complaint or return department, you might want to do some serious introspection to figure out if you are putting off vibes that cause them to feel disrespected.

If there is anyone at your work that you respect or consider a friend, ask him/her for an honest assessment and tell him/her why. An objective observer may see things in your behaviour and attitude that you are not aware of.

A small jar of candy on your desk, and invitations to co-workers to help themselves, also goes a long way. People are slaves to their sweet tooth.

 

[Jilly50]

I say this sincerely because I have a reputation of not being very social at work. I am "all work and no play" and I don't tolerate a lot of socializing when I am trying to work. I once got an evaluation that stated that I needed to stop working so much and start socializing more. I never thought much of it, until a friend of mine told me that people thought I didn't like them and didn't care about them, because I rarely asked how they or their families were doing, and I never engaged in the hallway conversations about pets and such.

You should stop and seriously think about whether you are somehow sending a signal that makes people unpleasant to you. Maybe your frustration and anxiety are coming out as shortness, or you are not social and people see that as snobbish. Unless you are sitting in a complaint center at IRS, you shouldn't be getting that much hostility. No disrespect, but I work with a LOT of people in my job, and most people respond in kind when they are treated with respect and professionalism, even employees in corporate America. If everyone is treating you badly, you are the only common denominator in that equation.

Rather than getting frustrated, try asking constructively for assistance. When someone shows you what to do, even if it is something you already know or something you don't think will work, try to "fake" enthusiasm and be honestly grateful to them for helping out. Self-deprecation goes a long way. Be pleasant and paste a smile on your face. It won't come easy at first, but eventually, I think you will notice a difference. If the computer system is really that crappy, and if nobody got trained on it, chances are that you aren't the only one having problems with it, and others may have found ways to deal with the issues you are having.

Without knowing more about the situation, I couldn't tell you why the customers are jerks to you. Again, however, if the majority of them are unpleasant, and if you aren't in a complaint or return department, you might want to do some serious introspection to figure out if you are putting off vibes that cause them to feel disrespected.

If there is anyone at your work that you respect or consider a friend, ask him/her for an honest assessment and tell him/her why. An objective observer may see things in your behaviour and attitude that you are not aware of.

A small jar of candy on your desk, and invitations to co-workers to help themselves, also goes a long way. People are slaves to their sweet tooth.

Hon...your post was not mean spirited but you obviously have never worked as a customer service rep. I AM in the complaint center. The CSRs are the ones who not only take the orders, but fix the screw ups, which are often no fault of our own. I am not the only one who hates this type of job. Most of my coworkers dont like it either. Thats why they are so grouchy. Try , at the same time, being yelled at by a customer because a salesman made a mistake while trying to call him about the mistake while trying to fax the customer a copy of the invoice while 4 phones are ringing and your computer is running slow and OH HELL I was supposed to call the warehouse manager about getting the order to Timbuktoo there by 3 because they are closing early ... oh, and do it cheerfully for $8.50 an hour....and when you politely ask the computer tech for help he informs you you are "probably doing it wrong and ask someone else"..and...well you get the picture. I refuse to take it personally or blame myself. Candy? Hon! Its brutal out there. You are right that others are having issues with the computer and I've smiled till my ears hurt LOL. It aint my "vibes"...its that folks can be assholes. Of course its not all of them. But enough to make you wish you could leave and get drunk! Take care:loop:

 

[Jilly50]

Thanks to all who responded. It can be brutal in the workforce these days. It IS brutal. I handle it with a LOT of prayer and knowing God has and will take care of me. I do have some health and family issues (who doesnt!) and its been terribly difficult. I cant quit if i want to eat, but I am thinking/praying/seeking/pondering alternative lifestyles or way of earning a living. I cant go on like this for long. Thanks and keep the ideas coming!!!!:beat:

 

[Lora88]

As someone who was a csr for years I can relate to everything your saying. I have to tell you that going to work for Walmart was the best thing I ever did I am not young either and have health issues but I became a csr supervisor front end and it paid well no heavy lifting required the people were friendly and at times it was even fun try it some people are not made for an office enviorment and although I worked in one for many years i literally hated it hang in there and go fill out an app at walmart they will be happy to have some one of your intelligence

 

[Jilly50]

As someone who was a csr for years I can relate to everything your saying. I have to tell you that going to work for Walmart was the best thing I ever did I am not young either and have health issues but I became a csr supervisor front end and it paid well no heavy lifting required the people were friendly and at times it was even fun try it some people are not made for an office enviorment and although I worked in one for many years i literally hated it hang in there and go fill out an app at walmart they will be happy to have some one of your intelligence

thanks for the encouragement Lora. I think I would enjoy a job like that where you are not chained to your desk all day. Even if we get up, we have to wear our headset and answer the phone where ever we are. I'm tired of all of it. again, thanks!!

