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I have a friend (d) who is driving me nuts. I don't really know what to do. SHe feels she has some sort of inside knowledge of my family. She'll speak of MIL being a doting caring hands on kind of mother to her boys, fluttery eyed completely in love with FIL. Now...D had never met her...ever. MIL died before I even met D. And not a moot point, that's really the opposite of how MIL was anyhow. It's like D remembers that I have discussed Mil, family etc in the past, but i was "white noise" she really didn't listen to. She's said stuff like this about my mother, my brother, etc etc. She's said things suggesting my mom's side of the family is wealthy. They're not. They never have been either. My gram is probably the most thrifty, frugal person I have ever known. Not to mention the things she says in a passing sort of way about my DH not providing well. HE does. My hubby works easily 12-16 hour days...6-7 days a week! WTF?? I feel like wringing her neck because several times i have corrected her, and set it straight, but later she says it the same again! It's like i am not being listened to at all.

What would you do?

:yoyo:
 

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IS your friend my friend? I know what type of person this is because I have one in my life too. I'm sorry to say but it's been my experience that you cant really do anything. They just don't get it. People like her live in a different world. You just have to let it roll off your back but at the same time don't let her get away with it. IF she says something that isn't right just correct her. OF course always say it nicely but firm. Once I started correcting her, even in front of people it just somehow became easier to deal with.
 

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I think you need to just come out and set her straight, I mean if she's truely a friend she will understand.

Let us know how things go!
 

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She sounds wacky to me and enjoys making her own drama. I'd opt out and send her on her way to live well & prosper.
Feel no remorse in smiling & sending her on her way Miss. She's living in another dimension of which you have no need nor part of.
Carry on without her, no matter how hard that may be.;)
 

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She sounds wacky to me and enjoys making her own drama. I'd opt out and send her on her way to live well & prosper.
Feel no remorse in smiling & sending her on her way Miss. She's living in another dimension of which you have no need nor part of.
Carry on without her, no matter how hard that may be.;)
in truth that's probably the best course of action. guesss i just needed to hear it from someone else apart from myself :relieved:
 

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Discussion Starter #8
You're probably right, i just have a hard time worrying about whether or not i am being mean. kwim? But it isn't good for me either.
 

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Maybe talk to her about the time you had lunch with her mother and how wonderful it was. If she's living in a dream world, you may as well, too. LOL. You could play some FUN head games.

Don't listen to me--listen to the other smart ladies here!! That's really strange, though--I've never known anyone like that. She must be lonely and just take on your family as her own???
 

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Maybe talk to her about the time you had lunch with her mother and how wonderful it was. If she's living in a dream world, you may as well, too. LOL. You could play some FUN head games.

Nearly blew water out of my nose laughing at this! Thank you!

My friends Mom is "wacky" and thrives on "making her own drama" somehow all of the events that happen in the world are somehow connected to her. You can send her packing or start correcting her errors when they happen. If you do start correcting her, ALWAYS start with the same statement. She and everyone else will start to see the pattern.

For example: I don't understand. My MIL died before I met you. How did she dote on your boys again?

I don't understand, how was it that my MIL showed you kindness you never met her before she died.

THATS IT!!!! She is channelling your MIL!
 

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Ceashels--now YOU have ME snorting water (Int'l Mom did that to me tonight, too through PM). Are we long lost sisters because MY mom has all tragedy connected to HER!!! LOL.
 

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I had a "friend" that was a bit like that. In my case, she projected her problems onto my family. It was my kids with the problems, my DH that couldn't keep a job, ect. when in reality these were all her problems. She was always giving me advice and wanting to help me "fix" my life. I had finally had enough and wouldn't give in to one of her demands, she wrote me a nasty letter ending with the phrase..."If you want me to help you fix your life...call me" That was 2 years ago and guess what?....I haven't called and my life is much calmer.
 

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if she is acting like she has some inside knowledge, she very well may.

I have a friend I can't stand either, only the person I know I think is just jealous so I have learned to not react to them or take them seriously. You can learn to do this too maybe.

Jerry Steinfeld had a show about friends you can't stand how they just keep coming around.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
if she is acting like she has some inside knowledge, she very well may.
I don't understand. How could she have any inside info?
 

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I did something with this so called friend of mine that helped me and maybe will help you too...

In general conversation I mentioned
because we were "AQUAINTENCES" instead of the word : friend
This was to kind of establish my boundries with that person...

It will also help not to disclose too much of yourself or your families life or doings to this person...
it will be of no benefit to you and be twisted up.
I had the very unfortunate experience to know some people like that in my teenage years, who were adults and they did me no service or benefit in life.

It is better to distance yourself from those kind of people when things are seemingly ok... and not in the middle of an arguement.
Just be kinda too busy to chat more than 30 seconds... because it is of no benefit to be around people like that.

Its where the saying comes from:
with friends like that who needs enemies.

Don't gossip about her, don't have more than a 30 second conversation with her, be too busy to chat and she will eventually stop calling you or trying to play head games with you.

missy, she could...
she could know something and making it into something bigger than it is.
 

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missy, she could...
she could know something and making it into something bigger than it is.
:confused: I must have missed something.



I have a sister-in-law who is kind of like this- she likes to make comments to me about DH's eating habits, his preferences in movies, or other little details that would show just how well she knows him (implying that I don't-- even though we've been together 15+ years). The problem is, she's completely wrong 99% of the time. The only thing I can figure is that she likes to think she has the inside scoop or something to make herself feel important. I correct her if she's persistant, and I ignore her if she's just throwing out odd little made-up facts that aren't even worth responding to.

Missy- I think Darlene was right- I'd keep some distance from this person. Someone who doesn't listen and twists details of your family stories is not someone I would trust or share personal things with.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I have a sister-in-law who is kind of like this- she likes to make comments to me about DH's eating habits, his preferences in movies, or other little details that would show just how well she knows him (implying that I don't-- even though we've been together 15+ years). The problem is, she's completely wrong 99% of the time. The only thing I can figure is that she likes to think she has the inside scoop or something to make herself feel important. I correct her if she's persistant, and I ignore her if she's just throwing out odd little made-up facts that aren't even worth responding to.

Missy- I think Darlene was right- I'd keep some distance from this person. Someone who doesn't listen and twists details of your family stories is not someone I would trust or share personal things with.
I think you and Darlene have got it. I think distancing myself would be the best course of action.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
thing is, I have known and been a part of dh's family for what???? 15 years or more. I have known her for 2? 3? Something like that.
 
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