 

[madhen]

Hon...your post was not mean spirited but you obviously have never worked as a customer service rep. I AM in the complaint center. QUOTE]

I can understand people being grouchy in that setting, but not to the level that you claim your co-workers treat you. Now you did not mention whether they treat each other that way as well, so maybe it is just a room full of cat fights. It sounded, however, from your post, like it was directed at you alone.

I work in law enforcement, so basically my job is putting people in prison. I deal with people who hate me for what I represent, people who have just lost loved ones or everything they owned, and people who are either suspicious, guilty, or afraid of me. The running joke in our office is that we are salespeople, but that we are selling a product no one wants. You will just have to trust me that I know what stress is. For me, stress is not having people yell at you or be mean to you. Stress is wondering what waits for you beyond a closed door or around a hall corner. Stress is the anticipation of being physically attacked or shot at. Stress is being the only person on rear cover and knowing that if someone comes running out the back door, it is up to you to decide what to do to stop him. I *wish* that all I had to face every day was a few a$$holes! (And don't think I don't deal with those on the phone almost every day, as well.)

My point is that you are much more in control of your own happiness than you are admitting. It sounds like you are taking everything personally, when you know rationally that the anger and grumpiness is not truly aimed at you. I agree that if you are taking that load of emotion home every day, you need to try to find a new job. But until then, you can take control of the situation and try to make it better. Rather than going to work every day thinking about how miserable you are going to be, try to go with a sense that you are looking for something better, but that you can also make your current situation tolerable until that something better comes along. It is too easy to slip into that rut of feeling sorry for yourself, and then everything that happens makes you feel even more like a victim, which makes you feel even more sorry for yourself, until you just don't even want to get out of bed in the morning.

And you'd be surprised at how well that candy works. It acts as a place to go to get a tiny bit of pleasure. And when someone comes to you to get a piece of candy, they typically can't come to your cubicle or desk or whatever and growl at you. They can grump about their job, or sympathize with you about how crappy their day has been, but that little gesture of kindness (having a bowl of candy on your desk) typically opens up the door a crack for a nice word and a friendly bond. And kindness is like a virus - it is contagious and it spreads quickly.

 

[larabelle]

Just a couple of my thoughts.

AUGGHHHH!! I do not know how you handle it....I would have to kill some people if I were you. There is no way I could handle all of those complaints and then have unsupportive coworkers. What about going back to school for retraining in something which you will enjoy doing? I know you mentioned the health insurance was keeping you there but could you not get insurance from the university which you attend if you went back to school.

At the colleges I attended they offered student health insurance to those attending. Or could you purchase a independent policy with a large deductable while you are in school.

Also if you own your home free and clear could you get a roomate or rent out a room or two to help make your expenses. Then if you could work parttime and go to school you would have a brighter future.

There are lots of women who are #50 or older who return to school so do not say you are too old to do so. Also, you may be in the workforce for awhile. I know several women who are still working and in their seventies and they are also divorced and supporting themselves. Some of them have to work and some of them don't.

 

[Jilly50]

Hon...your post was not mean spirited but you obviously have never worked as a customer service rep. I AM in the complaint center. QUOTE]

I can understand people being grouchy in that setting, but not to the level that you claim your co-workers treat you. Now you did not mention whether they treat each other that way as well, so maybe it is just a room full of cat fights. It sounded, however, from your post, like it was directed at you alone.

I work in law enforcement, so basically my job is putting people in prison. I deal with people who hate me for what I represent, people who have just lost loved ones or everything they owned, and people who are either suspicious, guilty, or afraid of me. The running joke in our office is that we are salespeople, but that we are selling a product no one wants. You will just have to trust me that I know what stress is. For me, stress is not having people yell at you or be mean to you. Stress is wondering what waits for you beyond a closed door or around a hall corner. Stress is the anticipation of being physically attacked or shot at. Stress is being the only person on rear cover and knowing that if someone comes running out the back door, it is up to you to decide what to do to stop him. I *wish* that all I had to face every day was a few a$$holes! (And don't think I don't deal with those on the phone almost every day, as well.)

My point is that you are much more in control of your own happiness than you are admitting. It sounds like you are taking everything personally, when you know rationally that the anger and grumpiness is not truly aimed at you. I agree that if you are taking that load of emotion home every day, you need to try to find a new job. But until then, you can take control of the situation and try to make it better. Rather than going to work every day thinking about how miserable you are going to be, try to go with a sense that you are looking for something better, but that you can also make your current situation tolerable until that something better comes along. It is too easy to slip into that rut of feeling sorry for yourself, and then everything that happens makes you feel even more like a victim, which makes you feel even more sorry for yourself, until you just don't even want to get out of bed in the morning.

And you'd be surprised at how well that candy works. It acts as a place to go to get a tiny bit of pleasure. And when someone comes to you to get a piece of candy, they typically can't come to your cubicle or desk or whatever and growl at you. They can grump about their job, or sympathize with you about how crappy their day has been, but that little gesture of kindness (having a bowl of candy on your desk) typically opens up the door a crack for a nice word and a friendly bond. And kindness is like a virus - it is contagious and it spreads quickly.

I appreciate the thorough psychological evaluation and no my job isnt as bad as a prison guard or cop or whatever you are, but that isnt what i'm here for. I'm here for ideas on employment and I tossed out a bit about my current job , as to why I'm looking for another. thanks anyway

 

[Jilly50]

Just a couple of my thoughts.

AUGGHHHH!! I do not know how you handle it....I would have to kill some people if I were you. There is no way I could handle all of those complaints and then have unsupportive coworkers. What about going back to school for retraining in something which you will enjoy doing? I know you mentioned the health insurance was keeping you there but could you not get insurance from the university which you attend if you went back to school.

At the colleges I attended they offered student health insurance to those attending. Or could you purchase a independent policy with a large deductable while you are in school.

Also if you own your home free and clear could you get a roomate or rent out a room or two to help make your expenses. Then if you could work parttime and go to school you would have a brighter future.

There are lots of women who are #50 or older who return to school so do not say you are too old to do so. Also, you may be in the workforce for awhile. I know several women who are still working and in their seventies and they are also divorced and supporting themselves. Some of them have to work and some of them don't.

thanks. those are some good ideas and I will ponder them. One thing I'm very thankful to God for is that I'm basically debt free . I live in a bummer of an apartment but its a roof over my head ya know. Insurance is a biggie for people like me (heck for everyone..many hang onto crappy jobs for that reason alone) again, thanks for the ideas

 

[larabelle]

thanks. those are some good ideas and I will ponder them. One thing I'm very thankful to God for is that I'm basically debt free . I live in a bummer of an apartment but its a roof over my head ya know. Insurance is a biggie for people like me (heck for everyone..many hang onto crappy jobs for that reason alone) again, thanks for the ideas

YAHOO!!! That you are debt free!! Don't knock your apartment it is a roof over your head and you do not have to worry about home maintenance, insurance, taxes and repairs. Think on returning to school for retraining even if you have to hang on to your "crappy" job and take one class at a time. I totally empathize with you as while I was in school I worked as a customer service representative and I just wanted to kick some of the customers.unch: Thank God my coworkers were very supportive. :dopey: Believe me if you have a goal of getting out of that type of job by retraining and a date of when you will be done it will make the job a whole lot more bearable. I used to say to myself when I worked as a customer service representative "I can make it thru this 8 hours and I will not think about tomorrow and in #18(or how ever long you have to go) months I will be done with school and be able to do something else."

 

[oneway]

I recommend you take a look at 48days.com

This is called 48 days to the work you love. It appears to be useful to a lot of people and I get a free weekly newsletter emailed to me each week.

Good luck. I also just prayed for you.

 

[Judi Dial]

Hmmm. I've been doing retail for 30 years. And, although I've never been a CSR, I've certainly seen the best and worst of people, and that's hard to take.

The worst was being a bursar at a college during registration.

"Do you know how LONG I've been standing in line?" (irate customer) "Yes. Four hours. I waited on everyone in front of you. Can I help you?" (me)

This didn't always work, but it did sometimes!

My next door neighbor's then teenaged daughter was making $10 an hour to clean the local supermarket's floor. This was 5 years ago. Don't get discouraged. There is work out there for MORE money than you're currently making without all the hassles. I don't have any specific recommendations, but I hope you find something soonest.

Judi

 

[faw42077]

I can totally sympatize with you, I use to work in customer service and it was one of the worst jobs I ever had.

I don't really have any advice, but hang in there:hugz: